


Stranger in a Strange Land

by Useless_girl



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Universe - Historical, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Humiliation, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Slash, Minor Character Death, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Slash, Supernatural Elements, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:37:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 72,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the day of Prince Thomas' arranged marraige is closing in, the blond prince feels the noose tighten around his neck as his rebellious emotions get stirred up. But the man who was chosen for him to unite their kingdoms turn out to be different than he'd expected...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes Come

**Note 1:** First of all, this is pure fiction and written for entertainment only, thus I mean no harm to anyone with it. Please, read the warnings as the story may contain triggering parts to some. Second, this was inspired by Adam’s music (obviously) and a few Adommy fanfictions and writers I’ve been reading lately – especially _toobusy2write_ ’s amazing story, “[Spoil of War](http://archiveofourown.org/works/323916/chapters/521677)”, which was one of the first Adommy FFs I’d read on AO3 and which made a huge impact on me. Ever since reading it I’ve been toying with this story here and it didn’t take long for my muse to give that certain spark which allowed this story to come alive. I’d like to recommend this story to my roleplayer friends, Tommy and Stefan for being the amazing persons they are, but most of all to my dear friend [S. M. A.](http://shayan-m-akbar.livejournal.com/) to whom I owe a lot and whom I love dearly. Thank you babes for all the support and love! <3

 **Note 2:** As music is like air to me and I saw that many here provide a soundtrack to their stories, I’ve decided to give it a try too as I totally loved the idea. So the soundtrack I’ve put together to my story can be found [HERE](https://mega.co.nz/#!kYNRFIRR!UoqOSV4C_Sb95PpWHDE9t-zfx9dhPXqUJcBb7CpDWOg). I hope you’ll like it and find it fitting. You’ll see that most songs have a chapter to go with. ;)

 **Note 3:** Without giving away too much about the plot, I think a few words are needed about this world to be easier to understand it. It’s a completely fictional and historical AU one with two kingdoms, the “Land of the Sea” and the “Land of the Desert”. The former resembles the ancient Greece, while the latter Egypt, although they are not completely like those, but I took the liberty to incorporate a few elements from those religions, mythology, and architecture and so on. I hope you’ll like it.

 **Note 4:** I’m not a native speaker of English, therefore there might be grammatical and stylistic mistakes in it (mostly because I don’t have a beta and I correct my writings myself). So bear with me please. The illustration was made by me and the title comes from a 30 Seconds To Mars song with the same title. Constructive criticism/comments are very much appreciated! Now that the boring stuff is over, let’s get this started! ;)

 

  
_Full size of the picture[HERE](http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/148/8/5/stranger_in_a_strange_land_by_useless_girl-d7k3f8y.jpg)._

 

 

**Useless-girl:  
Stranger in a Strange Land**

 

**Chapter 1  
Changes Come**

Normally, he liked such nice warm days when the breeze moved the long richly decorated curtains, bringing in the smell of the salty ocean. As a child he and his older sister played a lot outside, near the water. They’d go down to the beach and try to build the copy of the castle which towered over them on the cliff. He was never really good at that, his sister was more creative with her hands. She was usually always better at things, but it never bothered him while they were growing up. They loved each other.

No wonder that now, years later, he was missing her badly. She was already married far away from their kingdom. Lisa was lucky because the man their parents chose for her when she was merely a child was good and now they were in love, having kids while ruling the small kingdom they had. Sadly it wasn’t a strong and rich enough kingdom to provide the help this kingdom needed at the moment. That’s why he, Prince Thomas Joe Ratliff was sitting next to his father, King Ron. He always respected him and his late mother, Queen Dia who had passed away a few years ago, but he never particularly liked arranged marriages. And he was the heir apparent for the throne as he was their only male heir. Tommy – as he preferred to be called when no formality was needed – found it kind of amusing that he was chosen a man to marry. It wasn’t uncommon, no one frowned on same sex marriage around the lands, but he could never wrap his head around the question how they were to produce an heir this way. He clearly couldn’t bear a child and he was sure the other prince that was chosen for him couldn’t either. Missing the sarcastic tone he used, his father explained to him once that there were ways, like making a woman bear their children, or appointing the heir they both saw fitting to be the next king.

But until recently he didn’t really have to think about such things. No, his husband wasn’t chosen for him right after his birth. He was around ten when the deal was made by King Ron and King Eber. He vaguely remembered a red-haired chubby boy with lots of freckles at that one time when King Eber and his family visited to work out the details of the future marriage. They didn’t really have the chance to talk or play so the image of that shy boy quickly faded away in Tommy’s mind. He knew though that this day would come, but he tried not to think too much about it. He could pretty much close up in his own little world and surround himself with things he liked and did what he loved. But the latest news about the southern kingdoms’ growing strength put everything in a different perspective and the two kings had decided to take action until it wasn’t too late.

And now he was sitting here barefooted, wearing a richly decorated light blue gown held together by a silver belt, the sun dancing around his blond hair that was shaved on one side of his head and let longer on the other. It was partly due to the hot climate of their land and partly because Tommy liked to be different. No one seemed to mind that and he felt satisfied that at least this choice was given to him. The life of the crown prince was regulated by many rules and he wasn’t particularly fond of obeying those rules.

The light danced on the several earrings, the heavy silver necklace, the bracelets and rings he was wearing too. While the servants were preparing him for today he found himself between the skilled hands of Sutan, whom he rather called his friend than servant, and let him apply some powder on his face and eyelids. He was no stranger to the black kohl around the eyes and the colored balm on his lips either, but this time it felt different.

Mainly, because as they were waiting for the ocean to bring their visitors from the desert closer, he felt himself on display. Like a ware to be sold for the buyer with the highest bid. He knew it wasn’t completely like that, but his ego was hurt once he was put into this situation without any right to say no. He wanted to make his own choices but he knew a lot was at stake. He had responsibilities towards his family and future kingdom whether he liked it or not.

The doubts were always there too, of course. What if Prince Adam became a cruel asshole during the years? What if they won’t like each other at all? Tommy wasn’t sure if he could live on the side of a man to whom he wasn’t even attracted to or liked. And hell, he won’t let him touch him if that was the case.

The sounds of the trumpets brought him back from his reverie and his hands tightened on the silver armrests of his throne that was of course smaller than the king’s. He let his brown eyes travel across the throne hall. At the far end he saw movement through the open two-winged door. From the corner of his eye Tommy saw that the guards became more aware but he knew it wasn’t because of their guests – who supposedly meant no danger to them – they just tried to be prepared to anything. He liked the men that served under his father. They were treated well and for that the royal family got the most important thing they could give: their loyalty. Tommy had read and heard of many kings who didn’t pay enough attention to their men and servants. Many mistreated them even or forced them into slavery and sooner or later it cost them their lives. No, here the servants got paid for their services and treated well and he planned to do that as a king as well in his future kingdom where he was to be taken after the wedding. He really hoped that this wouldn’t be an issue between him and Adam.

This wasn’t the actual wedding yet, just the traditional courtesy visit of the suitor before the wedding where they were officially introduced to each other. Tommy knew that there was a week between this visit and the wedding itself and until then the royal family of the Land of the Desert and their escorts would be their guests. Once the ceremony was done, Tommy was to go back to that foreign land with them and be greeted as the spouse of their new king while the current one, King Eber (and his own father in this realm) would resign and remain as the counselor and right hand of the new rulers. If Tommy was a woman, he’d have the status of the new Queen, which pissed him off to say the least. He was no woman and he really hoped this Adam wouldn’t treat him as such either. He wanted to have equal rights to rule that neighboring kingdom. He didn’t want to be only the connection to his home, the Land of the Sea. He was determined that he’d make sure he wouldn’t be suppressed only because of his small built or because he was a stranger in a strange land.

Despite the determination that he felt and clearly showed on his face, his stomach flipped from excitement and nervousness as the first men appeared carrying the golden flags of the House of Lamberts. It had a black eye and a skeleton-key underneath it. Tommy knew from his father and the history books that the eye symbolized protection, royal power and good health, while the key meant ancient wisdom that the royal family beheld in a sacred library. Tommy knew too that while blue and silver were the colors of their own kingdom, gold and black were the colors of their guests. He watched as the delegacy came closer. After the flag carriers, a double line of men and women came carrying all kinds of gifts from food to gold and expensive drapes. Then a handful of their best warriors marched in their fine golden and black armor. Right after them the royal guards followed surrounding two palanquins carried by men with olive skin. As a matter of fact all of them had darker, sun-tanned skin – which wasn’t a surprise since they came from the land of the sun and desert.

Tommy was wondering if the royal family looked anything like these people. He couldn’t trust his blurry memories of them anymore, but he thought he’d find out soon enough as the march stopped. Following his father’s example Tommy stood up too and stepped forward to the edge of the top stair of the podium their thrones were situated on while they waited for their guests to get out of the palanquins.

First he saw King Eber and Queen Leila emerge. The king was a tall man with light blondish red hair and white skin, his wife had dark brown hair with sun-kissed skin. They were clearly from royal blood, Tommy could tell from the way they carried themselves and to his relief they weren’t too serious or strict looking as they both had a small smile on their friendly faces. They were already walking towards them, Eber leading Leila on his arm. By the time Tommy’s eyes moved behind them the two princes were already out of their palanquin. The shorter one had short dark hair and a slightly muscular built. _He must be Prince Neil_ , Tommy thought as he had some cloudy memories of a smaller prince. And then another dark-haired prince was walking behind him, which confused Tommy a little as he expected a red-head like in his memory. But once Prince Adam lifted his clear blue eyes on Tommy, he had no doubt that it was him. He could clearly remember that look.

Slightly nervous and very aware of the fact that he was looking into the eyes of his future husband he stopped himself from fidgeting or looking aside. He pressed his lips together and kept the eye-contact until the prince turned his head to look at King Ron.

As the servants lined up to the left and to the right with the gifts, the royal family walked closer. Now Tommy could tell that Prince Adam wasn’t chubby or short anymore. At all. Growing up suited him for sure. He was tall, not exactly muscular but his wide body was nicely toned. Tommy swallowed hard. He had to admit that his suitor was a gorgeous and handsome man. While they approached the throne the blond prince stuck out his chin and lifted his head as if he wanted to look taller. He knew that it was probably a childish move, but he was already intimidated by the prince’s beauty that was enhanced by make up too. The clear blue eyes were painted with thick black lines that formed the same eye that was on the Lamberts’ flag, and the full lips were glistening from some balm. Although they were already standing in front of the stairs that led up to the throne, Tommy couldn’t see any freckles on the prince’s face and the rest of his body was hidden under the loose golden fabric of his tunic. Tommy knew he wasn’t ugly either – many had told him before, both family and his lovers that he was pretty – but for a moment he felt like a gray mouse compared to Prince Adam’s beauty and presence.

“My dear friend, welcome to our kingdom. It’s been too long,” his father’s voice brought Tommy back from his thoughts as the king walked down the few steps to shake hands and hug King Eber, who returned the gesture with a friendly smile.

“Indeed, my friend. I hope you remember my lovely queen Leila and of course our sons, Prince Adam and Neil. I am sorry that your queen is not among us anymore. She was a true blessing,” he added with sympathy as this was the first time he could express his condolences in person since Tommy’s mother had passed away.

“Of course I remember. Queen Leila, it’s always a pleasure for the sore eyes to see you,” King Ron bowed and kissed the offered hand, which was rewarded with a warm smile and a small nod from the Queen. “Thank you Eber, I appreciate your words. Her loss was hard on the whole kingdom. Come, meet my son, Prince Thomas again,” he waved behind him and Tommy slowly walked down the stairs, just like they rehearsed. The bracelets and the other jewels he was wearing made soft clinging sounds as he moved a little stiff but gracefully still.

Tommy could feel all eyes on him as he joined his father. He hated it. He preferred to keep to himself most of the time. Being on display like this made him uncomfortable but he tried not to show it as he was reintroduced to the royal pair. He shook hands with Eber, kissed Leila’s hand like his father did, greeted Prince Neil with a handshake too, but was taken by surprise when he wanted to do the same with Prince Adam, but the prince changed his hold on his hand and slightly bent down to kiss the back of it. The brush of the soft lips on his skin sent a shiver down his spine and he was glad that the powder Sutan had applied on his face hid most of his blush. Now he hated his traitor body too as he felt more confused from his reaction to the prince.

“I hope you had a pleasant journey” he said just to say something and break the spell the hand kiss caused. He pulled his hand back and resisted the urge to rub the back of it against his thigh as he could still feel his skin on fire where the dark-haired prince kissed it.

“Yes, we did. Despite the heat of course. Luckily there were no inconveniences along the road,” the queen smiled at Tommy friendly and he instantly liked her. Her future mother-in-law. It was still so strange for him to think of them like that. His new family. He forced himself to return the smile as he stepped back, letting his father take charge.

“Thank you for the wedding presents. Please, let our servants lead you to the rooms we’ve prepared for your stay and feel free to refresh yourselves and rest a little before dinner is served in the dining hall. In case you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask the servants,” he waved to a group of men and women lined up close to the door.

“Thank you Ron, some rest and a cold drink would be appreciated, indeed. During dinner we can discuss the matters of the upcoming wedding and the latest news about the southern kingdoms,” Eber nodded and squeezed Ron’s shoulder before their guests headed towards said servants.

Tommy refused to look at the princes while their fathers were talking. He could feel Prince Adam stare holes into him, which annoyed the blond and made him clench his jaw. When he finally was left alone with his father and they both watched the servants carry the expensive wedding gifts away, Tommy finally let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“What do you think, son?”

“They seem nice. I didn’t sense any ill will on any of them. But you know them better,” he said shortly.

“The Lamberts’ have been our allies for long years now. They are the very few rulers who actually care about their people and their kingdom. They are good people. You’ll grow to love them just as much as I and your mother did, you’ll see.”

“If you say so.”

“You’ll grow to love Prince Adam too. He is just as straightforward and caring as his parents.”

“That doesn’t mean that I don’t oppose the idea of arranged marriage,” he turned to look into his father’s eyes.

“Tommy… we’ve been through this several times,” he sighed “You know that I don’t want to force this on you, but the traditions…”

“… yeah, the traditions, your promise and the state of our kingdom make it necessary. I know, father. It doesn’t make me feel happier about this.”

“You don’t trust my decisions, son?”

“You know that I do. It’s just not easy.”

“I know, Tommy. You are a free spirit like your mother was,” he put a hand on the side of his son’s neck. “You remind me of her a lot,” he said with fondness in his voice. “You’ll do well. I trust you. You’ll be an important link between the two kingdoms. My eyes and ears over there in their land.”

“I know my role and obligations, father,” he nodded, letting his long bangs fall into his eye.

“Good. I’m counting on you, son,” he gently patted his shoulder and turned to retreat to his chambers. “I expect you to show up for dinner in time,” he said over his shoulder.

“I will, father,” Tommy sighed. Despite the curiousness he felt because of their guests, a part of him just wanted to skip that dinner where people would decide over his future while he was very much present. All set out for him. He felt the rope tighten around his neck and wrists and he could do nothing against it.

***

Tommy was sitting by the table quietly and a little stiff. His father took the seat by the head of the table, Tommy to his right and King Eber, his wife and sons on the king’s left. The rest of the table was filled with the court’s nobility. Of course they were curious about the Lamberts and how things would change for the kingdom with the upcoming marriage. While Ron and Eber were discussing the details of the wedding – like how the Lamberts and Tommy will head back to the Land of the Desert the following day, or how the ceremony will mix together the traditions of the two nations – Tommy fixed his gaze on his plate, trying to feel the taste of the clam soup he was eating but failing miserably. He was still nervous and uncomfortable about this situation he found himself in.

The queen must have read it from his stiff moves too, because while her husband and Tommy’s father started talking about the situation in the south Tommy heard her address him, which made him look up and meet her kind expression.

“Prince Thomas, I was wondering if you remembered us from our last visit. You and my sons were still small when we had the time to travel to your beautiful kingdom,” she said smiling encouragingly at him. Clearly she tried to ease the tension in Tommy and he appreciated it. She could’ve ignored his discomfort.

“My memories aren’t too sharp of that visit anymore. But I remember your kindness and that you seemed to be good friends with my mother, Queen Leila.”

“No need for formalities now. Just Leila, please,” she asked and her eyes clouded over a little at the mention of Queen Dia. “Yes, we knew each other with your mother quite well. Over the years we forged a deep friendship and when we couldn’t meet we kept sending letters to each other. She was a wonderful woman. I’m sorry for your loss too.”

“Thank you. Call me Tommy then,” Tommy nodded and pressed his lips together, eyes wandering back to his plate but he was just stirring the rest of his soup. It still hurt thinking about his mother. She was an open-minded and consistent queen. Everyone could go to her – just like to Tommy’s father – if they had any problems. The fever that took her came from the blue and sadly their healers couldn’t help on her.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. It clearly upsets you, but I understand. I hear your sister is about to give birth to her second child?” she tried to change the subject and Tommy was grateful. He noticed that Prince Adam was listening to their conversation while eating and exchanging some quiet sentences with his brother.

“Indeed. They are excited about it. My niece is going to be three this year. They sometimes visit and then I can be the favorite uncle… not that she’d have another uncle,” he said smiling now as the little girl came into his mind.

“You like children then?” Leila smiled wider again.

“They seem to like me,” Tommy shrugged “But yes, I like to have them around. I plan to have… well… before this arranged marriage I planned to have a few of my own too once I found the right woman,” he confessed letting his bangs fall into his eyes for bringing this up. _Nicely done_. As the reality of the situation hit him again and he realized that having his own children wasn’t likely to happen anymore his mood took a downward turn again. _So unfair_. He really liked children.

“It doesn’t mean you can’t have children with Adam. He is good with them too, right, sweetheart?” she turned to her left, probably knowing that the prince was eavesdropping.

“Mother, please… you are embarrassing me,” he snorted.

Tommy couldn’t stop to stare, hearing the prince’s voice for the first time was too interesting not to. Their eyes met for a brief second and Tommy could’ve sworn that the prince was blushing under the make up.

“Why? You are great with Neil’s son and mentioned before that you’d like to have kids on your own too, even if you only prefer to lay with men,” she elaborated and Tommy couldn’t tell if she was teasing him, wanting to ease up Tommy some more, or it was about pure motherly naivety.

“Mother! I think talking about kids is a little too soon. We don’t even know each other yet,” Prince Adam glimpsed at Tommy and there was something in his look that made the blond man turn his attention back to his plate.

“You’ll have time to get to know each other. Your father and I and Tommy’s parents were in the same situation and we’d learned to love each other. You know how much I love your father. You two will be just fine,” she shrugged smiling and thanked the servant who took her plate before the second course was served. “Besides you are just his type,” she said to Tommy grinning and now he was sure she was teasing his son.

“Mother! Pleaaaase!” Prince Adam growled and turned to his brother, clearly wanting to end the conversation.

As Tommy looked up he was biting his lip to stop a smile and he could’ve sworn that the queen winked at him. Although he still hated the situation, he started to like Leila more and more. He could see what his mother liked in her. Maybe… just maybe he won’t hate it so much in that other kingdom.


	2. Burnt like fire in a pyre

**Chapter 2  
Burnt like fire in a pyre**

The first time the two princes could actually talk alone happened three days after that dinner. Tommy was at his favorite spot on the beach. It was a small bay-like stretch with sand and big rocks. His back was propped on a smooth rock and he rested an old book on his knees which were pulled up close to his chest. Time after time he stroked his bangs behind his ear but the warm breeze always messed it up. He didn’t really mind as he was too lost in the pages. He didn’t even realize he was being watched for a while by an approaching figure.

“Prince Thomas. I must tell I’ve never seen anyone so absorbed in a book,” he heard all of a sudden, the voice making him slightly jump. Looking up he saw the dark-haired prince. “Mind if I join you? We haven’t really had the chance to talk so far.”

“It’ll be your kingdom too so I can’t stop you from sitting wherever you want to,” he said and turned his attention back to the page he was reading, but the words didn’t make any sense anymore once the prince sat down and the silence stretched between them.

“I presume it’s true, but I’d rather have your permission as this is your homeland after all,” he finally broke the silence, clearly getting bored of it.

“Whatever… Prince Adam,” he added his title not to seem ruder than he already was. He didn’t really know why he was acting like this since the other man never gave any reason for him to do so.

He could feel the clear blue eyes on him and heard the prince’s sigh as he waited for a few seconds before asking “What are you reading?”

“Old legends of my kingdom. About monsters and mythical creatures of the sea.”

“I can see those are your favorites.”

“What?” Tommy looked at him puzzled.

“Your tattoos on your arms. Next to those that represent your royal status, there are some of those creatures on your skin too, if I’m not mistaken…” he pointed out looking at Tommy’s tattooed arms which were left free by his thin sleeveless tunic. “They are pretty impressive.”

“Yeah. Well, thanks,” he glimpsed at said tattoos before turning back to the book.

“Am I bothering you?” Adam asked after a minute of silence.

“No.”

“I don’t believe you,” he shook his head and looked ahead of him, watching the water lick the shore, but before Tommy could question him if he was calling him a liar he went on “You think I wanted this?” he whispered softer.

“Our marriage?” he looked at the handsome man from behind his blonde bangs and when Adam nodded, still not looking at him, Tommy turned his head towards the water too. “I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know you.”

“I’m trying to change that, Thomas. I hate the idea of being forced on you. That’s just not me. Don’t forget that my hands are tied here just as much as yours.”

“Why did you agree?”

“Probably for the same reasons you did. Protecting and making our kingdoms stronger with uniting their powers. The Land of the Sea is an important supplier of food and goods for our kingdom in the desert. We don’t have as many fish and water for agriculture like here. Most of my people live along the biggest river of our country as the rest is hot desert. We cannot risk losing the support of your kingdom in case you get attacked from the south.”

“So I’m a good catch. A tool then. Just like I thought,” he snorted closing his book and stood up. He didn’t look too pissed, rather closed up, but he looked down at the prince when Tommy felt warm and strong fingers capture his wrist and preventing him from walking away.

“You are being childish. It’s not about you or I and you know that. It’s for the greater good. To protect our people. Don’t you want to do that? You are acting like a selfish child, Prince Thomas,” Adam frowned up at him as he was studying the hard lines of Tommy’s face.

“Let go of me, Prince Adam,” Tommy gritted through his teeth, anger flaring up in his brown eyes, although he knew that the prince was probably right.

“Not until you admit you are wrong here,” he shook his head and the calmness coming off the other man was only pissing off Tommy more and made him tug on his hand to free it.

Maybe he was being childish, but he just hated the idea of being a tool, an object in a plan – no matter how important that plan was. He won’t be anyone’s soulless and silent pawn in the kingdoms’ politics. Tommy was too much of a free spirit and dreamer, a gentle soul for that. Most of the time that knowledge was hidden from everyone though. He had to maintain the picture of the strong crown prince. He couldn’t show weakness to anyone. Not even in his own court. They couldn’t be sure if there weren’t spies from the other kingdoms and Tommy was just as sure as his father that if the opportunity was given, their enemy would strike down immediately. Still, even the thought of being a “trophy wife”, so to say, was suffocating Tommy. And he couldn’t know if Adam wasn’t just being nice now before the wedding, playing with Tommy. He heard about things like that before. He knew people where after the wedding the spouse showed his or her real face.

The blond prince was sure in one thing: he would fight if it came down to that. He thought that he could fight Prince Adam, use the advantage of being smaller and quicker than the tall man sitting on the sand, although his grip was tight and Tommy could feel the strength in the fingers around his wrist. It’d be tricky but he’s been training since childhood. “Let. Me. Go. Unless you want me to fight you,” he warned.

“Oh you think you could win?”

“Yes,” he hissed and he wasn’t trying to mask his anger anymore.

He watched the prince raise a brow and keep the eye-contact as he was probably contemplating about provoking a fight maybe for his amusement or just to see if Tommy really could take him down. Tommy’s mind was already clouded by his anger but his calculating fighter nature was kicking in too, thinking about the short dagger hidden by his waist under his tunic. Prince Adam was holding on to his left wrist which left his fighting hand free. It’d be easy to grab the dagger and even if he couldn’t harm his future husband severely, show him his place.

“Please, give me a reason,” Tommy growled still holding the book in his captured hand, Adam’s smug grin irritating him to no end. But instead of getting what he wanted the prince let go of his wrist. He resisted the urge to check it out as it was still throbbing and burning where the firm grip of the warm hand held him captive. Tommy snorted and turned around with his book, heading back to the uneven stone stairs that led back up to the castle.

He didn’t get far when he could hear quick footsteps from behind. Without any hesitation he dropped the book into the wet sand and spun around faster than anyone could expect from him. Of course it was Prince Adam planning on coming onto him from behind like a coward would do. Without thinking Tommy kicked his legs out, making the prince land on his back with a muffled moan. In the next moment the blond was straddling the bigger man and held the sharp dagger against his throat, cold anger burning in his eyes. “I see you play dirty, coward,” he hissed watching the prince swallow against the blade. And he was to marry this man? The fucking joke of the century.

“You asked me for a reason. I gave you one,” he gave him another of those irritating lopsided smirks. Tommy had to give the prince that at least he didn’t look frightened even if a blade was pressed against his throat.

“Oh so attacking me from behind was just providing me what I asked for?” Tommy snorted.

“Exactly. And I wanted to see if you could fight as well as rumors said,” he shrugged looking straight into Tommy’s eyes with those unbelievably blue ones which were reflecting the color of the sea at the moment.

“Did the rumors prove to be right?”

“It seems. But I had another reason to do it,” he said calmly.

“What?” Tommy frowned a little confused as he tried to figure out his other motif.

“To get closer to you and do this,” the prince said and without any warning or caring about the blade against his throat he grabbed the back of Tommy’s head and pulled him down so he could press his lips against the blond man’s.

Tommy tried to fight him off, but he didn’t want to accidentally cut the prince’s throat. That wouldn’t sit well with either of their families or kingdoms. At least that was how he reasoned with himself for pulling the dagger back. Though it was more likely that the real reason was the surprise and the softness of Prince Adam’s lips against his. It’s been a while since he’d exchanged kisses with anyone. In the last few weeks as the wedding’s date was coming closer he’s been too tense and impatient to let anyone close to him, although his father urged him to have at least one old lover to keep him relaxed. It didn’t happen. Tommy wasn’t going to use anyone for such purposes and he needed to be alone, think, make plans.

But now as Adam’s tongue licked along the seam of his mouth, asking for permission, all the suppressed desire and nervousness broke loose inside and he let the exploring tongue inside. The prince surely knew how to use his mouth and tongue, Tommy had to give him that as he already felt his body on fire from only one passionate kiss which he was returning just as eagerly. He already had his fair share of good kisses, but this was something new. Adam tried to dominate the kiss, and their tongues were rather battling than dancing. It was rough, exciting, burning and Tommy got carried away, like falling under the spell of the prince, who was clearly enjoying the hell out of the situation.

In his previous relationships the blond prince always had the upper hand. He liked to be in control in bed. He blamed his upbringing with all the rules and the lesson he was taught: always stay on alert, never let your guard down. As a result of that he could never really relax. Not even in bed. So Adam trying to take control of the kiss and through that over Tommy too, was refreshing and hot. But just when Tommy was starting to yield under Adam’s dominance and felt the prince’s erection press against him he broke the kiss and jumped to his feet. He stumbled and nearly fell as he was still a little dizzy from the amount of passion the kiss evoked in both of them. He could feel himself half-hard under his clothes, and knew that his face was flushed, lips swollen and red, pupils blown as he looked down at the dark-haired prince shocked and already pissed again.

He huffed and put his dagger away, hiding a little behind his hair as he stormed towards the stairs, muttering “Fucking perv” loud enough for Adam to hear, who just lay there laughing loud. The sound accompanied him for a while as he was climbing the stairs. Only much later in his chambers when he was less angry but confused like hell, did he realize that in his hurry he’d left his book behind. He was in trouble – and not because of pressing a blade against the neck of the Land of the Desert’s crown prince.

*******

He didn’t get into trouble for the dagger incident in the upcoming days so he guessed, for some reason, Prince Adam was keeping his mouth shut about it. Tommy hoped that he wasn’t expecting to be rewarded for that in any way. The blond prince didn’t like him better after that afternoon on the beach. Moreover, he only felt more confused because of that kiss and what it did to him. If the prince wanted to get into Tommy’s head then he seemed to succeed because it seemed that all Tommy could think about was that damned kiss and how his traitor body reacted to it. It was like liquid fire that was trying to melt his resistance and do whatever Adam wanted to do. Tommy didn’t feel like his usual self and he did everything to avoid his future husband ever since.

That meant retreating to his chambers and surrounding himself with his beloved books but mostly just writing and playing music on his beloved guitar, which was a present from his father after he’d returned from a faraway diplomacy trip a few years ago. He loved playing on it. Mostly he taught himself but got some help from a young court musician who used to play at celebrations and became Tommy’s first male lover. Tommy stopped for a moment thinking how Carlo might be doing. He’d left the kingdom two years ago saying that he liked to wander the kingdoms and earn his living with his music, not staying in one place for long. Sometimes Tommy was still missing him.

When their guitar teaching sessions turned into hot sex Tommy used to be dominant with Carlo too. He loved topping his male lovers. There weren’t many, but enough to get experience with being a man. But for some reason he never let them top him. Probably because once one of them got drunker than he should have and tried to force Tommy into submitting. Needless to say that Tommy beat him and made sure that the guards threw him out of the castle, maybe even the kingdom. That bad memory was enough for him to always try to stay in control. With women it wasn’t such a challenge, most of them were just happy that the crown prince took them to his bed and submitted gladly, doing whatever Tommy wanted to do in bed.

But his reaction to the black-haired prince made Tommy wonder. Adam seemed to like being dominant. At least that’s what Tommy concluded from the heated kiss they’ve exchanged. It made him frown but at the same time it piqued his interest too. He started wondering how it’d feel to submit to Adam. Would he be able to do that? To completely let go? He was still a stranger and Tommy didn’t want this marriage any better than before he knew Adam in person. He didn’t know or trust him yet and maybe he never will. What if Adam get impatient and wants to live with his bed-right? Tommy doubted that he’d let Tommy fuck him or put off going to bed with him for long. After all it was another stupid tradition that was needed to consecrate the marriage between the king and the “queen”.

Tommy knew that since the traditions of the two kingdoms would be mixed on their wedding it meant that the actual wedding night would be held back in the Land of the Desert. As the laws of that kingdom said that it had to happen in the royal palace. It was a condition Tommy and his father agreed to. Partly to please the Lamberts and partly because it gave Tommy an extra few days before he had to let Adam close to him and get used to the thought itself. After that kiss though Tommy dared to hope that it wouldn’t be that bad.

“What are you thinking about with such a troubled expression?” he suddenly heard Sutan’s voice and his tall friend gracefully sat down next to him on the sofa in the next moment.

“My wedding night,” he grunted.

“Oh, kinky!” Sutan giggled crossing his long and smooth legs, but looked more serious when it didn’t move Tommy. “Everything’ll be fine. Prince Adam looks like a good man.”

“I don’t like him.”

“And why is that?” he raised a painted eyebrow and Tommy had to look away from the curious and at the same time understanding look.

“He’s a dick,” he snorted.

“Is this still about that kiss?” he sighed. As Sutan was his best friend and one of the very few people he trusted, he told him nearly everything so he knew about the kiss too.

“Kinda. And the fact that he tricked me into it. What if he’s a sneaky bastard?”

“Honey, even if he is, I think you’ll be able to take care of yourself. You have more fire in you than you know and outsmarting him shouldn’t be so hard for you.”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that once we get to their kingdom, I’ll have to sleep with him. I don’t like the idea. I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Of course you can,” Sutan put a graceful hand on his shoulder and squeezed it friendly. “Maybe thinking of it as a casual lay would help. The responsibilities of your status are a mood-killer for sure, but it’s not like you’d have to sacrifice babies or something.”

“Just my pride. I’m not a big fan of being humiliated.”

“I know, honey. But you can choose not to be the victim here. You can take control of the situation.”

“You think so? And how am I supposed to do that? I doubt that he’d let me take control over him and I hate the idea that there’ll be a stranger to witness the whole thing too,” he sighed. He was talking about the custom that at least two witnesses had to be there in the room with the new royal pair who could prove in the morning that the marriage was consecrated. He found it a stupid custom as it was made for kings and queens from the opposite sex, something about the importance of continuing the royal bloodlines. Not that either of them would be able to produce an heir… So yeah, he thought it was stupid forcing it on them, but it seemed that for the Desert, traditions – even the pointless ones – were more important. Tommy only agreed to one person from each kingdom. His choice was Sutan, whom he’d take with him to live and serve in their new home, because he needed a friendly and familiar face around. He thought he chose well as he knew Sutan well and they were very close, although they never had sex before. They were only close friends even if he was Tommy’s servant and he saw Tommy naked plenty of times as usually it was Sutan who prepared him for the events where he had to show up as the crown prince.

“You cannot know that until you get there. Maybe you should stop avoiding the prince and talk about your worries to him? Set your limits and boundaries?” he suggested.

“What? And give him something he can use against me? Hell no.”

“Tommy…” Sutan shook his head “When will you learn that not everything is about enemies and tricks and waiting for attacks? Clearly you haven’t been in love before…” he sighed and stood up to put the scented oils from a basket on a table close to the bed. “Besides, I think, for the first time in your life – if you let him close – there’d be someone who could take care of you, protect you and you could finally relax for a change,” he rolled his eyes.

“You know I haven’t been in love. I thought I was, but I have never been,” he shrugged and he knew he could’ve got pissed at his friend but he could never stay angry at Sutan for long and he had a point, even if Tommy didn’t want to admit it to himself.

“I know, sweetie. And you know what? I think you are just having the pre-marriage freak out. I saw it plenty of times. No wonder, tomorrow will be the big day. Which means that you have to get to bed early and have your beauty sleep,” he put his hands on his hips and looked strict enough for Tommy not to try to object.

“Yes, mother…” he sighed and put his guitar down with care. It was definitely going with them to his new home. He took off his tunic on his way and handed it over to Sutan. He only let his undergarment on before he walked to the bowl on the nightstand that Sutan just filled with fresh water. Tommy washed his face and took the soft towel his friend offered to dry his face. “I hope you won’t tuck me in otherwise I’ll really feel as a child.”

“No, no tucking in or good night kisses,” Sutan chuckled softly as he closed the darker and heavier curtains on the tall windows of Tommy’s room. A few were open to let the cooler night breeze in which was a relief after the hot day. Tommy could only imagine how much hotter it’d be in the capital of his soon-to-be kingdom.

“Thank the gods,” he sighed and tried to force a small smile on his face as he lay back in bed and pulled the light cover over him.

The tall man’s smile mirrored his and he blew out the candles and stopped for a moment before leaving for the night. “If I may say so, I think he confuses you because he’s different from the other lovers you had. Don’t make things harder for yourself. This can be a good thing, so just… give him a chance. For your own sake too,” he said and left.

Tommy had no chance to reply but maybe it was better that way. Maybe Sutan was right. Tommy couldn’t tell but he was very glad that his friend was coming with him to this new chapter in his life. And who knows, maybe Tommy was just overdramatizing things in fear of the unknown. He believed that the new day would give him at least a few answers to his countless questions.


	3. Benedictus

**Chapter 3  
Benedictus**

 

The sunrise found Tommy standing on his balcony as he rested his slightly shaking hands on the stone balustrade. He barely slept that night which was no shock to him because he often had problems with getting some sleep. Knowing what was coming just in a few hours didn’t help either. He was watching the sun rising on the horizon until his tired eyes started burning and watering up from the bright light. Tommy pressed his lips and teeth together and tried to remain calm. Sutan would be there soon to run a scented bath for him and start preparing him for the big day.

Tommy wanted the balcony to crash down so his beloved ocean could swallow him up. Every bit of his body wanted to bolt, run away and never come back, but he knew he was too much of a coward to let his father and the kingdom down. Fucking arranged marriages. He sighed and walked back into his room only in his undergarment and took his guitar to try playing some songs he wrote in hope of calming down enough to be able to live through this day.

“Up so early?” he heard Sutan’s familiar voice from the door. He knew Tommy usually slept in because of his crazy sleeping schedule but one look at the pale face with the dark circles under his eyes made the servant understand the situation. He instructed a small woman he brought with himself to put the prince’s breakfast on the table and start making the bathwater. She did what was requested from her in silence, bowing to Tommy before she put his food on the nearby table.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged and looked at the silver tray with bread, cheese, fruits and a pitcher of red wine. He wasn’t particularly hungry so he turned back to his guitar and continued the melody that was stuck in his mind since dawn.

“No, no. No more playing. Eat. You’ll need your strength today, honey,” Sutan hurried over and gently took the instrument from Tommy’s hands and ushered him to the table before he could open his mouth to protest.

“Fine...,” he sighed resigned and ran a hand through his messy blond hair “How long will it take until I get out from under your hands?” he asked picking up a piece of bread and started munching on it while his other hand poured from the wine in the silver chalice.

“Long! What were you thinking?” Sutan turned back from the bed which he just made and lay out Tommy’s tunic for the ceremony and all the accessories he’ll put on later. “I have to work my very best magic on you today, Tommy. You look half-dead and paler than the ghosts in your beloved books.”

“It’s just that… I’ve imagined my wedding day completely different,” he mumbled letting his hair fall into his eye to hide behind it. He cast his eyes down into his plate and pushed a grape around with a finger. “I thought I’d be madly in love with some princess from whatever kingdom or house. I thought we’d live here, have children and go to war if needed… Instead of this…”

“… instead of this you’ll have a smoking hot husband and live in an exciting and wild kingdom, have lots of sex and maybe kids one day. You know how it goes between male rulers. Not to mention that protecting the two kingdoms will give you an opportunity to fight too, you know. Try not to see it from such a dark angle. Most people would be happy with this arrangement too. You could have it much worse. Now stop brooding and eat so I can start washing you squeaky clean. You’ll be fine,” he winked at him but Tommy could see that Sutan was serious and tired of all the moaning about his fate. He was probably right, but that didn’t help on the prince’s mood. Still he obeyed and ate some more, although he rather made sure that a chalice of wine was with him at all times until the ceremony. Maybe it’d help him relax more.

By the time Sutan was finished bathing him, adjusting the ends of his fringe with a scissor, shaving the other side of his head and putting on the make up he had in mind, Tommy had a nice buzz going on in his head, although he tried not to show that or the way his hands were still shaking. When instructed he stood up and let Sutan dress him in the white tunic with silver and blue ornaments and put the necklaces, bracelets and rings on him too. Looking into a full-length mirror he had to admit that he looked good. His hair puffed up just the way Tommy liked it, heavy eye-shadow and light colored balm on his lips to leave the focus on his eyes. As he looked at his own mouth for a moment he let himself wander if the kiss he’d share in front of everyone would have the same effect on him like the one on the beach. He quickly shook his head and banished the thought as he stroked down the soft fabric on his chest.

“Ready?” Sutan asked softly and he only hesitated for a second before nodding.

“Let’s get over with this,” Tommy sighed and drank the rest of his wine.

 ***

He felt like an idiot on display. He’s got used to it that people watched his every step since he’s been the heir apparent for the throne since he was born. Now, eighteen years later he was walking down the aisle like some blushing bride. He should’ve been the one waiting by the stairs that led up to the thrones, not his very soon to be husband, who – he had to admit – looked breathtakingly handsome.

The dark-haired prince had the same kind of sleeveless white tunic on, but instead of silver and blue his was decorated with gold and black. The golden sandals’ straps swirled around the prince’s calves and reached up to the back of his knees and he was wearing the same amount of golden jewels as Tommy did from silver. The most prominent was the golden skeleton key in his neck. As Tommy got closer he could see that his makeup was flawless, too. The amazingly blue eyes were painted with black, forming the all-seeing eye symbol from the flag. He looked stunning and suddenly Tommy’s throat went dry and he blushed again as his pulse quickened. But of course it was because of the wine and the insane pressure on his thin shoulders.

He managed to reach his spot without tripping and stopped stiffly before the high priests of the two realms. Tommy knew they both will do the ceremony in equal measures to satisfy the expectations of both nations. He fixed his eyes on them, not daring to look at Prince Adam but he could still feel his piercing eyes on him until the priest of his own land greeted the gathering.

“No prince or princess charming barging in to snatch you away from me?” he suddenly heard Prince Adam’s low question and hiding his shock Tommy had to look at him from the corner of his eye just to make sure he heard it right. The cocky half-grin on the taller man’s face was good enough evidence.

“Shut up! This isn’t about me,” he huffed getting disapproving glares from both priests as it came out a bit louder than he intended. Of course it made Adam chuckle low.

“Glad that you finally realized that, Prince Thomas,” he replied then focused on what the priest of the Desert was saying.

Tommy just snorted while he couldn’t believe he was about to marry this man. He closed out all the high-sounding speech that was given about the importance of this marriage for both realms. He heard it enough and frankly he was too pissed at the moment to care. He put on a neutral expression and tried to ignore Adam as long as he could. He stretched his hand out and put it on top of the prince’s when asked and watched as the priests wove a silk band around their touching hands. Actually it consisted of two bands – a blue and a golden one – sawn into one by the middle, symbolizing the merging of the two royal houses within this marriage. That was a custom Tommy actually found kinda nice and he was rather thinking about this than the touch of the hot skin under his own hand or the floral and spicy scent of the prince seeping into his nose.

“You are now bound together by the realms. It is time for both of you to strengthen this union with your vows. Prince Adam from the Land of the Desert…,” the priest trailed off and waved towards the addressed. The band wasn’t too tight so they could turn enough to face each other for the vows and now Tommy had no other choice than to meet those damned blue eyes.

“I, Adam Mitchel Lambert, crown prince of the Land of the Desert herby take you, Thomas Joseph Ratliff, crown prince of the Land of the Sea as my equal husband. I will rule on your side, be your king the way you will be mine. I pledge my loyalty and love to you and your kingdom in sickness and health, in peace and war. May our union bring benediction, peace and love to our lands and joined life,” he finished and this time Tommy couldn’t see any mockery in those blue eyes. He was either serious or a very good actor, because for a moment Tommy found himself believing him.

He quickly blinked and concentrated as it was his turn to tell the same vow: “I, Thomas Joseph Ratliff, crown prince of the Land of the Sea herby take you, Adam Mitchel Lambert, crown prince of the Land of the Desert as my equal husband. I will rule on your side, be your king the way you will be mine. I pledge my loyalty and love to you and your kingdom in sickness and health, in peace and war. May our union bring benediction, peace and love to our lands and joined life.”

“You can put the rings on each other now,” the Sea priest instructed and held out a silver tray with two rings in front of their bound hands. Tommy offered his free left hand for Adam as he pulled the golden ring that had snake-like blue and black ropes twisting around each other and the ring itself. Tommy moved his bound hand a little to get access to Adam’s fingers and repeated the procedure, sliding the exact copy of his own ring on the thicker but slender finger. The priest waited until they both looked up at him. “As our traditions at the Land of the Sea say, these rings are the tokens of your vows to each other. Wear them with pride and the blessings of the Sea and the royal house of the Ratliffs,” he announced so everyone could hear then stepped back to give room for the priest of the Desert.

The other man was holding a thin brush and a small bowl with black paint in it. “Prince Adam, please do the honor of giving your husband the token of your vow in our tradition,” he said and handed the brush to the dark-haired man.

They faced each other again and Tommy watched as Adam dipped the brush in the paint then pressed it against Tommy’s forehead. It kinda tickled his skin but he stayed still while he painted that black eye between Tommy’s eyes. “Herby I promise to teach you to the secret and ancient knowledge of the royal house of the Lamberts that is known to very few. May this painting open your third eye and see the world from a different, wiser perspective,” he said and now Tommy could clearly tell that Adam meant and believed every word. The blond prince had no real idea what that ancient knowledge was about, he only heard rumors. Learning about this mysterious part of his future was at least something he was looking forward to.

Once Adam was finished painting the eye on his forehead Tommy automatically thanked for it as it was expected from him, but he wasn’t paying much attention to what he was saying as he was still studying Adam’s expression. Clearly he was a believer and it intrigued Tommy, he couldn’t deny that. He was dragged back by the voice of the Sea priest who was already holding the crown he was going to get.

“The crown of the Land of Sea is the symbol not only of being a king but of the responsibilities that title brings with it. Prince Thomas, from the day you were born you have been raised to live up to this title and those responsibilities. From this day on, we shall no longer call you the crown prince of our land but our king. Wear this crown with pride, wisdom and health,” the priest said and finally put the crown on his head. It was a silver crown from vines that looked like the waves of the sea. A number of smaller greenish-blue Aquamarine stones were fitted in the curves all around and one bigger at the front. It was heavier than he remembered from the fitting. Probably because of the responsibilities the priest was preaching about and made Tommy lightly squirm. He reached up with his free hand to pull his fringe free and by the time he finished Adam got his crown too with a similar speech the other priest held. That one Tommy found breathtaking too. On the forehead a female figure was spreading her wings, behind the wings two snakes ran around Adam’s head and the snake heads came up from behind the wings. In the middle it had more swirling snakes and colorful stones surrounding the skeleton key. Under it a pendant of that eye was resting on Adam’s forehead on the same spot Tommy’s painted eye was.

“And now the kiss…,” the priest of the Sea waved for them.

Tommy swallowed hard as suddenly his mouth went dry. He knew this part would come and that he shouldn’t feel so embarrassed about the kiss – it’s not as if they had to have sex in front of everyone – but he remembered that first kiss on the beach and part of him wanted this to be like that too. He didn’t protest when Adam slid his free hand on his nape and pulled him closer. He tilted Tommy’s head to the right angle, piercing blue eyes holding Tommy’s captive until it was hard to focus and both of them closed their eyes, lips brushing. It was a chaste and short kiss but Tommy’s body reacted immediately by making his knees weak and his heart skip a beat. He could feel his face burning under the layers of powder. How was it possible that this kiss felt like liquid fire on his lips too? Saying that he was confused again was an understatement, but he tried to push his thoughts and emotions to the back of his mind as he pulled back and they both faced the gathering.

Both priests turned to the sea of people as well and said in union: “Hereby, we announce the new kings of the united Lands of the Desert and the Sea!”

The crowd started cheering, of course, and from the corner of his eye Tommy saw a small smile playing on Prince Adam’s… no, King Adam’s, his husband’s face. He didn’t know how to feel about that or in general and soon he just went numb and let things blur as he retreated into his own world. He let the priests free their hands and Adam lead him through the great hall watching the rose petals showering down on them. He walked with him to the dining hall where all the long tables were set and he took his seat next to his new husband in the middle of the royals’ table (which was square to the other tables) from where they could see as people followed and also sat down. His mind was still somewhat numb when their families came over too and congratulated them. Tommy replied when he was asked, smiled when expected, shook hands, bowed his head, but he wasn’t really there. It was kind of an ‘out of body experience,’ even if he was still in his body.

They were already through the soup and the first course and Tommy still didn’t really have an appetite. He preferred sipping from his wine that always got discreetly refilled by a servant. His mind was still wandering as he was observing the eating mass of people. It was clear to see that the people from his own kingdom were already mingling with the newcomers.

“You haven’t been really here since the ceremony. Where’s your head at, Thomas?” he suddenly heard from his left and it took a second for him to come back to reality and turn his head. Of course it was Adam resting his forearm on the armrest and leaning closer to him.

“Nowhere,” he shrugged and turned back to his plate, taking a small bite from the tuna dish, which was one of his favorites.

Adam stayed silent for a long moment but didn’t let it drop. “I’m curious. What were you thinking?”

“How surreal all of this is,” he gave in somehow feeling that Adam wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave him some kind of an answer.

“Why?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. You know my opinion about this wedding,” he said flatly.

“Yeah… you made it painfully clear,” Adam sighed and Tommy could feel him turn away. He could’ve sworn he’d heard some disappointment in his voice, but he didn’t turn to check.

It stuck with him for the rest of the night and he noticed that Adam didn’t try to start another conversation with him. Adam stayed on his side as they watched the attractions the people of the kingdoms prepared for them. There was music, there were dancers, even a short play about the history of the two kingdoms. Tommy watched them calmly and forced a small smile on his face a few times. He wanted out of there but he didn’t want to seem rude either so he sucked it up and stayed until he felt it was okay to retreat to his chambers.

He did so after he watched Adam dance with his mother and a few others on the dancing area that was kept clear in front of the royals’ table. Tommy stood and walked over to his father and the now former king of the Desert and excused himself first from them before heading to Queen Leila, Prince Neil and his new husband to bid them a good night saying that the day’d exhausted him. They nodded and wished him a good rest. They didn’t object as they all knew that they’d leave early in the morning. As Tommy turned to walk away he caught Adam’s dark look and he was glad that at least that night he didn’t have to share his room and bed with him. But time was ticking away, he knew well.

After Sutan helped him undress and clean up he was left alone and he was just standing on the balcony of his room. He didn’t know when he’d be able to take in the familiar sight of the sea again and he caught himself drinking in the details. He knew it’d be hard to say goodbye to the land where he grew up in the morning and his heart was aching. That uneasy feeling got stronger in his stomach because of the unknown. He’d have to take a leap of faith and face his new life the following day and he could only hope that it was a good future lying ahead of him.

\---------

 **Note:** Thank you all for the comments and kudos so far, it means a lot!  <3  
For that (and because I finally had some inspiration to do it) I made a front and back cover to the story's soundtrack. You can check it out **[HERE](http://uselessgirl101.livejournal.com/79925.html)**. I hope you'll like it.  
Gonna try to update every Monday ;) (And sorry for doing it like this AO3 didn't want to do the end note my way.)


	4. Stranger in a Strange Land

**Chapter 4**

**Stranger in a Strange Land**

Bright and early in the morning they were on their way to the harbor. Tommy was glad that they wouldn’t travel through the land because in that case it’d take at least a week to get to the other kingdom. Traveling on his beloved sea only took two days along the coastline and it was at least something familiar to him. He suspected that very few of familiar things would come his way once they arrived to Oudjat, the capital city of the Land of the Desert.

Tommy pressed his lips together and hugged his father and sister goodbye who came with her husband and kids to the wedding too. It felt unfair that they had to part so quickly and without really having some time for themselves. Lisa was probably thinking the same because she was reluctant to let her baby brother go. Her expression burned into his mind and now as he was standing on the deck leaning against the wooden railing out of everyone’s way, he recalled what she whispered to him before he got onto the Desert’s royal ship: “You’re gonna be okay, little brother.” He certainly hoped so.

In the evening he shared his dinner with the Lamberts in the back of the ship and answered Leila and Ebert’s questions, but otherwise remained silent. The brothers seemed to be engaged in a deep conversation about something Tommy wasn’t really interested in. Once dinner was over he said goodnight to the royal pair and walked back to his own people – his personal bodyguards – with Sutan on his side. He was glad that he could spend the night with them. It felt like a little piece of home which he could carry with him to that strange land. It grounded him and he felt less lost as he was listening to the stories of their travels and fights. Tommy wasn’t participating, he was sitting in the corner with his wine next to Sutan and his good friend and captain of the bodyguards, Isaac. He was a small man like himself but quick and lethal when it came to fighting. That man has saved Tommy’s life more than once and he knew that he’d be able to sleep a little better knowing that he was around. He didn’t sleep much though. Mostly he was staring at the low ceiling and thinking until the light rocking of the ship lulled him into sleep.

One and a half day later Tommy was standing on his usual spot on the deck and the moment the ship left the sea and turned to begin its journey up on the River Sesen that flows across the capital of the kingdom he felt Adam step next to him. Tommy tightened his grip on the railing but didn’t say anything. They haven’t talked since their wedding day and he knew they probably should have, but Adam gave him his space as if he felt it how badly Tommy needed it. The blond man knew that probably what was awaiting him that night would be easier if they got to know each other a bit better but he just couldn’t bring himself to seek out Adam’s company as his resolve seemed to waver every time he watched or was close to the dark-haired man.

“I love this river and not just because it makes our land prosperous. I used to swim in it a lot as a kid. Neil and I used to escape the palace and went down to the river to swim. Do you know what its name means?”

“No,” Tommy shook his head watching the millions of cane lazily bend to the will of the wind and a few merchant ships passing by on the other side of the river. He didn’t know why Adam felt the sudden urge to share his memory with him. Probably to ease Tommy up a bit.

“Sesen means Lotus. In our culture it is the symbol of the sun, creation, purity and rebirth. As seasons change and the river floods the fields near it, it leaves a fertile ground on which our people can grow our food for the summer when everything gets too hot and dry to grow,” he explained and Tommy could feel his eyes on him and this time he looked back at him nodding.

“Makes sense. What does the name of your capital, Oudjat means then?” he asked quietly and let his eyes linger on the honest smile on Adam’s lips. From this close Tommy could see all the freckles which were hidden by the makeup before.

“It means this,” he lifted his right arm and stroked his long fingers along a colorful tattoo of that certain all-seeing eye just under the skeleton key. “It symbolizes protection against evil and the bringing of wisdom too. You’ll see what I’m talking about. Our capital is a friendly city which offers protection for those in need and there are a lot of teachers there to keep people’s mind open and educated.”

Tommy only nodded and thought about those words for a moment. “What is the secret knowledge your family knows then? Will you share it with me some time?” he asked and looked Adam in the eye.

The freckled man’s small smile returned and he calmly put a hand on the railing not far from Tommy’s hand. “Thomas, you are my husband now. With that you became part of our culture and with time I’ll teach you everything I know, if you want it. Do you want that?”

Tommy licked his dry lips unwittingly and turned the words inside his head. Did he want that? He had to admit to himself that Adam’s culture – as much as he knew about it – piqued his interest as Tommy liked myths and legends. Those kinds of books were his favorite since his childhood and it seemed that marrying a foreign prince gave him the opportunity to learn a whole new set of legends and secret teachings that would make his time in Oudjat more interesting than he’d hoped.

“Yes,” he answered finally and turned back to the water “I’d love that.”

“I thought so,” Adam smiled wider and followed the shorter man’s example with watching the river and the surrounding prosperous lands as they continued sailing towards the capital city. The tall man experimentally slid his hand closer to Tommy’s as clearly he didn’t want to push himself on him, but he liked the lighter atmosphere between them.

Tommy realized his attempt to touch in a few moments as he looked down at Adam’s much bigger hand, fingertips lightly touching the back of the slim hand. The blond man swallowed hard from the tingling feeling the simple touch caused but didn’t pull his hand away as he watched a few fishermen stand in their slim boats and bow to the royal ship they were on. Before Tommy’s thoughts could’ve dragged him deeper into his mind he heard Adam’s soft whisper, which sounded more like a wish than a request.

“We are good people, my family and subjects, you’ll see. I just wish you could open up your mind and give a chance to them… and me. I want to be a good husband to you and a good king for our kingdoms. Please, think about that,” he finished with a light squeeze on Tommy’s hand before falling silent.

“I don’t promise anything, but I will think about it,” Tommy whispered and let Adam’s hand rest on top of his.

“Thank you,” he nodded and both of them watched in silence as their ship followed a curve of the river and suddenly the green fields were replaced by simple looking mud houses, which were getting bigger, more colorful and expensive looking as they followed the river upwards.

As Tommy let his eyes wander he saw some bigger buildings in the distance too. The most imposing was built on the side of a hill that was covered by palm trees and rocks and he instantly knew that he was looking at his new home. The building was painted white, had a big dome in the middle, which was painted with golden, blue and brown. The walls were decorated with the same colors and as they got closer Tommy could make out huge paintings of gods and goddesses, animals, plants and all that Tommy was sure held important significance in the Desert’s culture. One certain motif repeated also all over on the other richer houses of the city spreading on both sides of the river: that black eye.

“Oudjat,” he heard Adam’s voice next to him and Tommy could hear the happiness and pride as the new king of the land was returning to his throne. As he squinted to the side he saw that Adam’s clear blue eyes were sparkling and the blond man couldn’t suppress a small smile at that. Adam truly loved his land and people, he could already see that. And maybe he was right. Maybe he should lower his guard a tiny bit and take in all the presents and opportunities this marriage offered him.

***

Tommy was sitting next to Adam in a palanquin that was big enough so they could be comfortable without touching. The light but richly decorated curtains were pulled back now so he could look at the city and its people just as much as he was looked at by them. A small smile could be seen in the corner of his mouth as they were bowing, waving and cheering for them while moving along the gathered people on both side of the road. The royal guards kept everyone back and secured their travel to the palace. He waved back a few times after he saw that Adam was doing the same.

“Your formal introduction and our announcement as new kings will happen when night falls. The palace will host a feast for the people after that ceremony,” Adam said softly as he turned back to Tommy and took his hand in his. Tommy didn’t pull it back but didn’t squeeze either. He knew that it was partly for the eyes that were watching their every move.

Tommy nodded and left his eyes on Adam’s face that had a calm expression on it. He guessed it was the former prince’s mask that he put on when he had to be a prince and well, from now on a king. Adam returned his look and went on, talking on a softer and quieter voice. “After dinner we can retreat to our chambers with the witnesses.”

The last sentence made Tommy nervous and uncomfortable again as he knew Adam was talking about Sutan and his chosen person who’d be there in their royal bedroom to watch their marriage being consecrated. “I understand,” Tommy nodded and looked at the happy faces on the street again “but make sure we’ll have a few minutes for ourselves some time. I have to talk to clear a few things with you before anything happens between the sheets.”

“As you wish, King Thomas,” Adam replied after a few moments and turned back to his people too and they didn’t talk for the rest of their way to the palace.

Soon they got out of the palanquin by the painted stairs that led up to the first of several levels of the palace. From this close it looked huge as it towered over them and Tommy guessed it continued into the hill behind. In the circle of the royal guards Tommy followed the former king and queen, Adam on his side and Neil behind them. There were guards, people and servants standing along the way as they climbed the stairs, following a black carpet. Huge golden banners and flags with the black skeleton key and eye were moved in the light breeze over their heads. Countless white blossoms were lying by their feet and Tommy could smell their faint scent under the hot summer. He kept silent but let his eyes wander to take in his new surroundings, his new home.

It was nothing like the Land of the Sea, but he found it fascinating despite the sand that sometimes got into his eyes or made it a bit difficult to breathe when the hot breeze brought it in their way. He saw several statues of a winged female figure and the skeleton key and eye symbol popped up all over too. They climbed another set of stairs, tall palm trees lining on both sides of the stairs and now he could set his brown eyes on the opening huge black doors of the palace which were decorated with golden figures and symbols he wasn’t familiar with yet.

He’s got so lost in drinking in the sights of his surroundings that Adam had to take hold of his forearm to stop him from bumping into Eber as they stopped in a long room that stretched in front of them with painted columns on both side. As Tommy glimpsed up he could see paintings not just on the walls and the columns but even on the ceiling. There were unlit torches on each column, although the sunlight that came through hidden windows from above and balconies from both sides lit the hall now. He was sure that when night fell the torches’ flames would dance on the golden paints all around.

“Welcome to your new home, King Thomas,” Tommy heard Eber’s voice and he refocused on the former king. “This is the throne room,” he waved towards the far end of the hall where a few steps led up to two golden and black thrones. “Your introduction and the formal coronation will happen here in a few hours. I hope you’ll be pleased and happy here with us until you and Adam will return to the Land of the Sea.”

“Thank you for the warm welcome, King Eber…” Tommy hesitated for a second, not knowing how to address him then frowned “…but sorry, I’m confused. Why would we return to Thalassa?” he asked about his land’s capital from where they’ve just arrived and which’s name meant ‘sea’.

Eber frowned too and exchanged a knowing look with his queen, who answered Tommy’s question instead “What did you think, Tommy? That we’ll ‘lock you away’ here for the rest of your life?” she smiled kindly and took one of Tommy’s hands in her warm ones “We wanted to wait with this until the crowning ceremony, but I think we can share this with you. Before the wedding we agreed with your father that you and Adam will spend half or one year here and then back in your home land so you both will be clear with the happenings in both kingdoms. Of course you’ll have connections, trusted people who’ll report you at all times, but we thought it’d be just fair to make this agreement as our kingdoms are now joined.”

“My wife speaks the truth, Tommy. And please call me Eber from now on.”

“Thank you Eber, Leila,” he looked confused at them then at Adam “Did you know about this?”

“Not at all,” he shook his head and by the surprised expression and voice Tommy was pretty sure he was telling him the truth.

“And what do you think about this arrangement?” the blond king asked, trying to appear neutral. He had to admit to himself that it was a kind of a test.

“I’m happy with it as I know it’ll make you happy and less stressed out,” he flashed a white smile at him. “Besides, it wouldn’t be fair that only you had the opportunity to learn everything about a new culture. I want to do the same with yours!”

“Always eager to learn, my boy,” Eber chuckled and squeezed Adam’s shoulder and Tommy could feel himself relax some more. Adam was right, he was happy about this news. “Of course the extent of your stay at the kingdoms may vary according to the current situation of the kingdoms. We have to keep the threat in the south in mind and be able to mobilize our ships and troops to defend the Desert and the Sea at all times,” Eber continued letting Adam’s shoulder go as he looked more serious at the young kings, but before he could get deeper into the topic Leila stepped in front of him and took both Tommy’s and Adam’s hand in hers.

“But enough of that for now. This is your day, so enjoy it. Adam’ll show you your chambers. Go, get cleaned up, rest and eat something if you are hungry. The ceremony will start at sundown. Tommy, your servant is already in your chambers and as I see, your bodyguard takes his job seriously too,” she glanced at Isaac hovering nearby “although I don’t think he’ll have to worry much about your safety in the palace. But of course we have no objections against looking over you,” she smiled kindly and let their hands go.

“Thank you, Leila, Eber,” Tommy repeated and bowed to them before he turned to Adam expectantly.

“See you later, father, mother,” Adam bowed too with a huge grin on his face. He seemed more relaxed now that he was at home again, that was clear. “This way, husband,” he said on a slightly teasing tone and Tommy had to sigh and roll his eyes but he followed him nonetheless while trying to ignore the flip of his stomach knowing where they were headed.

***

Their chambers were actually a whole level of the palace high over the city. Only two other smaller levels were over them with the dome of the sacred temple as Tommy knew by now. The walls and floors were richly decorated with golds, blacks, blues, browns and whites just like the rest of the palace. Their “floor” was shaped in an L. The longer stem of that L was an open and wide corridor with columns to the right that led to the royal bedroom just over the corner. A nice warm breeze moved the soft gold and white curtains that swept the marble floor and kept the insects out. Tommy saw heavy black drapes tied to the columns probably functioning as shades against the sun when sleep was needed. There was a huge bed with white linen by the wall to the left, facing the rest of the room. The headboard was black but the carved figures on it were painted with the same colors he’d seen all over the palace.

Turning to the rest of the room he saw comfortable-looking lithe sofas and armchairs, colorful carpets, potted plants and candelabras all around. Some of the sofas and chairs were facing the huge windows between the painted pillars. Tommy was curious and waved to Sutan and nodded to a black servant girl, who bowed to them with a smile. Adam walked to her to exchange a few quiet words while Tommy stepped between two columns and put his hands on the stone balustrade between them. The light breeze made his fringe play around his face as he looked outside and saw the rest of their living quarters which consisted of a long pool filled with sparkling water that reflected the blue of the sky. It was surrounded by a line of palm trees on both sides and there were sunshades, sofas and deck chairs all around it.

“Wow,” Tommy whispered to himself and jumped a little as he heard the voice of Adam from behind.

“You like it, Thomas?” he smiled down at him.

“Tommy. And it’s beautiful. Especially the view,” he mumbled turning back to look down into the valley. He could see most of Oudjat from where he was standing. He saw all the levels of the palace too and he liked the small green gardens with fountains and sculptures that could be found on nearly every floor. As he looked further he saw the brownish blue stripe of River Sesen stretch across the city, lithe boats and ships carrying their loads on it. Behind the valley Tommy could see the endless dunes of sand. He brushed his fringe behind his ear although most of it fell right back into his face. He wiped some sweat off his forehead and turned back to Adam.

“I love it here as well. You’ll soon get used to the heat too. At nights it gets much cooler. If you want a bath, Sasha can prepare you one or you can just freshen yourself up. There’s a bowl of fresh water and towels next to the bed. I’ll be back later. I have some things to do before the ceremony. Once you are done we can go outside to the pool and talk,” he said softly and Tommy nodded as he turned back to the inside of the room.

“Thank you. I’ll take that bath,” he said more to the servant in a light white dress and golden bracelets which stood out nicely on her dark skin. She nodded with a smile and bowed before she went to prepare the bath in an adjacent atrium where a pool was sunk into the floor and getting filled with clear water. “I’ll see you later then, Adam,” he turned back to his husband then watched him walk away.

Sighing he turned to Sutan who was already standing by his side with a huge grin on his handsome face. “What?”

“This place is amazing, Tommy. And he’s a good catch,” he winked “You seem more at ease around him. Which is a good thing, if you ask me.”

“I’m not,” he sighed knowing that his friend would speak his mind anyway. “But I do find this place interesting. It’ll be exciting to discover it whenever we won’t be on kings’ duty,” he said quietly as he took his bracelets and rings off and put them into a golden tray nearby. He watched male servants enter with his luggage and place his trunks into the corner for now. Meanwhile Sasha, along with a few other female servants, was filling the bath for him. Sutan helped with his tunic and the rest of his jewels. “And we talked a little with Adam. Maybe he isn’t as bad as I’ve assumed.”

“Honey, I’m pretty good at reading people and you two are a good match. Believe me,” he winked again then they both turned to the approaching female.

“Your Majesty, your bath is ready. Do you need anything else?” she asked with a slight bow.

“No, thank you Sasha. You can go.”

“Thank you, your Majesty. If you need anything, I’ll be nearby and there’s a servant by the door at all times.”

“Thank you,” he repeated and let her go. Dropping the rest of his clothes he walked to the atrium, not minding Sutan at all, who was picking up his clothes and folding them then busied himself with unloading Tommy’s belongings.

The new king was still thinking about Sutan’s words as he sank into the nice jasmine-scented water, but he let the quiet noises of the city below relax him. He was tired and didn’t want to think about the ceremony and what was coming after that. He stopped those thoughts the moment he saw the enormous bed. Luckily Sutan knew him enough to know when to stay quiet and he did exactly that while packing. Tommy slid underwater to wet his hair and wash out the salty smell of the sea and the sand of the road. _One step at a time_ , he told himself and he felt the starting panic ease up as his senses were lulled by the warmth and scent of the water.

Adam’d returned by the time Tommy was dressed in a short tunic that left his legs and tattooed arms free. He was eating some fruits by the pool.

“Mind if I join you?” he smiled down at Tommy who just shrugged so Adam sat down opposite him.

“You seem awfully cheerful,” Tommy stole a glimpse through his fringe.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’ve missed this place and the people. So…” he leaned forward to steal some date-plum from the bowl Tommy’s been eating from “what did you want to talk about, Tommy?” he asked curious.

The blond man felt the blood rush to his cheeks and he just hated his pale skin now as it showed beautifully. “About tonight. The bedding,” he cleared his throat and risked a look at Adam, whose grin just got wider. That pissed Tommy off a little and it was good. It was a feeling he knew how to use so he held on to it instead of playing the role of the blushing virgin. “Don’t look so smug.”

“Alright, sorry. You know that we can’t put it off any longer… So what about it?” Adam asked as he took a bite from the date.

“I know. I wanted to clear a few things with you,” Tommy sighed again as he collected his thoughts and himself too. “From that kiss on the beach I take you like to have control in bed, like to be the dominant party. Correct?”

“Correct,” Adam nodded looking more serious and Tommy felt a wave of relief wash over him seeing that he wasn’t grinning like an idiot anymore. “But I’ve bottomed before. I do that only when I’ve been with that partner for a while and I trust him completely.”

To that Tommy raised a brow, but he didn’t comment on that. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m no virgin when it comes to having a male lover, but I’ve never bottomed before… and I thought you should know. I like to be in control too. Especially when I don’t know or trust my partner well…”

“Interesting. I’d have never guessed,” he said genuinely surprised. “So this means you don’t trust me, Tommy?”

“Not yet. I barely know you.”

“That’s true. But what do your instincts say?”

“My instincts?” he raised a brow again.

“Yes. Your instincts. I thought you agreed on giving me a chance to prove that I’m worthy for your trust and as far as I know, I didn’t give you a reason yet not to… That kiss on the beach was testing the waters and for fun. I liked it a lot. I liked that you fought back.”

“Really?”

“Really. Look, if you are afraid that I’d do something that you wouldn’t like, I can assure you that I won’t. I have plenty of experience in bed and I can make it very good for you. The only question is if you’d let me. Or rather would you want to try handing the control over?”

“Blowing each other won’t consecrate our marriage, will it?” he asked hopeful, although he already knew the answer.

“I’m afraid it wouldn’t,” Adam chuckled softly as he shook his head and ate the rest of the date, watching him. “You really are nervous about this. Why?”

Tommy popped a grape in his mouth and chewed it slowly as he tried to decide whether he should answer the question or not. Seeing Adam’s open and curious expression he shrugged. “I never dared to fully hand control over. You were a crown prince too, so I’m guessing you were taught never to lower your guard. Or at least I was taught like that. And someone tried to top me before without my consent. He was stopped and dealt with on the spot.”

“I see…” he nodded understanding what Tommy was saying then reached out to fill a golden goblet with some sweet wine. He took a sip and put his forehand on the table. “Look, Tommy, I know I’ll have to earn your trust. I get it, you like to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. I respect that and I prefer my partners in bed willing too. If it’d make you feel better, you can come up with a safe word or something that’d stop me completely. To hell with the expectations and laws. I don’t want to force you into anything that you don’t want to do, because…”

“… because?” Tommy licked his lips curious to know the reason and why Adam suddenly started blushing.

“…because my mother was right. You _are_ exactly my type and without wanting to scare you off or something… I’m drawn to you. You intrigue me and I want you to be comfortable around me and yes… I’d really want to top you, if you let me. I give you my word that you won’t regret it, if you say yes.”

Tommy went silent for a long time, considering what Adam just said. He seemed to understand his situation and seeing that made the small blond relax some more. He knew that most of all he had to search himself and decide what _he_ wanted and what he’d dare to try. Was he ready to give in like this? He surely should as it was clear Adam wanted their night to be enjoyable and successful. If that happened, everyone would be pleased, not just the two of them. He took a deep breath and laced his fingers together on his lap. “Vortex,” he said on a determined voice “that’s my safe word and my answer is yes. I want to try it with you. I’ve told you that I’m trying and I trust you enough by now to believe that you’ll stop. Besides, Sutan would help me too. He’s not as soft and kind as he might appear,” he smirked and Adam visibly relaxed too, returning the smirk.

“I thought so. Thank you for your trust,” he nodded towards Tommy. “Can I ask you why you’ve decided to say yes?”

“Let’s just say that you intrigue me too,” he shrugged again and sipped from his own wine.

“Fair enough,” Adam chuckled.

“But I don’t want to stretch it too long. I’m not a big fan of being watched by strangers in bed.”

“No problem, Tommy.”

He nodded and watched Adam for a long minute before returning to finish eating his light meal. His chest felt less heavy and he was very glad that they were finally over this conversation – and with less blushing than he thought he would do. But most of all, he felt relieved knowing that he could stop all of it if it got too uncomfortable.


	5. Bound by Your Wild Desires

**Chapter 5**

**Bound by Your Wild Desires**

The ceremony of introducing them as the new kings of this realm and the feast afterwards passed by in a blur for Tommy. He couldn’t remember all the faces and names of the new people he had to talk to, or rather listen to, as he was too overwhelmed on Adam’s side, a warm hand of his husband and king on the small of his back distracting him too much. It was a reminder too what was about to happen very soon and Tommy found himself eating less and drinking more from some sweet wine and a strong clear liquid that was apparently the Desert’s most popular short drink. He had no idea what it was called, but it was strong and that was what the young king needed at the moment to brace himself and give him some liquid courage.

He was fairly relaxed for the rest of the feast and in a nice haze as Adam announced for the royalties, priests and the gathered people that they would retreat for the rest of the night. Tommy heard the cheers only from a distance and he let Adam take a hold of his elbow and lead him through the countless corridors of the palace. From the corner of his eye Tommy saw Sutan and a small brunette man follow them. He guessed he was Adam’s choice to witness the consecration of their marriage.

Tommy stayed in that relaxed state of mind until the heavy black and golden doors closed shut behind them in the royal chambers and Adam put his big hand on the small of his back again. Then he couldn’t help the slight panic creep up on his throat and make the sweet taste sour in his mouth. The smell of incense and the cooling sun-kissed desert were strong in the air and Tommy’s mouth went dry as Adam led him to the enormous bed then faced him, searching his pale face.

“Relax, Tommy. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’ll only give you pleasure,” he whispered so only the two of them could hear it.

Tommy glimpsed around and saw Sutan and the guy called Brad sat on two of the armchairs to the left side of the suite. He was grateful that there were only a few oil lamps lit around the bed, leaving the rest of the chambers dark. He was sure he wouldn’t have been able to do this if he could see the faces of the other two men. His attention was drawn back to Adam when he felt his fingers slide along his jaw-line to tilt his head up.

“Do you remember your safe word?” he asked softly.

“Vortex,” he nodded and tried to swallow, but his mouth and throat were too dry. He tried to calm his racing heart with little luck.

“I’ll stop all together if you use it,” he nodded and Tommy had the urge to utter the word on the spot, but he knew he couldn’t. Besides Adam’s eyes were shining with honesty and Tommy detected a distant but massive fire burning in the depths of them. Desire.

“Yeah,” he whispered weakly.

“Another drink?” Adam smiled reassuringly and Tommy couldn’t help the faint shadow of that smile to tug on his own lips.

“Yeah,” he repeated and cursed himself for the fact that his vocabulary seemed to be reduced to single words. And for being such a coward. He’s been in the face of danger and pain before, fought for his kingdom in vicious fights and this was far from that. Still, looking into Adam’s clear blue eyes as he handed him one more from that strong drink, Tommy felt that he was facing a different kind of danger. One that had little to do with his body and more with his heart.

He knocked back the drink and let it burn his throat and warm his stomach. He felt a little hot as he let Adam take the small cup from him and step back in front of him. He slid a hand on Tommy’s nape and under his chin to tilt his head back again and brushed his freckled lips against the blonde’s plump ones. It was chaste and probing and Tommy could feel his stomach flip in a pleasant way. He let Adam slowly deepen the kiss, tongue licking the seam of his lips to ask permission and Tommy parted them, letting him inside his mouth. Adam’s fingers lightly grabbed his hair and tilted his head to the side as he was exploring, testing and maybe a little teasing too and Tommy found himself relax more into his hold. It was like on the beach that was threatening with melting his defenses, but still different. This time the passion wasn’t so urging or aggressive to prove a point, this time Adam was patient and Tommy could feel it from each move that he wanted to make this enjoyable to both of them.

Holding on to that thought he started returning the kiss and melted against Adam’s broad chest a little more. He could feel the big hands slide down on his shoulders and down on his back to cup his non-existent ass. This time Tommy couldn’t stop himself and he softly moaned into their kiss. He wasn’t even trying to fight for dominance this time as they’ve agreed on how things’d go and the blond didn’t want to make it harder to relax. That’s why he didn’t protest when Adam’s hands slid forward and opened the fine silver belt and let it land on the floor. Next the freckled hands slid up on his sides, making Tommy shiver pleasantly and he could feel his husband’s fingers slide under the light-blue fabric of his short tunic to push it off his shoulders. Tommy was very self-aware as he was standing there only in his undergarment and to distract his mind he copied Adam’s moves.

He broke the kiss and took a small step back to be able to look at the nicely toned and much bigger body in front of him as more and more sun-kissed skin was revealed. He saw an endless number of freckles and suddenly he had the urge to kiss and lick each of them. Then he realized that it wasn’t forbidden, moreover, expected to do so, so he leaned back and kissed his way down on the strong chest to one of the nipples, kissing and licking it into a hard little bud. It pulled beautiful moans out of Adam and Tommy returned a moan with his own as he could feel Adam cup his very interested cock through his undergarment.

Tommy let the burning feeling in his groins spread as he lightly rocked his hips against that beautifully big hand and this time he was the one who leaned up and kissed the man in front of him, slender fingers mapping warm smooth skin on Adam’s sides and back. The kiss was more passionate, more urging and he didn’t protest when he felt his undergarment drop around his ankles. He stepped out of them and helped Adam do the same. They were facing each other naked now and Tommy had to look down between them when their hard cocks brushed against each other.

His eyes went wide for a brief second as he saw the size of the hard meat between Adam’s thighs. He was long and thick and cut, the head of the erection was already playing in a shade of purple. The blond never saw such a big penis in his life. He was beautiful and Tommy’s mouth watered. He’d love to taste it some time, see if he could take it all, but not tonight. The sheer size of Adam made him a little anxious as he started to doubt he’d be able to take it. Only that thought made his face blush furiously and he didn’t even notice that he was already referring to next times. A sudden thought of not wanting to disappoint Adam took Tommy off-guard. Where the hell was that thought coming from? But what bothered him more was that he suddenly remembered their audience too. He cast a glance to the side but didn’t see much, just the outlines of Sutan and the other man. They didn’t even move just watched them silently. It made Tommy feel weird and the mood was getting ruined.

Adam must have sensed that because he cupped Tommy’s face in both hands and made him look up at him, wide brown eyes meeting calm blue ones. “Don’t worry, Tommy. It’ll fit and you’ll like it. Focus on me. Us,” he whispered on his swollen lips and he willed his frantic heartbeats to calm down enough to nod. He let Adam slowly lay him down on the bed and they scooted up until Tommy felt one of the dozens of black and gold pillows under his head. He leaned back and relaxed, watching Adam hover over him on all fours, his cock still rock-hard and ready. But Tommy wasn’t ready and Adam knew that.

The dark-haired man kissed him gently at first and then it turned into a passionate, hot exchange of taste and saliva as the warm body covered his. That kiss left Tommy breathless and he was back on track, keeping his focus on Adam’s actions. He closed his eyes as he felt the soft lips and tongue kiss and lick down his neck and onto his heaving chest. Long fingers were rubbing his nipples, which sent jolts of lust right to his cock, making him grow hard again. Tommy rested his hands on Adam’s back and side, lightly caressing him whenever he remembered to move his hands as he was too focused on the skilled tongue playing with his nipple. A wave of pleasure suddenly tore through his haze and a surprised yell rolled off his lips before he could stop himself once Adam bit down on the hard nub, licking the pain away in the next moment. This got repeated on his other nipple a few times too and by the time Adam was kissing and nipping at his skin on his stomach, the blonde man opened his legs willingly.

“You are beautiful… Such perfect skin,” Adam whispered hoarsely and licked and kissed Tommy’s hip bone on one side, a hand opening his legs some more.

The blond bit down on his lip from the compliment and the soft teasing then he muffled a moan as Adam licked along his cock and quickly sucked the head in his mouth. The wet warmth and the amazing moves of the tongue around him made Tommy arch his back too. His nails dug into Adam’s shoulders and he slid a hand on the back of his neck, letting them get lost in the black hair.

He let himself float in the red haze of pleasure that made his mind stop over-thinking and let himself relax enough to enjoy the blowjob he was getting. Adam certainly had practice, because he knew exactly how to make him tremble for more, but never giving too much. After Tommy was kept on the brink of orgasm more than once in the past few minutes his patience wore off and he pulled up his legs higher.

“Come on…” he panted and shivered as Adam slid off his dick with an obscene pop.

“You want more?” he asked hoarsely, fingers already pulling Tommy’s ass-cheeks apart to expose his hole.

“Yes. Don’t tease me anymore,” he tried to sound less fallen apart as he locked eyes with Adam, who studied his face for a long moment. Finally giving in he nodded and reached out for a bottle of oil. He poured a nice amount on his fingers and on Tommy’s ass too then he pushed a finger against his opening. To distract him a little Adam licked along Tommy’s balls and gently sucked them in his mouth as he slid that finger all the way in.

It tore a loud moan from the blond as it felt good. He had fingers in him before so it wasn’t so unfamiliar. Soon his body accommodated two of the thick digits and he wasn’t ashamed to move against them as in every second push they brushed against that magical spot that made Tommy see stars. He could’ve gotten off only on this, but his traitorous body silently begged for more.

The third finger slightly burned, but it was still on the good side of pain. He opened his eyes and looked down to watch Adam’s tongue lick his cock lazily while fingering and opening him up. Tommy stayed relaxed and leaving all the fears and doubts behind he clenched his ass around Adam’s fingers to get his attention.

“I’m ready… I want to feel it inside…” he panted already all flushed and sweaty and he was grateful that this time Adam didn’t make a teasing remark as he knew how hard it was for Tommy to give up control like this.

The bigger man nodded and pulled his fingers out slicking up his cock with more oil. Tommy watched him intently, mouth slightly open as anticipation rushed through his veins. He put a small pillow under his waist to keep a nice angle for the freckled man. Their eyes met for a brief second as Adam lined himself up and slowly pressed the thick head against his prepared hole. It burned more than the third finger and Tommy’s hands fisted the black silky sheets underneath as his body tensed a little.

“Keep breathing,” Adam panted and kept going steadily.

Safewording out crossed Tommy’s mind for a second but then the head breached him and was settled inside, the pressure easing up as he took the advice and took a few deep breaths. He was already feeling full, although only the head was inside yet but Adam kept going, inching himself deeper with shallow little fucks until he bottomed out and stopped, looking down to where their bodies were joined. The raw lust on his face made Tommy bite his lip again and squirm underneath. Adam looked up at him with a dark and exciting look and crawled over the blond to capture his lips in a passionate kiss, hips starting to move slowly back and forth.

Tommy’s moan was muffled by Adam’s tongue deep in his mouth and he mimicked fucking the blonde’s mouth to the same rhythm he did with his ass. It was mind-blowing, to say the least and Tommy couldn’t believe himself, but he wanted more. He hooked his legs around Adam’s hips, a hand getting lost in the wet hair while the other steadied himself on a tattooed arm. His sweaty back arched a little again to feel that strange full feeling better and he moaned as the discomfort eased with each faster thrust just to be replaced by pure pleasure.

In that moment everything felt right – the kisses, the touches, the thrusts of Adam’s hips – and Tommy completely forgot about their audience or holding on to the remains of control over his body. He opened his eyes as he felt a warm hand cup his face and he stared into the burning grayish blue eyes of Adam.

“Good?” he heard the soft breathless question.

He didn’t trust his voice so he just nodded and licked his lips.

“More?”

“Y-yeah… harder,” he managed to say and the second he got the harder and faster thrusts his eyes rolled back into his head and he held onto Adam’s back, nails digging into sweaty skin as he finally let his moans of pleasure out and pushed up to meet each thrust.

He was so close by then and Adam’s fingers closing around his leaking cock in a firm grip made Tommy arch his back once more. After a few strokes there was nothing left for him just to come. And he did. White stripes of his seed spilled from him and messed up their wet stomachs as his body convulsed around Adam’s cock and over his own yells he could hear a broken sound Adam made right before he muttered “Breathtaking” as he watched Tommy writhe in pleasure.

The blonde could feel Adam pulse deep inside him and after a few pushes wetness made his insides slippery and his hips met the other man’s jerking moves while he was filling him up with his fluids. It was an unfamiliar feeling but nothing uncomfortable. Still, as he was fighting for air under the heavy body of his husband he didn’t know how to feel about it as his mind didn’t seem to want to come down from the high caused by utter pleasure. Adam had kept his word and Tommy realized that he already trusted him a little more.

Adam was still buried in him as their breathing slowly went back to normal and he was about to kiss the man underneath when Tommy’s attention was drawn to the discreet sounds of retreating footsteps. It dawned on him that Sutan and Brad were leaving and the reason of why they had to be there rushed back into Tommy’s mind. He turned his face to the side and rather buried it in the crook of Adam’s neck as if wanting to hide like a shy woman. He hated himself for it, but his body was still humming and buzzing with pleasure and he didn’t want them to see that, although he knew he was a little too late for that.

Once they were gone Adam slid out of him as gently as he could, but it still made Tommy hiss quietly. Being that open and suddenly empty made him bite his lips and banish a thought from his mind as soon as it formed. He certainly did _not_ like the feeling of being used by Adam like this. He let his still shaking legs drop back on the bed and closed his eyes, feeling Adam roll off him and reach for a damp wash cloth to clean up first Tommy then himself.

The silence was stretching between them and balancing between nice and uncomfortable as Tommy was starting to fight with himself and the swirling emotions inside.

“You okay?” he heard Adam ask after he lay down on his side, pushing himself up on an elbow. He wasn’t touching Tommy now and the blond felt grateful for that.

“Yeah…” he said a little too quickly then took a deep breath that came out in a long sigh “I don’t know…” he kept his eyes closed and tried to fight off the growing embarrassment and feeling as a tool, humiliated. He knew he wasn’t, not really, and that it was just a stupid tradition, but still he hated the fact that the other two had to witness his first time with Adam… the first time he ever bottomed to anyone.

“Did I hurt you?” came the next question and he could hear worry in Adam’s voice now.

Tommy’s eyes opened slowly and he glimpsed at him then he turned his gaze towards the painted ceiling. “No. I enjoyed it. You kept yourself to your word. I just… Never mind. I’m tired. We should go to sleep. We’ll have a long day tomorrow,” he mumbled, turning on his side, facing away from Adam and curling on himself. That was true. After breakfast with Adam’s family and advisors they had some issues of the kingdoms to discuss and then Adam promised him to show him around in Oudjat and the palace, his new home.

As if Adam could feel what was going on inside him as he closed up again, he understood that Tommy didn’t want to talk about what just happened and the blond was grateful for that too.

“Alright. Good night, husband.”

Tommy pressed his eyes shut as he felt the mattress move and the room got darker behind his eyelids so he assumed Adam put out the oil lamps. Tommy welcomed the darkness and he opened his eyes to stare in front of him, seeing nothing but the outlines of the furniture. His body tensed though when he felt Adam curl around him from behind, his hot breath puffing against Tommy’s nape and a heavy hand resting around his middle. Tommy swallowed, waiting, but nothing else happened and after a couple of minutes he relaxed and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Good night, Adam,” he whispered into the darkness, a tiny smile playing around his lips as sleep conquered his exhausted body.


	6. Streets Made of Desire

**Chapter 6**

**Streets Made of Desire**

 

Oudjat was amazing, Tommy had to admit. It was buzzing with life despite the scorching sun over the desert. He and Adam were walking down the streets in their light clothes and sandals, two guards following them, but it seemed they didn’t have much to do as the people whom they passed all smiled and bowed to them and offered their wares in the market. It was one of the biggest squares in the city filled with all kinds of goods. Expensive drapes, silk, spices, fish, sweet roots, vegetables, incents, jewels, gold, silver, copper and everything else one could need. The colors, noise and scents were overwhelming, but Tommy enjoyed himself as they walked in a comfortable pace, Adam explaining him how the vendors come from all around the country and from further to sell their wares.

Tommy was listening intently as they stopped here and there and he smiled at a few bowing men and women. He inspected the merchandise on their stands while they were moving deeper into the heart of the market. As Tommy looked at the surrounding imposing buildings with all the paintings, carvings and statues on them he had to admit that this kingdom really was much more richer than theirs – and he haven’t even seen most of the palace yet. But he could already imagine the grandeur the rest held.

The blond felt calmer in this environment as it reminded him of the market at home that he sometimes visited, although the strong smell of fish and the salty sea were missing from the air. He slowed his steps as they neared a jewelry stand. He always liked those, it wasn’t a secret, and once he stopped in front of the gorgeous ware a small smile appeared on his face. He forgot about the slight discomfort he felt while walking or the flashbacks from last night and focused on what was in front of him. The vendor, of course, bowed and started babbling about the jewels but one subtle move of Adam’s hand stopped him.

“Is there something you like?” Adam asked standing next to Tommy, but he wasn’t looking at the sparkling goods. He was examining the blonde’s profile which he still found very beautiful along with the discrete excitement burning in the brown eyes.

“Everything looks stunning, but…” he ran his slender fingers on the edge of a container that held different kind of earrings displayed on a soft cloth “I like the earrings the most,” he admitted and took a look at some silver ones. His eyes got caught by a long earring that was made from a black loop and three silver disks were attached to it. Each disk was smaller than the one above it. He picked it up and put it to one of the four silver loops he had in his ear already. He could see in a mirror that it reached under his chin.

“It looks good,” Adam commented too and Tommy nodded, setting it aside before he started digging through another container. “You seem to like jewels like me.”

“Not that much, I’m usually interested in earrings,” he shrugged and picked up a thin silver bar that had two small balls on each end. “Where does this go?” he asked the vendor. The man quickly explained that it’s not his most popular piece and that people usually drive it through the top of their ear then a spot a bit lower on the lobe across. Once the man finished his explanation Tommy looked down at the bar and nodded. “I like that,” he said and turned to Adam, his gaze lingering on the stretchers in the dark-haired man’s ears. “Do you have someone to do that for me?”

“Yes. We have a very skilled barber who is good with piercings like these too,” he nodded smiling. “Let me buy you the earrings as a ‘welcome to the Desert’ gift.”

“No,” he shook his head but softened his voice “thank you, but I want to purchase them for me from the same reason,” he offered a small smile and Adam returned it, waving towards the stand as he slightly bowed with his upper-body, making the vendor gasp for air as the members of the royal family only bowed in front of those whom they respected. Tommy caught the reaction of the vendor but didn’t comment on it. “Thank you,” he nodded and handed the jewels to the tanned man. He took the small purse from one of the hidden pockets of his tunic and offered him a golden coin.

“No, my king, I cannot accept such generosity,” he shook his head holding out a small velvet purse with the chosen jewels inside.

“Please, just take it and give the rest away to the poor then,” Tommy said and after a second of hesitation the vendor nodded and took the coin, telling him how grateful he was and that he’d do exactly that.

“I’m not sure he’ll do that, you know” Adam commented when they were already on their way through the crowd, guards following close behind.

“I know, but it doesn’t matter. I did it because people have to get used to my presence just as much as I have to get used to this new culture and them,” Tommy said looking around and noticed that they were nearing the end of the market. “Don’t you want to buy anything?”

“I see. You are already wise, it seems,” Adam smirked and Tommy had to suppress a smile of his own. “And no, I don’t need anything.”

“My father thinks that I’m wise only at times. Maybe this was one of those times,” he shrugged.

“Maybe. By the way, we sometimes give feasts to the poor or go out among them for alms-giving. It usually happens before the bigger celebrations to win the favor of the gods and because we simply care about our people’s well-being.”

“That’s very noble of your family.”

“They are now your family too, Tommy.”

“I know. I just have to get used to that still.”

“True. Come on, let me show you one of my favorite spots in the city,” he took Tommy’s hand in his to pull him to the right direction through narrow alleys.

The blond man didn’t protest and tried to calm his heart feeling his hand get lost in the much bigger palm as he followed Adam through the maze of streets. He was starting to contemplate about being dragged along like that but the second he wanted to say something about it they got out of the semi-dark alleys into the bright sunlight. For a few seconds Tommy couldn’t see anything as his eyes tried to adjust to the light then he gasped softly from the sight. They were on top of a staircase that led down to the riverbank. There were palm trees and lush bushes on each side of the stairs and the path that curved towards the river. Adam kept his hand in his and Tommy forgot to free himself from the grip as they walked down on the stairs much slower this time, the guards following them like their shadows.

“My mother had this small oasis done when we were small with my brother. She liked to take us down to the water where we could bathe in a small bay. I thought you might like it,” Adam said as they followed the shady path and finally stopped at the edge of the sandy bank. “What do you think?” the dark-haired man asked rubbing the back of Tommy’s hand a little nervously.

Tommy looked around then up into Adam’s slightly flushed face. He could appreciate the way he was trying and noticed the slight nervousness to indulge his new husband. Tommy lightly squeezed his fingers and tilted his head to the side, the warm breeze ruffling his long fringe. “It is beautiful here. Do you think we can take a dive? It’s a very hot day,” he asked pulling his hand out from Adam’s hold and stepped towards the water, hands already loosening his belt. This time it was gold over the white fabric.

“Sure,” the other man nodded watching him and the surprise was clear on his freckled face. He didn’t expect something like this from the usually closed up blond. He wanted to say something else too as Tommy took off his sandals, but his words got stuck in his throat when the white tunic landed on the ground too. All the revealed pale skin made the young king’s mouth dry, especially when Tommy turned his back to him and took off his undergarment too to head naked into the water. Adam willed his body to behave, but the sight of the slim male’s naked body being licked by the water was very tempting.

Once the nice water was deep enough Tommy disappeared for a few moments to wet his hair too. Shaking the water out of his fringe he turned towards Adam, who had a strange dazed expression on his face. “Aren’t you coming in?” he raised a brow, unaware of the reason why he was staring at him like that.

“Right,” he mumbled and started undressing to follow his new husband into the water. He tried to mask the lust he was feeling for him and he hoped he succeeded as he didn’t want to scare him off or ruin the nice mood between them. Tommy looked less withdrawn, which was a pleasant surprise as Adam thought that after last night things would be weird between them. He was glad he was wrong about that.

The other man was waiting for him in the water that was nice warm but still could cool him off a little. He felt goose bumps rise on his skin and he wasn’t sure if it was caused only by the water or watching the naked man walking into it. He had to admit that Adam was a very handsome and attractive man with a beautiful body. All those freckles… Tommy had to quietly take a deep breath and concentrate on swimming instead of the pictures from last night when that body was towering over him, moving in a perfect rhythm, sweat glistening on the nicely toned muscles. The situation put the blonde in a turmoil, because a part of him still wanted to resist his current position and Adam, but another part just wanted to give in to the dark-haired man and the pleasures he was offering to Tommy. Maybe everyone was right and he should try it. After all Adam proved to be trustworthy enough last night and Tommy didn’t feel any ill will in him.

“Have you ever thought that one day you’d swim in this bay with your husband instead of your brother?” Tommy asked instead once Adam swam close to him.

“Not really, but it’s nice. I’m glad I showed you this place,” he smiled warmly and Tommy already felt less tense from that smile. There was something radiant in it and the blond liked the way it lit up Adam’s whole face and being.

“I’m glad too. I like it here. As you know I’ve been raised next to the sea. I’m glad your city has a river at least. I love to swim,” he said.

“Our city,” Adam corrected him still smiling as they were swimming in circles in the bay “and it fills me with joy to know you like this place and the river too. I thought you’d appreciate the closeness of the water. Did you ever sail on sea?”

“Our city,” he nodded tasting the meaning of it. “Yes, numerous times. As a young boy my father thought that it was necessary for me to learn what hard work is. To become a good prince and later king. I used to sail with merchant ships and war ships alike. My personal bodyguards of course made sure nothing bad could happen to me, but I loved it. Going out on the sea to fish were my favorite trips,” he admitted.

“Why is that?” Adam asked curiously.

“Because it meant the amount of fish we caught would provide food for the people in our kingdom. I’ve learned to value food. I know how important it is to be able to feed your subjects, especially at the time of war.”

Adam nodded as they stopped for a while and were just keeping themselves afloat with moving their arms and legs, facing each other. “That’s true. And your kingdom is rich of good fish. That’s why we’ve always been trading with you. Most of our fish supply comes from there as River Sesen isn’t enough to provide the amount of food our land needs,” he said softly. “You see, our lives have been interwoven even before we were born,” he smiled.

Tommy thought about that for a second then finally nodded with a small smile. “I can see that, you’re right. I’m trying to get used to it… to get used to you. I haven’t even thanked you for last night… for keeping yourself to your word,” he said after pausing for a moment and feeling a light blush creep over his pale skin.

“I always try to keep my given word and I’ve told you before that I don’t want to hurt or exploit you. You are not just a lover but my husband. We are equal and I want to keep it that way. I won’t force anything on you that you don’t want. But… can I be honest with you?”

“Yes, I’d love it if you could be honest with me at all times and in exchange I’ll try to be honest with you as well,” he nodded seriously.

“I find you very attractive and hot… and last night… it was amazing to me. I hope for you too… and I’d like to… repeat it some time. Maybe it’s too early to confess, but you make me all hot and bothered,” he whispered and if Adam wasn’t blushing just as much as Tommy, the blonde would have gotten pissed, but seeing him just as insecure about his confession and talking about this, made Tommy think and finally smile.

The smaller man swam closer to him and feeling bold he put his arms around Adam’s shoulders, keeping his head over the water only with the movements of his legs now. He slid a hand to the back of Adam’s neck and tilted his head up so their lips could meet in a slow and sensual kiss that left both of them breathless by the time the blonde pulled back. “I hope for the same,” he whispered looking up into Adam’s eyes and the little surprised smile he got in return filled him with satisfaction. He gave his husband a lopsided grin then he started swimming towards the shore, leaving him behind.

***

By the time they were walking back into the castle with the silent guards at their heels Tommy’s hair was drying in soft waves. He preferred his fringe to be flat, but now it didn’t bother him. They weren’t holding hands or anything, but they were walking closer after the kiss and words they’ve exchanged in the river. Tommy was thinking about how appropriate its meaning was – rebirth – in their situation too. After last night he felt like he was somehow different. Maybe he really was starting to open up for Adam seeing how caring and kind he was with him and the people around. He should’ve been a fool not to see how much people loved him and Tommy liked that. He knew he could’ve ended up in a much worse situation and besides… he had to admit to himself that he was starting to like it here.

They were climbing the endless stairs the next time Adam talked, bringing him back to the here and now.

“I want to show you another important place before we have a late lunch in our chambers,” he said and Tommy got curious right away.

“What kind of place?”

“You’ll see,” Adam winked at him and they climbed the rest of the stairs in silence.

The air was hot but no sand this time. Still, by the time they’ve passed the level where their chambers were and reached the top of the stairs Tommy was thirsty and slightly out of breath. Now he had an idea where they were headed as two servants offered them fresh water. They drank it slowly while Adam explained what was going to happen. Tommy’s eyes were on the great painted dome towering over them. The temple.

“I often come here to talk to our gods and seek their guidance and we do the important ceremonies here. Like offering up sacrifices… food, animals, wine or our blood. Depends on which god’s favor we want to win,” he explained as they were walking towards the huge two-winged door. It was black and the figures and symbols were painted with gold just like on the main doors of the palace underneath.

“Does it usually work?”

“Not always but most of the time,” Adam nodded. “In the dome over the temple we often study the stars and constellations too, trying to determine all kinds of things from them,” he continued as they waited for the doors to be opened for them.

Tommy just nodded, wondering if that was a part of the legendary wisdom the family of his husband passed down since centuries. Adam went silent on his side as they entered the temple and the same high priest who wed them came closer to greet them. They slightly bowed to each other, said some words on a strange language Tommy didn’t know and Adam let the priest draw something between the king’s eyes with his thumb which he wetted in scented water held by a servant boy. Tommy guessed it was the eye symbol and once the priest did the same to his forehead he was pretty sure about it. After that the priest retreated and left them alone.

“It’s for opening your eyes and mind,’ he explained pointing at his own forehead. “Come,” Adam took his hand and they walked further into the richly decorated temple. It was round like the dome above and light flooded its black marble floors through tall arches between painted columns. In the middle of the round temple seven steps ran around and led down to a golden altar in the middle. The structure of the steps reminded Tommy on the amphitheater near their castle where his father took him a few times to watch plays. Of course this was much, much smaller though. He looked curiously at Adam who returned the look with a soft smile then walked down the stairs which were filled with black and gold pillows.

“During rituals or just praying priests and the members of our family sit on these pillows to pray and participate. I often come here to meditate too.”

“What is that?” he asked only having a vague idea of it.

“I usually come here to meditate when a problem clouds my mind and I can’t see a way out of it or make the right decision about it. It helps to clear my mind and get more in touch with myself,” he answered and sat down on one of the black pillows waving for Tommy to follow his example. Once he took a seat on a golden pillow Adam turned to the direction of the altar. “We present our offerings or let the high priest do the rituals there,” he nodded towards the center of the circle slightly below them.

“So you, your family and people are very religious…” Tommy wondered sitting cross-legged on his pillow.

“Yes. I used to serve here in the temple for years when I was younger. It was a part of my and my brother’s training as princes and the next keepers of the wisdom our family holds,” he explained. “Is that a problem? Aren’t you and your people religious? I mean you have different kind of gods too.”

“Yeah, we do and my family and people are religious too. I’m not so much. I mean… I believe there must be something that’s bigger than us but I’m not sure about giving them human faces and attributes,” he shook his head and made sure that he kept his voice just above a whisper as he didn’t want any of the priests or servant boys shout ‘heretic’ at him and get him into trouble. He hoped Adam wouldn’t do that either.

Something must have shown on Tommy’s face as Adam’s thoughtful expression softened. “Don’t worry, I accept your point of view even if mine is different from yours,” he put his hand on Tommy’s which was resting on the blonde’s knee.

“Thanks. I was scared for a moment. I’ve always been more interested in the mythology my people created around these gods. The adventurous stories, trips and the scary monsters intrigued me as a boy too,” he smiled down at his tattooed arm.

“I can see that,” Adam chuckled softly and rubbed the back of Tommy’s hand with his thumb. “Speaking of which, I have something for you once we get back to our chambers,” he announced grinning at Tommy and somehow it made his heart leap. The blonde turned his attention back to the golden altar but he was smiling.

“You made me curious. We can go once you answer one more question.”

“And what would that be?” he whispered sliding a tiny bit closer to his husband.

“When would you start teaching me about your culture and the secret wisdom your family holds?” he asked a little hoarsely. He could feel the air getting filled with electricity between them as Adam leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against Tommy’s flushed cheek. Tommy blamed the tingling feeling on his cheek on the magical atmosphere of the temple, but he knew it was just his still resisting part talking. He turned his head to the side to be able to look into Adam’s piercing blue eyes from close.

“Once harvest time arrives at the end of next month,” he whispered on Tommy’s lips and lightly brushed his freckled ones against them before he pulled back smiling on the blonde’s dazed expression. “Come now, husband, let’s get something to eat. I’d like to hear your opinion about the things we’ve discussed with father in the morning,” he stood and pulled Tommy up by his hand.

They never let go on their way down to their chambers.

***

The southern kingdoms were a threat they always had to count with, but ever since they’ve joined in an alliance in an attempt to conquer the Land of the Sea and the Land of the Desert for their food supply and all the natural resources made the threat more real. The way they’ve started gathering a huge army made the former kings Eber and Ron take the step of marrying their sons and uniting their kingdoms. Their enemy consisted of two kingdoms. One was the Islands of Gorgo, led by a fierce and ruthless warrior queen called Thalia. The other the Land of the Volcanoes. Their leader was a feared pirate captain, Vito who raided the waters between the kingdoms and often the shoreline too as their homeland was not much more than raging volcanoes, ash and fire and very little food source. However, the weapons they managed to forge there were legendary. As their fleet grew, worry overshadowed the careful kings’ minds, too.

“So what do you think? Is it wise to gather our armies too? You think there really will be an attack on us soon?” Adam asked while they were eating their late lunch next to the pool and under the shade.

“I believe so. I trust my father’s instincts and well… spies and your father seems like a reasonable and careful man too,” Tommy nodded eating some more of the spicy rice which he found delicious. “I think being cautious can’t do harm. You know well that our kingdoms are the gateway into the kingdoms deeper on the mainland. If we fall, the rest will follow soon. I still think we should send word about the threat and ask for aid from the other rulers,” he added thinking back about the council this morning where he suggested this option and Eber told him that he’ll consider it.

“You know why my father is reluctant about that. Those kingdoms aren’t as strong as ours. They mostly consist of nomads and farmers. Their warriors are fierce but few and they are reluctant to aid us because of the past our countries share with them. But yes, maybe our message could open their eyes to the danger. As you’ve said, if we fall, they will be conquered too,” Adam agreed raising his golden cup to his lips to sip from his wine. “They are willing to trade with us, but the peace is fragile with the Desert. I assume the situation is the same with the Sea?”

“As far as I know it is. But I still think that we should at least try to reason with them. I’m sure though, as small that kingdom is, the Land of the Caves where my sister is queen would aid us. But even with their help we’d face a difficult war with the southern nations. I’ve heard stories both of Thalia and Vito. They’d either kill everyone or enslave them. I don’t want our people to suffer from that. It took long enough to stop slavery in my home and I’ve heard you had some difficulties regarding that in the past too.”

“That’s correct. Although my family had banished slavery nearly a hundred years ago, it wasn’t an easy change. But it worked out in the long run and I don’t want to see our people on chains either,” he frowned shaking his head.

“Well, let’s just hope that your father will agree with us. If I may say so, it kind of still feels as if we need his approval to act as kings.”

“You may. It’s just natural, I think. He’s still getting used to the idea that the real power is in our hands now, but I like him as our consultant. He’s been a wise king so far and I value his opinion.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I value it too,” Tommy looked at Adam drinking from his own wine too “I was just saying. My father has it easier as he stayed back home and practically still rules the Sea while waiting for our orders. We’ll have to step soon though. I have a bad feeling about the southern kingdoms.”

“Yes… I can feel it too. It’s the wind of change,” Adam nodded looking past the pool and the palm trees which were lightly moving from a breeze coming from the direction of the far sea. “Oh, I nearly forgot!” Adam suddenly stood up and made a gesture with his hand to signal Tommy to stay. The blond looked confused until he got back with a rectangular package wrapped in a soft cloth. “I believe this belongs to you,” he smiled bright as he handed it to the smaller man.

Tommy frowned and took the package, opening it. He recognized the cover of the book immediately and a smile crossed his lips. “I was wondering what happened to this,” he glimpsed up at Adam, remembering the day of their first kiss at the beach and how he’d left this book behind in the sand. He nearly forgot about it.

“I took it with me after you left. I know I should’ve given it back much earlier, but to tell the truth, it intrigued me and I wanted to wait until I had the chance to read it. I know it probably means a lot to you, a piece of your homeland and I hope you’re not angry with me.”

“No, don’t worry. I’m just glad that I have it here with me,” he stroked along the elaborate leather cover depicting sea monsters and gods. “So you read it?” he raised a brow smiling a little.

“Yes,” Adam said and was still fighting with the slight color on his face after his previous confession.

“I didn’t know you could read in this old dialect of my language,” he blinked surprised. He knew Adam was sophisticated but he didn’t expect this. They both had different mother tongues but there was a common language they and everyone else coming in contact with him used. It was spread and used all around the kingdoms to make communication easier. But now Tommy was impressed knowing that Adam could read the old dialect of his language which was sometimes difficult to understand even for the blonde.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me yet, Tommy…” he said mysteriously.

Tommy agreed with a nod as he set his cup down and watched Adam for a long moment before his eyes caught movement behind him as a tall female figure emerged from the direction of the corridor.

“Excuse me, your Majesties. King Adam, you’ve sent for me?” the woman asked and Tommy found it difficult not to stare at her. She had black and blonde two-toned hair shaved on one side of her scull. She had brown eyes and full lips, and despite her height just the right curves which haven’t stayed hidden under her short black floating tunic that was held together by a golden belt under her breasts.

“Yes…” Adam paused for a second looking at Tommy who was still eyeing her. “I… or rather King Thomas requires your services. Tommy, let me introduce you Ashley, the best barber and tattoo artist in Oudjat. She did my ears and most of my tattoos too. Being a spiritual woman, on her spare time she’s also a priestess of the temple which we just visited,” he introduced his husband to her and Ashley slightly bowed.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you in person too, King Thomas,” she said calmly.

“The pleasure is mine,” he said then turned to Adam, not really understanding his expression “Thank you.”

“What will it be today, your Majesty? Another tattoo?” she asked eyeing the nearly full sleeves on the blonde’s arms “Shaving? Or piercing?”

“I’ve bought a bar for my earlobe down the market. I’d like you to put that in and then a shave would be nice too, thank you.”

“Very well. I’ll set up inside. You can join me in a few minutes,” she said and bowed to both of them before she left.

“You like her, don’t you?” Adam asked amused once she was out of earshot.

“What makes you think so?” he raised a brow and picked up his cup to finish his wine.

“The way you sized her up,” he shrugged.

“She would’ve been my type back home. But now I’m married to you. Does it bother you?”

“Just a little. I’m aware of the fact that you like both men and women. I’ll probably always be a little bothered by women around you as they can give you something I can’t.”

Tommy smiled softly under his nose and lightly shook his head “As I just said, I’m married to you,” he repeated.

“You say it as if that explains everything.”

“Well, I won’t go around chasing skirts, if you are worried about that. Even if I barely know you yet, I’ve made a commitment to you, which I plan to honor. Or you don’t think the same way, Adam?” he raised a brow looking at his husband.

“Oh I do think the same way about our marriage. Just wanted to make sure,” he smirked then followed Tommy inside once Ashley told them that she was ready.

Tommy sat down in one of the lithe armchairs after giving Ashley the piercing and let her clean his earlobe and disinfect the bar over a candle. Tommy knew now why she was the best. It hurt a little but she was quick and soon showed him the result in a hand mirror. Tommy was pleased and let her clean his ear once again before foaming up his face and throat to shave him with steady moves. Soon Tommy fully relaxed closing his eyes and letting his guards nearly fully down as the sharp blade ran on his pale skin. It was an eventful but good day and by now he couldn’t wait to learn more about this nation and his husband.


	7. All of You Tonight

**Chapter 7**

**All of You Tonight**

They’ve been ruling together for weeks now and a routine was forming for Tommy. In the mornings he cleaned up, got dressed, ate breakfast with the royal family or sometimes just with Adam in their chambers, they talked about the situation in the south when they got news then they both listened to those who had some disputed cases and tried to provide them the rightful judgement. That part of the day could last for long hours and wasn’t Tommy’s favorite, but he knew that this was required from them as rulers. It’d have been the same in his homeland too, so he tried to be patient and just. In the afternoons he often found himself wandering the palace or sitting in one of the oasis-like gardens he liked the best. Occasionally he went out to the city with some guards, looking around in the market, talking to the people… his people now, or visited that secluded place by the river where Adam took him for a swim. Sometimes the dark-haired man accompanied him as well.

During the afternoons he sometimes decided to play on his instrument and when Adam was there he hummed along until he began singing. Tommy liked his voice, he found it beautiful and unique. It amazed him how naturally it was flowing from his throat and made his being radiate as if light was coming from him. It was a strange thought, Tommy knew, but at times he could nearly see that warm glow surrounding him.

He knew Adam liked it when Tommy was playing his guitar and at times he asked him to show some of the songs he wrote in his free time. First Tommy was reluctant as no one heard those before, but, once again, Adam’s positive reaction and comments eased Tommy up. A time came when it was Tommy who went to him with some new ideas or to ask Adam to sing for him. Music proved to be a strong link between them and the blonde man started to feel more relaxed around Adam.

It was a slow process but the evidence of it was clearly there when bed-time came that day and for the first time Tommy lay down facing Adam instead of showing him his back. The dark-haired man became a little uneasy feeling his husband staring at him for long minutes in the light of a single oil lamp.

“What is it? You can’t sleep?” he asked softly to break the silence.

“I don’t want to sleep,” he whispered still watching Adam.

“Then what do you want to do?”

Tommy didn’t answer just slid closer to him. He hesitated for a second then rolling on his side he put a hand on the side of Adam’s neck and pressed his lips against his husband’s. Adam was a little surprised but he kissed back and let Tommy’s fringe brush against his face as he pushed a leg between the freckled thighs. Adam put a hand on Tommy’s naked back and caressed it softly while the kiss became deeper and he felt the smaller man slowly rub himself against his thigh. Through his thin undergarment he could feel Tommy’s hardening cock and that made his own twitch under the light cover.

Since that first night they had a few hand and blowjobs and those were usually initiated by Adam. This was the first time that Tommy started it. Adam thought that he’d only want to grind against him and come that way, but when Tommy broke the kiss and slid a hand under the cover and Adam’s undergarment to take his cock in his hand, his words asked for more.

“I want you to fuck me again…” he whispered barely audible and blushing furiously. Adam found him cute and hot at the same time.

“What made you change your mind?” Adam asked gently and tucked the blonde fringe behind Tommy’s ear just to watch it fall forward again.

He bit his bottom lip a few times, drawing Adam’s attention there from the fire burning deep in Tommy’s eyes. “I… liked it the first time and I… want to feel that intense stimulation again… I… want to… try it again,” he breathed at the end and Adam’s eyes rounded. He didn’t dare to hope that this moment would come this soon.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Tommy nodded blushing some more. “If you want to…” he added suddenly looking a little unsure.

“Of course I want to. You know well,” Adam smiled and lifted his head off the pillow to meet Tommy’s soft lips in a slow and sensual kiss. He held back a smile as he heard the smaller man’s quiet moan. He tasted sweet and Adam wanted more. Much much more.

When he wanted to turn Tommy on his back he protested. “No… not yet. First I want to taste you again,” he whispered and Adam drew in a sharp breath. He remembered how good it felt the first time. He just nodded and laid his head back on the pillows, making sure that he’d see Tommy go down on him.

The blonde pulled off the thin black and gold cover from his husband and undid his underwear. He let his eyes drink in the sight of the gorgeous body and his hands followed soon after. He smiled softly as he felt goose bumps appear under his fingertips. He leaned down and sucked a pink nipple between his lips, drawing breathy moans from Adam. He took his time playing with both hard buds then kissed and licked his way down the freckled skin, kissing as many of the small dots as possible. By the time he reached Adam’s hip bones the other man was panting and shaking softly. Tommy looked up as he took the thick and long cock in his hand. He liked its weight on his palm and how hard it was as he followed a vein on its underside, making Adam shudder again.

“Tommy…” he breathed as the blond licked around his sensitive tip and pressed his tongue against his slit to taste the beads of pre-come. Their eyes locked together as the pouty lips wrapped around him and slowly slid lower and lower with each bob of his husband’s head. The pleasure made Adam moan again as he reached out with one hand to stroke the long fringe out of the pretty face. The soft moans and sucking sent shivers down his spine and knew if Tommy continued like this, he’d come before he should. Tommy was quite good in giving head and the more he learned about Adam’s body, the better he got in pleasuring Adam.

Tommy was determined. Since he’d decided that he’d put his trust in Adam he was working himself towards this. Not the blowjob, of course, but to be more open with him and anyways, he already had male lovers before. He shouldn’t feel intimidated about the reversed roles. That was part of the reason why he wanted to do what he was planning to do. He wanted to let go of the uneasy feelings he had about bottoming and letting go. After all, the last time turned out much better than he’d expected. And to his surprise he liked it. A lot. Even if he didn’t say it out loud to Adam or admitted it to himself for a long time. And there was another reason: he really liked Adam. He was a fun man with lots of energy and happiness. At times Tommy saw him like a mini-sun making people smile and feel better around him. Tommy slowly came out of his shell too after the long hours spent together with him and by now he saw the similarities in them. The love for their kingdoms, their people, for music and stories and of course sex.

Adam was clearly a physical being and judging by his experience in pleasuring his husband, Tommy was sure he had many lovers before him. He knew for a fact that Brad, who ran Adam’s errands and who witnessed their first time, used to share Adam’s bed in the past. And oh boy, the man liked to gossip. Tommy was usually just listening to him babbling about this and that and sometimes about Adam too. That’s how he knew things about his husband. And he wanted to discover those things with him.

At the moment his goal was to take as much of Adam’s cock in his mouth as he could without gagging. He didn’t do that the last time he blew him and Tommy felt curious like when he was discovering his sexuality a few years back. He was taking his time with the sucking though to let himself get used to Adam’s taste and size while his tongue was teasing the underside of the tasty cock. Tommy felt bolder hearing the moans he pulled from Adam and when he let him slide to the back of his throat for the first time and felt Adam pull at his hair, Tommy shivered with lust and pride. He couldn’t take all of his husband from this angle, but he only needed to make a ring of his thumb and index-finger to rub him to the same accelerating pace his mouth dictated.

Adam was starting to see stars behind his eyelids. He didn’t remember when he’d closed his eyes or when his hand found its way to the back of Tommy’s head. He knew he was pulling the blonde’s hair, but once again the resonating moans against his cock confirmed that Tommy liked that kind of pain.

“Oh my goodness… Tommy… if you keep this up…” he warned trailing off and he thanked the gods and goddesses that after a few more sucks the plump lips slid off his hard cock with a wet pop. Looking down he saw Tommy lick the excess saliva off his lips and a satisfied grin was already tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Adam let his hair go and pulled him up for a passionate kiss. He loved that he felt no resistance in his husband anymore as they were kissing and he slid a hand down between them to undo his underwear and rub along the erection found underneath. Tommy’s needy moan set Adam into motion and soon the blond found himself lying on his stomach. Adam pulled him up on all fours and ran his hand down on his spine to rub the small ass with fondness. Leaning down he made a path of soft kisses and licks from the small of Tommy’s back down to his ass. He could still smell and taste the scented oils he used on his smooth skin during the bath he took before getting to bed.

Tommy was letting himself get lost in the sensations the touches and kisses caused. Closing his eyes he stopped himself from tensing up as Adam parted his ass cheeks with his hands, but a breathy moan still escaped him the second his husband’s tongue flicked against his hole. It was a strange but good feeling and soon he found himself softly whimpering, each lick and probing of that tongue sending a jolt of pleasure right to his hard cock which was searching for some friction but couldn’t find any yet. Adam’s big hands were holding him in place and despite their immobilizing power he didn’t start to panic. He liked it. A lot. He only turned his head to take a look what Adam was doing when the tongue disappeared and he heard Adam moving behind him. A disapproving sound left him and he blushed even deeper. He couldn’t believe he could sound so strange to his own ears, but Adam seemed to like it as he smiled and shushed him.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m gonna lube you up now,” he commented and leaned down to press a kiss against one of Tommy’s ass cheeks. It made Tommy hide behind his shoulder, his hair falling into his eyes as a shiver ran down his spine.

Adam reached for the glass of oil on the nightstand and poured a generous amount in his palm then slicked up first his fingers then Tommy’s hole. He used the rest to do the same with Tommy’s balls and throbbing shaft. The broken sounds his wet touches caused made Adam’s dick throb with want too, but he pushed his own desires back and concentrated on circling his middle finger around the small hole, putting pressure against it. He slid his other hand on Tommy’s balls to massage them and distract him as he eased his finger inside.

Tommy was panting and whined softly as the first finger penetrated him, but Adam’s palm rubbing his balls and occasionally his cock distracted him enough not to tense up but welcome the slight burn which turned into pleasure after a few searching moves of the long and thicker finger. “Oh shit… right there,” he breathed dropping his head between his shoulders as the digit curled and brushed against that magical spot.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Adam asked hoarsely as he kept moving his finger and hand, watching the slim body lightly shake. “Want more?”

“Yes… so good… Yes, more!” he panted and moaned again when a second finger joined the first, rubbing against that sweet spot a little harder. It made Tommy see stars and he could feel his pre-cum slide down his shaft. It was the sweetest torture he could imagine and now he wasn’t ashamed of not being able to get enough of it. He didn’t voice it yet, but he let himself get lost in the feeling. He didn’t even notice that he started moving back against the fingers that were now scissoring inside to open up his hole and let a third one in.

“So beautiful…” Adam whispered with darkly shining eyes and he kept finger-fucking the other man, his other hand letting his balls go to rub his ass and hip. “I can’t wait to be inside you, baby…” he added and his own desire was thick in his voice. Tommy turned his head back hearing this and watched Adam over his shoulder. His cheek was red, eyes hazed over by desire, mouth slightly parted and dry from all the panting. Adam couldn’t remember seeing anyone so pretty. He watched Tommy lick his bottom lip and move a little faster on his fingers.

“Do it then…” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” he asked completely pulling his fingers out only to lean down and lick into the open hole, which made the blonde squirm and cry out in pleasure.

“Yes! Fuck!”

“Ask nicely for it…” he whispered back, hoping that it wouldn’t put Tommy off.

Tommy hesitated for a second. “Do you want me to beg for it?” he asked a little shocked.

“Yes… I could probably make you cum only with licking you out, but I know you want more…” he said seductively and to emphasize his point he pushed his tongue back inside to swirl it around, his strong hands keeping Tommy in place.

“Fuck! Fuck, alright…” he groaned closing his eyes and sighed. “Please…”

“Sorry… what? Did you say something?” Adam teased sliding in a finger too while another started rubbing against Tommy’s perineum, making him whine with lust.

“Please!” he said louder.

“Please what?” he asked pushing both his tongue and two fingers in and moaning from the taste and the heat Tommy’s body gave off.

“Please…” he groaned hesitating only for a moment as another wave of desire washed over him. He knew his king was right: he turned him on too much to be satisfied coming only on his tongue and fingers. “ _Please_ , give me your cock… Fuck me already. Please… _I need_ …”

“Holy goddess, you are so hot right now… Fuck…” he panted and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He pulled his fingers out of the twitching hole and quickly slicked up his length. He had to moan from his own touch, but he quickly focused on knee-walking closer to the offered ass. He pressed a hand on the small of Tommy’s back to push it out some more then lined up his cock and with a steady push he breached the tight ring of muscle, making them both moan with relief.

Tommy’s head was swimming and his arms gave out, falling back on his forearms. It made him gasp for air as Adam could slide deeper in this angle. His fingers fisted around the black sheets and his eyes closed as he moaned from the burning and stretching feeling. “So fucking big…” he babbled but moved his ass back to slide on Adam a few more inches. It made his toes curl and Adam’s throaty moan sent another shiver down his sweaty spine. This was so good. He didn’t know how he could live without such intense pleasure before.

“Please… please,” he whined feeling that Adam was still pushing himself forward, stretching and filling him so full Tommy couldn’t even comprehend or place the feeling it evoked in him. When he thought he couldn’t take anymore Adam finally bottomed out, his balls and hips flush against his ass. He was glad for the opportunity to get some air in his burning lungs while his body adjusted to the intrusion. If a few weeks ago someone said he’d beg for this, he probably would’ve punched him, but here he was, with his husband’s hard dick up in his ass, waiting to be properly fucked by him and he felt no shame or alarm for lowering his guards. He could finally let himself get lost in the feeling, knowing that Adam would take care of him and his newly discovered needs to soothe his soul and hungry body.

The slow dragging and pushing motions made his eyes roll back in his scull again as Adam began to move. They were both slippery enough from the oil to make the motions easy and soon Tommy was a shivering and moaning mess under his husband’s bigger body. He forced himself to look back at Adam. He wanted to watch the concentration and pleasure on his handsome face while he was fucking him with slow but deep rolls of his hips, both hands holding Tommy’s hips. As the strokes became longer their eyes met and the look on Adam’s face took the blonde’s breathe away while he was pulling him back by his hips to meet the thrusts. That look was so primal, so filled with lust and swirling emotions that Tommy wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He just let the other man take what he could offer. The magical moment was broken when Adam slid a big hand down Tommy’s sweaty back and rubbed along his side too, making the blond shiver and moan.

“Fuck yourself on my cock…” he heard the low request and felt Adam stop moving all together. The lack of stimulation was so overwhelming that Tommy didn’t even think just obeyed shifting his weight a little to be able to buck against that beautiful big dick. “Shit… such a good boy…” Adam groaned watching him writhe on his cock.

Tommy should have felt offended being called a ‘good boy’ as if he was some kind of pet, but to his greatest surprise his protest died on his tongue and deep down he felt a strange satisfaction from the praise. Because it was a compliment for obeying, and in exchange the young king just fucked himself harder and faster on Adam’s shaft. He wanted more.

“I… want,” he moaned unable to stop the words.

“What? What is it that you want? Tell me…” Adam cooed into his ear as he covered the smaller body with his own, nibbling on the piercings in Tommy’s ear.

“Ahhh…” he groaned from the new sensation and he had to swallow hard before he could continue it. “I want to feel you… for days… Fuck me… harder… please! _Please_!”

Adam’s response was a hoarse and satisfied growl while he started meeting Tommy’s backward thrusts, making the blonde gasp for air. He knew that this angle was great for deep grinding and he did exactly that until Tommy was begging and moaning non-stop. Only then did he straighten up and put his arms around Tommy to pull him up with him into a kneeling position. Once the blonde’s back was pressed against Adam’s chest and his legs open wide next to Adam’s thighs the dark-haired man made him sit on his hard cock and slid both hands back on the narrow hips to keep him in place. Tommy reached back to hold on to Adam’s nape and a tattooed arm as he arched his back.

“Ready?” he grunted digging his fingers into Tommy’s hips. The blonde knew that it’d leave bruises but he didn’t mind. He wanted his release so badly that he couldn’t think clearly anymore.

“Yes…” he whimpered needy and kissed the underside of Adam’s chin. “Please...”

And that was all Adam needed to start pounding hard into Tommy. He watched him and listened to his moans mesmerized. His eyes were glued to Tommy’s face as his head lolled back on Adam’s shoulder. The long dark eyelashes fanned out over his flushed cheeks and the swollen lips slightly opened for the moans of pleasure. Adam kept up the crazy pace, knowing that they both were very close. He slid a hand up on the sweaty stomach and chest to grab Tommy’s jaw and angle his face until he could push his tongue deep into his mouth. The kiss was heated, all tongues and teeth, and Adam had to bat Tommy’s hand from his leaking cock so he could wank him fast and hard until all became too much and they both came loud and hard.

They collapsed back on the bed landing on their sides. Their limbs were entangled and Adam was still pulsing the last of his cum into his husband’s ass. The smell of sex and sweat was heavy in the air, but neither of them seemed to mind while they were trying to catch their breath.

Tommy was the first to move. He turned his head back and pressed a soft kiss on Adam’s lips before he watched the other man lift his messed up hand up and lick the blonde’s cum off his fingers. The sight was so arousing that Tommy’s spent cock made a weak attempt to get hard again, but it was too soon. But that didn’t stop him from leaning closer to help Adam clean his hand before their mouths were sealed in another deep kiss.

“You good?” Adam asked softly caressing Tommy’s still flushed and sweaty cheek.

“Yes,” he smiled blushing some more. “I… needed this,” he admitted.

Adam gave him a bright and satisfied smile, his now dark-grey eyes shining. “I’m glad I could help then,” he whispered and slowly slid out of him. He pulled back enough to reach the cloth on the nightstand and wet it to clean up both of them.

They didn’t break the silence after that as Adam snuggled close to Tommy’s back again, kissing into his damp hair. The smaller man closed his eyes and sighed satisfied. This time he didn’t overthink just let himself float and soon drift off into an exhausted sleep.

He didn’t know Adam was watching him for a long time after pulling the cover up to their waist as their bodies cooled off. He gently stroked out the wet hair from his husband’s pretty face, thinking about how lucky he got with getting such a king. His heart was beating a little faster remembering how perfectly Tommy submitted to him for the first time. It was beautiful and Adam felt his heart swell, the unsaid words and emotions swirling in him. But he knew it wasn’t time yet. But soon. If things continue going like this between them, soon he can tell Tommy how easily he managed to wrap him around his slender fingers. Adam was lost again, but unlike in the past when he couldn’t find his place, now he didn’t mind. This was a good kind of lost. The one where he lost himself in someone else. Someone worthy.


	8. Losing What I Don't Deserve

**Chapter 8  
Losing What I Don’t Deserve**

Things were even better between Adam and Tommy after that night when the blonde submitted to him completely for the first time. The harvest time was approaching and they were both busy preparing for the usual one-week long festivity that accompanied that. As Tommy learned to know they offered sacrifices for each of the gods and goddesses in hope of protection, good grace and a prosperous harvest. People from all over the kingdom came to Oudjat to offer their gifts and prayers during the festivities. Such events required musicians too and there were enough arriving from far away lands too as the harvest festivities were quite famous.

The market was buzzing with life and appeared to be much more crowded than usual. It wasn’t an illusion as it grew in size too, occupying the surrounding streets and parts of the riverbank as well. The whole city was preparing. One could see people decorating their houses, the streets and parks or putting together food, flowers, grains, meat and small animals as offerings.

Deep down Tommy was feeling excited too as this would be his first harvest in his new home. Adam told him that at nights wine, ale and all kinds of liquor were flowing freely during and after the feast and Tommy couldn’t wait to see that after looking after all the duties a king was required to do. But there was another reason why he was looking forward to the upcoming week’s end. On the last day of the harvest festivities Adam promised to take Tommy up to the temple and reveal the secrets of the Lambert family. The wisdom and teachings and all the other secrets that were kept hidden from everyone besides the royal family. When Tommy was thinking about that, he felt a good kind of anticipation building up in him while counting the hours to get there.

The festivities began and each day was a success. During the days people were out on the fields harvesting the grain, rice and sugar canes, while at the evenings they offered their gratitude to their gods and goddesses. And then the feast and the merriment started, which – for Tommy and Adam often ended up in heated kisses and getting lost in pleasure between the sheets.

Everything went well until the fifth day of the celebration. That night – after a few ale – Tommy was surprised by a musician band which began playing after the previous band was finished. As he was sitting by the table in the dining hall next to his husband, he turned to the musicians when he heard a few familiar notes and then he nearly dropped his cup. Confusion then happiness lit up his pretty face as he recognized a lean man with light-brown hair. Carlo.

Tommy just smiled to himself and handed Neil’s sleeping little boy back to his father so he could take him back to his room. The little fella seemed to quickly grow to Tommy to the great amusement of the brothers and his grandparents, but Tommy didn’t mind. Kids seemed to like him for some reason and he had practice with his niece, Bridget. Leaning back in his armchair he raised his cup to sip from his ale while listening to the music and keeping an eye on the musicians on the small stage. Soon enough his eyes met Carlo’s and that familiar mischievous white smile flashed as he bowed with his violin. Tommy nodded in recognition, a small smile playing on his lips.

“They’re good, aren’t they?” he suddenly heard Adam’s voice from his left and he had to nod again.

“Yes, very entertaining,” he turned to look at his husband and remind himself where he was. Seeing his ex-lover and guitar teacher brought back some fond memories.

“The violinist is very talented. I remember him coming back a few times through the years to play on the festivities. His name is Carlo, if I remember clearly,” Adam continued, surprising Tommy a little that he knew him by his name.

“I know. I remember him well from my home. He used to teach me how to play my guitar,” he admitted.

“Fabulous! Then we shall have a few words with him later. Now… drink something stronger with me,” Adam grinned and Tommy already felt a little warmer from that smile. He knew it was the kind that was only for the blonde. How could he say no to such a request? He accepted the first round of many and drank with Adam, but in the back of his mind he was wondering how that conversation would go between him, Adam and his ex-lover.

***

The drinks were flowing freely that night too and Tommy – despite the fact that he claimed he couldn’t dance – found himself among the dancing people more than once. Now Brad was dragging him to some of his friends, barely letting Tommy recover from his dance with Ashley. He found the brunette man quite amusing although most of the time he was just listening to him babbling about the latest gossips in the palace. The young king was dancing and chuckling on Brad’s comments. He glimpsed towards the royal table when he felt Adam’s eyes on him. His husband grinned watching them fondly and raised his cup. Tommy did the same then turned back to his dancing partner.

Soon enough he let his eyes wander around, Brad’s words melting together into a constant buzz as the strong drinks made Tommy see the world in a quite pretty light. He knew he was near of being wasted, but he was having too much fun to care. He spotted his personal guard, Isaac near a wall kissing one of the pretty servant girls. Tommy hazily remembered that she was called Sophie. He smirked from his friend’s luck and let his eyes wander further only to be captured by a pair of familiar dark-brown eyes that looked black from this distance. The tall man nodded towards the door beside him that led to one of the corridors and Tommy nodded barely noticeable.

“Excuse me, I have to take a piss,” Tommy said to Brad who giggled loud.

“Oh my, is a king allowed to use such words?” he snort-giggled again, making Tommy grin.

“Sure. We make laws too, remember?” he answered as if it explained everything and patted his shoulder and let one of his friends pull Brad with him.

Tommy glimpsed into Adam’s direction once more, but he was busy talking to one of the rich nobles of the palace whose name the intoxicated blonde couldn’t remember. He made his way towards the doorway under which the tall man had disappeared. It took him a few minutes until he could get through the crowd and step on the semi-dark corridor. A few steps ahead he saw the familiar figure lean against the painted wall, sipping from his cup.

“Carlo,” Tommy greeted him and when the other man flashed another white smile at him they hugged tight. “It’s been a while. I haven’t heard about you in years. It’s a nice surprise to see you here,” he added as they let each other go and started walking down the corridor.

“Your Majesty, it’s a pleasure to hear such words from you,” he said overly ceremonious, but Tommy knew he was just teasing him so he didn’t comment on it. “It’s been a while, indeed, and I’m pleased to see you in such good health. How’s being a king?”

“Not exactly what I expected, but close,” he admitted. “I cannot complain. The people here gave me a warm welcome. It wasn’t so hard to fit in.”

“I bet. These are nice folks and you’ve got a gorgeous husband as well,” he wiggled his brows as they passed a few drunken people. Tommy nearly slipped on the smooth floor as he turned back, but Carlo’s strong fingers by his elbow steadied him. “Careful, your Majesty.”

“Thank you. Well…” Tommy started, feeling a light blush creep up on his cheeks and was grateful for the shadows on the corridor. “I can’t complain in that department either. King Adam is a good ruler and a caring man. I certainly could’ve ended up in a worse situation.”

“Yes, you could’ve,” the tall man eyed him for a second but his usual smile was already on his face again as they set their empty cups on the tray of a passing servant.

“And what about you? I guess you’ve wandered all around the kingdoms by now. How’s life treating you?”

“Oh I can’t complain either,” he said eyeing a guard for a second as they passed him. “I’ve spent some time here and there, played in most kingdoms and courts. I even had a permanent show in one of the big cities to the west, but you know me. I can’t stay in one place for long,” he shrugged and turned with Tommy on a corner.

“That’s right. You were always very ambitious and bohemian,” Tommy giggled softly and quite drunk. It was a little funny to walk by then, but Carlo didn’t comment on it and the blond saw that familiar smile which showed that he himself had a few drinks too. He was dragged back from his thoughts when Carlo’s grip on his elbow tightened and he suddenly pulled him into an empty room. Tommy nearly fell, but regained his balance only to be pressed against the closed door and look up into the hazy dark eyes from close.

“I’ve missed you, Tommy,” Carlo mumbled and before the young king could say anything, his lips were sealed with a passionate kiss.

If someone asked him, he’d have sworn on all the gods and goddesses of the kingdoms that he didn’t want to return that kiss, but the nice warm buzz caused by the alcohol and the familiarity of those lips and tongue quieted the voices in his head and melted his defenses. He knew it was wrong, but it felt so good and he’s been horny from the drinks for a while now and Adam was still busy with talking… Adam!

“Wait… wait s-stop…” he broke the kiss panting and put his hands on Carlo’s shoulders to push him away, but his body didn’t want to cooperate. “I can’t… I shouldn’t…” he slurred, the words starting to come out harder as he felt those long fingers slide up under his tunic to pull his undergarments down and cup his erection. “Carlo! Shit!” he moaned.

“Please… let me pleasure you… like in the old days…” he panted on his lips and stole another fast and passionate kiss, his hand finding Tommy’s spots. His ex-lover knew exactly how to touch him to make him lose his mind in a second.

“Carlo… I don’t…”

“Please… please, Master,” he panted dropping on his knees in front of him and using that certain tone that always worked on the blonde when they were together.

This time though Carlo seemed too much turned on from Tommy’s closeness and didn’t wait for the permission just suddenly closed his mouth around the sensitive tip. The young king had to bite on his fist to keep the loud moan escaping him as the familiar hot sucking began. He couldn’t think straight anymore and just fisted his other hand in the curly dark hair to push his cock all the way into the eager mouth.

“Fuck…” he groaned against his fist and looked down, his head swimming from the sight and the lust mixed with the alcohol in his blood. He was so pretty and eager down on his knees, wanting to pleasure him. He felt himself slipping back into the past, vivid pictures of their encounters dancing in front of his hazy eyes while he was fucking Carlo’s mouth. The sight of dripping saliva made Tommy growl and fuck the offered mouth and throat faster and harder, knowing that he could take it.

He could always take it, no matter how rough the blond got. Fuck, he missed sharing this with the musician. He saw the other man rub himself under his tunic and the knowledge of that plus the hard sucking on his throbbing hardness proved to be too much for him. He bit his fist harder and muffled curses left him as he bucked uncontrolled into the wet mouth and flooded it with his seed. His head hit the door behind him and his mind registered from the distance that Carlo came into his hand too, but he was too dazed from his orgasm to look down. He managed to stay on his shaky legs until the musician licked him clean. The second Carlo pulled back Tommy landed on his ass, back and head against the painted door as he was fighting for air.

“You still taste so good, Master,” Carlo purred into his ear and kissed him much slower this time before standing up and adjusting his own clothes too. “I’ll see you later,” he winked down at him and slid out of the room, the door closing behind him with a soft click.

Tommy couldn’t say or think anything. He was just sitting there glued to the spot, his breathing slowly evening out. He was a little shocked and still dazed from the booze and his orgasm. Licking his lips he could taste Carlo and his own seed there and it made him sigh bitterly.

“Fuck!” he groaned and buried his face in his hands.

***

Tommy was sporting a significant headache and his memories were quite blurred from the previous night. But sadly he couldn’t forget or avoid the fact that he did cheat with Carlo. It was so sudden and unexpected to see his ex-lover in his new home. He still wasn’t over the fact and the memories he stirred up and the next thing he knew was Carlo down on his knees sucking him off. The young king growled and pushed a wet towel to the back of his neck to cool himself off and stop the room from spinning.

He sighed bitterly as he stared at the table in the chambers he shared with Adam. Adam… Gosh, he felt so ashamed when his husband came into his mind. He vaguely remembered that after Carlo left he stayed there on the floor for a long time before he forced himself to stumble back to their chambers. The distance seemed endless but finally he made it. He was a little relieved to see it empty. He made his way to the bed and undressed, quickly refreshing himself and cleaning up, trying to erase what just happened, but he knew it was no use. Should he tell Adam? Would he be mad? Would he demand a divorce or worse? Tommy rubbed his face clean with a wet cloth and tried to curl up in the huge bed to appear as small as possible. He pulled the light cover over him, trying to hide from the world and himself as he knew it was a mistake. A big one. Because Adam didn’t deserve this… Because this wasn’t what he committed to, what he swore in front of all the people and the gods. He was a cheater now. He felt like scum and he was convinced that he wasn’t anything better than that.

He was still beating himself up and trying to find a way how to tell his husband that he cheated on him with that musician he found so talented, when he heard the now familiar footsteps of the freckled man. He heard him chuckle a little when he saw the small bundle on Tommy’s side of the bed and with a heavy heart Tommy pretended to be asleep when Adam curled around his back, spooning him like they always did lately. He didn’t protest either when the bigger man pulled the cover down from his head to let him breathe freely and kissed the back of his neck, inhaling the blonde’s scent.

Guilt was suffocating Tommy and he had a restless sleep.

By the time he awoke, he was alone. Adam was probably off to eat breakfast or run errands and Tommy felt like a coward. Could he get any more low? He was biting his bottom lip when Sutan walked in with his usual cheerful babbling and steps, only to stop when he saw Tommy. Luckily he must have thought that it was a bad hangover and didn’t start interrogating his king just put some light food in front of him then left him alone.

Tommy was grateful, even if he was dying to ask for his advice. But he knew that he had to make this right alone. As he was nibbling on some bread and fruits, he decided that the best thing would be if he went to Carlo first and told him that it was a mistake and they cannot repeat it, because Tommy cannot do this to Adam… because he… Well, yes. But he cannot say it to someone else before he told about his feelings to Adam. Then… after he settled things with Carlo, he should talk to Adam and see how his husband would react. Will he doubt Tommy from now on? Will he want him to leave? Will he hate him?

Even the thought of that hurt the blonde and he lost the little appetite he had. Rubbing his face with his hands he put his elbows on the table and ran a hand through his messy blond hair too, his fingers absently sliding on the freshly shaved side. He was angry at himself but at Carlo too. He knew his new situation: he was a king now and had a husband. Their common past or the drinks didn’t make any of last night okay. He shouldn’t have started it… he shouldn’t have used that submissive tone Tommy never could resist. Carlo… they shouldn’t have. But he couldn’t change the past. He could only make sure it never happened in the future.

***

It was getting dark by the time Tommy could track down Carlo. He spent most of the day avoiding Adam the best he could, because he couldn’t face him. Not yet. Not before he made sure Carlo understood that nothing could be between them ever again. If Adam noticed this, Tommy couldn’t know but he grabbed the first chance to slip away and look for the musician.

That night Carlo didn’t have any gigs with the band he came with so Tommy found him in the chamber he got on a lower level of the palace. Luckily there were fewer guards here so Tommy didn’t have to worry about rumors. He knocked on his ex-lover’s door and soon enough he was let in.

“Tommy… I knew you’d come soon,” Carlo moved closer as the door was shut, but this time the blonde’s hand on the taller man’s chest stopped him.

“Carlo, please, stop. I’m not here for that. We have to talk,” Tommy started looking up into the seemingly hopeful eye, but it quickly darkened seeing the young king’s expression.

“Oh… alright. Please come in,” he stepped back and waved towards a small table with two chairs.

Tommy nodded and made his way to one of the chairs and sat down while collecting his thoughts.

“So… what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“You really don’t know, Carlo?” he asked on a disbelieving tone. “About last night, of course.”

“What about it? I thought we had fun, but judging your expression I’m not so sure about that anymore,” the other man said sitting down into the other chair.

“No, we did have fun… but it was a mistake.”

“What are you saying?” he asked wanting to see clear.

“I cannot let that happen ever again. I’m married now and I don’t want to have a lover.”

“What? You fell for the husband that was chosen for you?” Carlo grinned teasingly as he knew Tommy’s view about arranged marriages.

Tommy just blushed and shrugged, suddenly finding the fabric of his light tunic fascinating.

“Oh this is good,” Carlo chuckled shortly and cleared his throat “but hey, I understand. I’ve got a little carried away last night. I was just so happy to see you again and well… I’ve missed you too and drank a little more than I should have. But I don’t regret it.”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. It all happened so quickly and it did feel good, but…”

“I know, I know,” he waved him off with his hand and stood to fetch a painted jug with wine and two cups “you’re in love with your husband and all… Did you tell him last night yet? Or you want to keep it a secret?” he asked returning to the small table and put the cups down, pouring for Tommy first then to himself too.

“No! No, I don’t think I should. I want to be able to be honest with him. I just wanted to clear things with you first. What we had should stay in the past. Agreed?”

Carlo watched him silently for a couple of seconds then he slowly nodded with a dark little smile in the corner of his mouth. “Very well. Agreed. But I won’t let you go before drinking a cup for old times’ sake,” he sighed then smiled as he raised his cup.

“I don’t know. I should go find Adam and talk to him…” Tommy said unsure.

“Please, Tommy. Just one cup,” Carlo pleaded seeing the hesitation on the king’s face. “ _Please_ … Then you can confess and make up and fall into your king’s arms,” he rolled his eyes smirking.

“Alright, alright,” Tommy sighed and smiled a little too. “For old times’ sake,” he said clinking the cups together. He quickly drank half of it and looked back at Carlo.

“Do you still play your guitar?” the other man asked, watching him closely.

“Yes. Occasionally. Now that I think of it, much more often since I came here. It reminds me of home and Adam likes it a lot. He has a great voice. I even wrote a few songs,” he nodded and drank the rest of his wine.

“You should show me some time,” Carlo grinned putting his own cup down, his wine untouched.

“Alright. How long will you stay?” Tommy asked suppressing a yawn. All the secrecy and avoiding Adam was more tiring than he thought.

“Not long.”

“We’ll find some time then… But now I really should go,” he stood and wanted to head towards the door but had to grab the edge of the table. “This hangover is a killer…” he said as he nearly lost his balance.

He heard Carlo’s chuckle and turned his head to say something, but his vision got blurry and his ears started ringing. Slowly his mind caught up and Tommy realized that this wasn’t caused by the hangover.

“Carlo… I don’t feel… too well…” he moaned lifting his hand to his head and took an unsteady step.

“I know. Sleep well, my sweet prince,” Tommy heard from a distance as he felt himself fall forward then before he could hit the floor, everything went black.


	9. When Metal Meets Sand

**Chapter 9  
When Metal Meets Sand**

Something was wrong. He felt it in his bones but he couldn’t move a single muscle as he slipped in and out of consciousness. It took some time until he recognized the sounds of hurrying footsteps and hushed whispers. They weren’t talking to him. They were talking over his head. A strange lifting motion made him realize that he was being adjusted in someone’s arms as he was carried somewhere. He wanted to open his eyes to see where he was and who was carrying him, but his eyelids felt like lead.

“Cover his head,” the stranger’s voice seeped into Tommy’s mind and he felt that something was thrown over him. Probably a thin material.

Why did they want to cover his head? What was going on? And what were all the shouting in the distance about? He whimpered slightly as he was trying to fight his paralyzed muscles, willing them to obey him, but they still didn’t want to move. Tommy’s mind started to panic. What the hell? The panic and racing thoughts at least eased the haziness over his mind and he could think a little clearer. He tried to trace back what’d happened…

He woke with a bitch of a headache thanks to the drinks he had on the festivities. He had to think about something… figure out an important thing… What was it again? It made him feel guilty… he wanted to go see Adam afterwards. Adam! Yes, now he knew. He cheated on him with… Carlo. Carlo! Yes, he went to see Carlo and tell him that they could only be friends… he seemed to understand… then what happened exactly? They… shared a drink and that’s when he started to feel funny.

_I was drugged!_

The realization made his body jerk and the man carrying him cursed and readjusted him again.

“Did you give him enough? He’s starting to stir,” Tommy heard from above and he tried to get free. He didn’t know this man but the voice that answered him was way too familiar.

“Yes. He should be out cold and even if not, he won’t be able to get away. The herbs have a paralyzing effect on his muscles,” Carlo explained and suddenly Tommy felt anger boil in his blood.

_What the hell?!_

What was his ex-lover doing? Where were they taking him? Was this… No, it couldn’t be a kidnapping! Why would they do that? And what the hell was all the noise about? It got louder and terrified Tommy’s mind when he finally understood what he was hearing: screaming and metal meeting metal. Who was fighting? Why were they fighting?!

Tommy heard people running nearby but it seemed no one wanted to stop them. Where they sneaking through the shadows? The young king wanted to scream and shout to make the guards, people, anyone notice them. He wanted to cry for Adam’s help. He would surely come if he could just make his vocal chords work! He’ll save him, stop Carlo and this unknown man to take him wherever they were headed.

_Adam!_

The yellow and red colors he saw through his closed eyelids worried Tommy too. He could hear and feel the heat of fire too. The sharp smell of smoke filled his nose and he could nearly see the city in flames. This beautiful city, his new home. Will it be okay? Will the people be okay? It was obvious they were being under attack. Who was the enemy? The southern kingdoms’ men? Was Carlo taking him to them or did he have another goal?

He wanted to ask him, to shout at him. He collected all of his strength and slightly jerked in the bigger man’s arms. It took him by surprise and he nearly lost his balance. Tommy felt the cover partly slip off his face and finally he managed to open his eyes a little. It was as he feared. The city was burning at parts and people were fighting all around.

“Adam…” he managed to whisper although he saw only guards fighting rough looking men. “Adam!” he repeated a little louder as he took a glimpse of black hair and a fierce pair of blue eyes through the fire. Maybe it was just his imagination. He didn’t know and couldn’t decide while he was being carried towards the river and the docks.

“He’s coming around, Carlo,” the big man warned the traitor he used to call his friend and lover.

“We’re nearly at the ship,” he said over the noise of fighting.

Why didn’t anyone notice them?! Tommy had to do something before they reached that ship they were talking about. He had to prevent them from taking him to gods know where! He squirmed again despite the stronger hold around his slim body. He was lucky because the guy stumbled and had to go down on one knee not to drop him while regaining his balance. Tommy’s muscles still felt like lead but at least he had a little control over them by then. He squirmed as best as he could and ignored the cursing of the stranger. He was so close to get free, but he forgot about Carlo.

_Big mistake_ , he thought as suddenly pain exploded at the back of his head and his barely regained vision and consciousness blurred and once more gave way to empty darkness.

***

Adam was standing in one of the higher terraces of the palace. He rested his bandaged hand on the stone balustrade while looking over the city. The new ugly black scars of Oudjat were still smoking here and there but luckily the people managed to stop the fire before it could do more damage. The young king turned his face, revealing a small healing cut from the line of his thick eyebrow down to his left temple. If he was lucky it wouldn’t scar. But that wasn’t his biggest concern at the moment.

“You wanted to see me?” his brother Neil asked as he walked closer. He didn’t look better either. He had a bruise on his cheek and on numerous parts of his body, but he didn’t seem to care as he was focused on his older brother. This time the constant sarcasm was missing from his face and was replaced by something that resembled worry.

“Yes…” Adam managed to grit through his teeth. He was still angry and hurt and the feeling of betrayal was pounding in his chest like poison.

“What’s that?” Neil asked. As usual, he had a good eye for details and he noticed the crumpled paper under Adam’s healthy left hand.

As an answer his brother handed him the paper that appeared to be a letter. Neil frowned and opened it to be able to read it.

 

_“My dear husband,_

_I’m sorry, but I couldn’t pretend to be happy on your side anymore. My heart always belonged to another and during the festivities that man came back into my life, heart and bed. So I decided to go with him and let you move on with your life too and find a king who fits you better than me. I can only hope you won’t hate me and my country too much._

_TJR”_

 

“What the flying fuck?!” Neil burst out and looked up at his brother clearly shocked. “Did Tommy write this?”

“It was intended to make me believe that.”

“But you don’t.”

“No,” Adam snorted shaking his head and he glimpsed at the crumpled papyrus as if it was something he could kill with a look. “First of all, he never called me ‘my dear husband’, second, it’s clearly a forgery. It’s not his handwriting. I saw that in person while we were dealing with the kingdoms’ issues. Thirdly, he is just not that good of an actor. That’s not what I saw when I last looked into his eyes. And he would never do this to his own country either.”

“What are you saying then? And who’s that man the letter mentions? Any ideas?” Neil’s frown deepened and it was clear that he was already thinking hard on the possibilities what might be going on.

“I think someone wants me to believe that Tommy cheated on me and ran off with that guy… I’m sure that violinist, Carlo. Tommy mentioned that he knew him from back home. He was his guitar teacher or something.”

“Maybe he was more and he really ran off with him and asked someone to write this letter in his name…” Neil suggested.

“No. I don’t believe Tommy’d be capable of cheating on me and leaving like this. Like a coward. He’s not a coward. I think it’s a trick. Don’t you think it’s suspicious that this happened during the festivities and on the exact night when our city was attacked by the southerners?” he looked up into his brother’s dark eyes. “Our family doesn’t believe in coincidences, remember?”

“But you still have doubts…” Neil said after studying his brother’s familiar face. Even as children he could tell when Adam lied or doubted himself or when one of Neil’s sarcastic remarks got to him. That ability of his was still working after all those years.

“Maybe…” he sighed turning back to the city and fisted both his hands, ignoring the slight pain in his bandaged right one. It was cut during the fights when they were defending the city against the enemy that seemed to appear from thin air. They knew it wasn’t possible and that probably they snuck in through the gates in disguise among the people who came to the harvest festivities.

“And why is that? Because he didn’t like the idea of arranged marriage? I know about that, but you think he was unhappy on your side?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so…”

“Adam… brother,” Neil said stepping next to him and he squeezed the slightly taller king’s shoulder “one only have to look at you and they can see that you both are in love with each other. It’s as clear as the midday sun.”

“You really think so? You think Tommy feels the same towards me as I feel about him?” Adam asked trying to appear calm, but the hope was clear in his eyes. From that Neil knew that his brother and the blonde didn’t get to confess their feelings yet.

“Yes,” he nodded confidently. “He likes it here. And if you say that this letter is forgery then we shall talk to father and discuss this matter. He always gives good advice.”

“You must be right. I’m worried about him. It’s been two days and the guards couldn’t find him anywhere. Tommy’s not here in Oudjat and I fear the worst…”

“We’ll find out the truth soon enough, brother. Until then we have to focus on rebuilding the city and triple the guards as it seems doubling them wasn’t enough. We can’t afford to lose more men.”

“Yes. And I’ll have to send word to the Sea too about what happened here. They should prepare. War is coming nearer.”

“Did you pray to the gods?” Neil asked as they headed back into the palace. For a second his eyes skipped up to the dome of the temple then back to his brother’s profile.

“Not yet. But I’ll do a ritual tomorrow night,” he answered quietly, his eyes fixed on the smooth marble under their feet.

“You do that brother. Maybe they’ll guide your… our way,” he frowned lightly and saw Adam nod.

The older brother really hoped they would help light his way to see clearer.

***

Tommy slowly woke with a moan as the back of his head was throbbing painfully. For a minute he had no idea what had happened or where he was. Or why his whole world was rocking. It was dark and the air smelled damp and salty. Once his head wasn’t spinning so much he finally realized that he was in the belly of a ship. How the hell did he get there?!

It brought back memories of his childhood and early teenager years when he used to go on trips or fishing on the sea. Now the situation was far from those pleasant occasions. As he sat up on the uncomfortable sack barely filled with hay he heard the rattle of chains. It was attached to a shackle around his ankle. He reached down in the darkness and traced it with his fingers. It was tight and already started irritating his sensitive skin.

Where were they taking him? What were Carlo and that big guy thinking kidnapping him like this? To what end? Judging by the shouts coming from above on a different language, Tommy had a good and scary guess where they were headed. It wasn’t really cold but he was shaking, his teeth rattling as he pulled his legs up and hugged his knees to his chest. That cold came from the inside and maybe he had a mild concussion from the hit to his head.

As his fingers traced the ugly bump by his nape he didn’t feel any blood on his fingers, but his eyes still rounded in the dark. He didn’t care about the dim outlines of objects he could make out. He was thinking about the circumstances of his kidnapping. Oudjat was clearly attacked… There were fights and fire… Just how many of their attackers could get inside? Did the Sand manage to fight back? To protect the city against the sneaky and cowardly attack? He knew that there were casualties, but he had no idea just how big that number was. Did Adam survive? And Neil? And everyone else whom Tommy closed into his heart?

An ugly feeling made his stomach flip again and his headache got worse when he thought about the possibility that everyone was dead. Would his homeland be next? He couldn’t bear that thought either… He could see the castle by the Sea in flames with everyone dead too clearly. He barely had time to crawl as far as his chains let him to retching into a corner. The smell just made him puke harder until only dry heaving and a bitch of a headache was left. He hated the bitter taste of bile in his mouth. He spit a few times and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he crawled back on the sack. He sighed and leaned back against the side of the ship behind him, closing his eyes. What was he going to do now?

What if everyone was dead and no one would come to free him? He has to come up with a plan and quickly. He won’t let his kidnappers break his will. But first he had to learn his intentions. If he was lucky, maybe he could talk some sense into Carlo. After all once they were close. He had no idea what made him change like this… The little shit laced his drink with something and kidnapped him! Tommy never would’ve thought he was capable of doing something like this to him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the throbbing of his head. He should try to sleep and regain his strength while he could. He knew he’d need that.

***

The young king was awakened by a harsh kick in his ribs. It knocked the air out of his lungs. “What the hell?!” he groaned in pain and still half asleep. At least his headache lessened somewhat but it was still there. His mind though quickly woke from the unfamiliar hoarse chuckle above him. He looked up to see a dirty man. He was muscular and reeked of sweat. He was wearing only some brown and dirty baggy pants and a brown leather west. Sweat was glistening on his hairy chest and over his brows. The cruel smirk made Tommy uneasy as he prepared to duck the next kick if necessary.

“Get up, your highness! Your meal is served,” the man grumbled and dropped a piece of dry bread and a bowl of water in front of Tommy.

“Who are you and where are you taking me?” he demanded to know as he sat up, not caring that half of the water was spilled on the floor.

“That’s not my job to tell,” the guy snorted and was already on his way towards the door.

“It was you… You carried me out of Oudjat!” Tommy realized from the sounds of his heavy steps and the way he talked.

“Indeed. Now eat,” he instructed and banged the heavy door shut behind him.

Tommy could hear the key turn in the lock and then he was alone again. He looked at his poor excuse of a meal and sighed. He wanted to leave it untouched, fearing that it was laced with something again, but his stomach was grumbling and his mouth felt dry like the desert. With a resigned sigh and wondering if anyone would come to explain what the hell was going on, he reached for the rest of the water and forced himself to take just a little sip. After that he nibbled on the dry bread and tried to come up with a plan.

This small ritual was repeated twice each day. It was at least something to which Tommy could measure how much time had passed since he came around. During his captivity no one came to explain the situation to him. The only change he could faintly sense was the quality of air. It was still hot but it got filled with the smell of ash. First he thought there was a fire somewhere, bringing back the memory of a burning Oudjat in his mind, but then he realized it was normal there as no one from the crew yelled about it to warn the others. This air scratched the back of Tommy’s throat but he tried not to cough.

On the fifth day of his captivity the door opened again. He thought it was the grumpy man with some more food and water, but he wasn’t alone this time. Behind his wide shoulders Carlo stepped into the tiny room. Hot white rage surged up in Tommy and in the next second he was already on his feet, despite the throbbing in his head and his protesting muscles. He wanted to jump on the man he once called his lover to claw his eyes out or at least punch him good, but the shackle on his ankle stopped him and he nearly landed on the floor.

“Easy there, tiger!” Carlo chuckled and nodded to the big man to hold Tommy down. The prince now saw the ropes and something that appeared to be like a black sack.

“What the fuck are you doing, Carlo?! Where are you taking me and most importantly, why?!” Tommy shouted with rage.

“You’ll learn it soon enough. We arrived to our destination,” he sneered and looked at the big guy, completely ignoring Tommy’s fuming. “Tie his hands behind his back before you free his leg. He’s no stranger to fighting,” he warned the big guy who just grunted as an answer and in the next moment Tommy felt a strong grip immobilizing his hands. He tried to get free, but there was no use and it just made the ties cut into his wrists.

“Please, don’t do this, Carlo. This isn’t you… What did I do against you to deserve this?” Tommy looked back at the taller man.

“Shut the fuck up, Tommy. Apparently you know nothing. My motifs are my own. Now… since you reek so much first we’ll have to take you somewhere where we can clean you up. But we’ll keep everything a surprise,” he smirked unpleasantly and before Tommy could protest the sack was pulled over his head, preventing him from seeing anything.

Once again he could rely only on his other senses as he was pushed forward and up on the stairs. When he stumbled a rough hand of the big guy steadied him by his shoulder. He could tell he was led off the ship to a noisy harbor. He could hear people chatting around and some even made funny remarks about him and his company. He ignored that. He could smell the ash in the air more and a low grumbling could be heard from the distance. Was it coming from the depths of the earth? He couldn’t tell exactly, but it felt like that. And if they were where he suspected they were then it made sense to believe so.

The walk to the place where he was led to clean up wouldn’t have been too long, but his muscles were weak and trembling from the lack of moving around in his prison. But soon he was pushed through a door. The heat wasn’t that bad inside and then the sack came off his head and he could look around. It was a simple house. He was standing in the middle of a bathroom chamber. For a second he looked longingly at the pool sunk into the floor as it was filled with fresh water, but his attention was drawn back to the big guy and Carlo when the latter started talking.

“Don’t even dream of trying to escape. We have guards everywhere,” he warned as big guy freed Tommy’s wrists.

The blond man rubbed them with a neutral face. He knew Carlo was right. They’d probably kill or at least beat him for any attempt.

“Take off your clothes and get into the water. Wash yourself clean. You have five minutes,” Carlo said on an emotionless voice.

Tommy felt uncomfortable under their gazes, but he obeyed. What else could he have done? Besides he craved to feel a bit cleaner. He let his dirty clothes fall on the floor and took off his light shoes too. A maid came and took them quickly. Tommy followed Carlo’s gaze which fell on the healing bruising on his ribs where big guy kicked him a few days ago. They didn’t say anything though and to make himself less uncomfortable the young king quickly dove into the water. It’s amazing how a simple thing like this could lift someone’s spirit in such a situation. He found soap and a wash cloth on the edge of the pool and he quickly got to work.

Once his hair and body was as clean as possible in the given circumstances he looked up at the two men. The previous girl was standing next to them. Tommy knew she was a slave because of the thick leather collar with an iron ring on the front and the simple clothes she was wearing. That, and the way she averted her eyes. She was holding a simple black tunic on her arm and matching sandals in one hand.

“Stop daydreaming and let her dress you!” Carlo snorted and once again Tommy had no other choice than to obey while he swore vengeance against his kidnappers. Soon he was dressed in the foreign clothes and although this tunic was longer, it bothered and maybe worried him a bit that he got no undergarment. He really hoped they just forgot, but he didn’t dare to draw their attention to that.

Wrists tied together behind his back, sack on his head and they were already on their way again. This walk was longer than the previous one and by the time they entered a place which felt huge and much cooler even without his sight, Tommy felt a thin layer of sweat form on his skin again. His senses were so focused on collecting information from his surroundings that first he was a little surprised when suddenly the sack was pulled off his head and he was roughly pushed forward. He lost his balance before he could take a glimpse around and his knees made painful and bruising contact with the hard stone floor underneath. Somehow he managed not to fall further forward so he looked up just from kneeling. It was humiliating enough this way too.

From one glace he knew he was in a palace, kneeling at the first of the stone stairs which led up to the main throne. A very muscular and very bald man with cruel black eyes and grayish black beard was sitting on it. Tommy saw an old scar cross his broad and hairy chest as he wasn’t wearing anything on his upper body except some kind of a pendant on a black leather stripe. He had black loose pants tucked into soft black leather boots. A dark smile was playing on his thin lips as he watched Tommy, who jerked his head to the side to make his long fringe fall out of his eyes while he was fighting an uneasy feeling.

“King Thomas Joe Ratliff,” Carlo started mockingly “meet Captain Vito, the ruler of the Land of the Volcanoes…”


	10. Underneath and Inside

**Chapter 10  
Underneath and Inside**

The intense smoke of incense and burning herbs were curling upwards in the air, surrounding the calmly sitting figure in the temple, which was lit only by the full moon’s silver light. He was muttering ancient words as he was inhaling the heady smoke. He let his senses be lulled by them, drawing the all-seeing eye on his forehead with the blood of the dove he sacrificed for guidance and visions that could help him on his quest of finding Tommy.

For the longest time there was silence in the temple while Adam was sitting cross-legged, listening first inside to find the inner core of his being that allowed him to step to a higher level of consciousness and understanding through his meditation. He never stopped mumbling the ancient words on a language that very few knew anymore. He had no idea how much time have passed – minutes or hours? It didn’t matter. He knew that guidance from above wouldn’t come if rushed. For the time being he let go of his confused and hurt feelings and cleared his mind until he could feel that unique trance coming.

Time slowed down and the shadows of the temple seemed to stir. The smoke and the cinder in the bowl in front of Adam froze. He slowly opened his eyes and looked behind the altar he was facing. His eyes traveled upwards to the painted columns by the back of the temple and watched as one of the shadows took the shape of a lithe female figure. She had a floating white dress and golden jewels on her fingers, wrists, ankles and under her breasts on the low-cut dress. In her neck a necklace formed the same female figure spreading her wings. Her dark chin-long hair seemed to radiate beauty and she wore a golden head band around her head.

Adam looked into the intensely glowing black eyes in the beautiful and flawless face. He nodded respectfully and let out a tiny sigh of relief. “Aset, I’m honored to be in your company again,” he greeted and thanked the goddess of nature, magic and family.

“It’s been a while, young Adam,” she said on a soft voice that rang like the tiniest silver bells, reminding Adam of home and warmth. It made him relax further.

“Indeed. Do you know, my Goddess, why I summoned you?” he asked gently. Although this wasn’t the first time, he knew he had to talk to the celestial being with respect if he didn’t want to bring her wrath on him, his family and people. It was never easy to converse with such beings, but one of his family’s secret teachings was for the new generations to learn how to do that.

“For my guidance. As usual.”

“Yes, if you’d give it to me,” he nodded with a light frown.

“I know what bothers you, young king.”

“You do, my lady?” he whispered although he wasn’t surprised.

“You are missing your other half. You finally found him just to lose him again in the blink of an eye.”

“Did… did I lose him?” he asked shakily, dreading the worst.

“Does it feel like that, Adam?” she asked with the tiniest smile as she slowly walked into the moonlight and turned her graceful back to the human. She looked down at the city underneath. “Look deep inside of you and you’ll find the answer to your question.”

Adam frowned a little more but closed his eyes and concentrated. In a minute or so he realized that underneath his worry and doubts he could still feel a flicker… that connection he felt so strongly around his husband. “No, I haven’t.”

Aset put a slim hand on the column to her right, but didn’t answer. “Oudjat has suffered already, but this wasn’t the end of it,” she said softly and turned back to Adam. She stretched out her hand as a gesture of inviting him there. The dark-haired man stood and in the next moment he was in front of the shorter woman, who still seemed taller than him. Moving around in this state never took any effort. By now he was used to it.

Her words worried Adam greatly and he took it as a warning. “There’ll be war…” he whispered looking into the clear face after realizing what her words meant.

“Most likely,” she nodded still holding Adam’s bigger hand. Her touch was warm but still unreal. “Your heart and strength will be tested, young king. Your actions will determine the fate of your people, your king and yourself. Succeed and Oudjat will blossom once again. Fail and only ash and sand will remain,” she warned.

Adam swallowed hard and nodded in understanding. “But will I find him? Where is he?”

The goddess smiled and put a slim hand on Adam’s cheek. “You ask questions to which you already know the answers,” she whispered on a fading voice, her whole being becoming more and more transparent as a breeze swiped through the temple, but Adam could still feel her gentle and encouraging kiss on his forehead before she completely disappeared.

In a minute he opened his blue eyes for real and turned his head towards the entrance of the temple, the smoke and cinder already gone. In two seconds one of the high priests slid through the crack of the doors and quietly came closer with a rolled-up parchment.

“Forgive me for bothering your prayers, my king, but you may want to take a look at this. It was just delivered by a black crow,” he said and handed the parchment over while the picture of the crow he saw while Aset kissed his forehead just made sense to him.

He nodded to the priest who retreated and Adam’s attention got fully drawn to the letters on the paper. His face first got red with anger then paled with dread. “Call for my parents, brother, Longineu and Isaac. We’ll have to summon the war council…” he whispered and waved the priest off as he reread the parchment. He said a silent thank you and a prayer for Aset… and for the lives of his whole country. And especially for Tommy’s.

***

“But father, it’s important to act as soon as possible!” Adam’s hand came down on the table with a loud thud, making the objects rattle and move a little on the surface.

“Adam, be reasonable. You are blinded by your emotions. We have to come up with a tactic and wait for Ron and his men from the Sea to join us. They are already on their way. Then we’ll have to gather our armies. We can’t attack or go after the southerners without being prepared. You saw what they managed to do to our city even with us being careful,” Eber said sitting by the table next to the worried queen, who stood up and walked next to his eldest son.

The devastated and guilty looking Isaac, Tommy’s bodyguard and Longineu, the dark-skinned head of the Sand’s security were staring at the two parchments lying on the table. Now both were crumpled thanks to the young king’s anger.

“Adam, sweetheart, I know this isn’t easy for you,” Leila started putting a hand on Adam’s forearm “but your father is right. Kidnapping Tommy probably served the purpose to confuse you and make your emotions blind you so you’d make hasty decisions and thus mistakes to our enemy’s advantage.”

“But mother… I can’t leave Tommy in the claws of those barbarians!” he uttered with dread in his blue eyes. He’d heard the stories. “I have to go after him now that I know for sure that along with the attack of the city, the previous letter was a forgery to buy time for their escape. What if…”

“Please, stop it right there,” Isaac shook his head. “I feel responsible for letting this all happen. I should’ve been on his side all the time. Therefore if you’d send me after him…”

“No. We have to wait for Ron’s arrival,” Eber cut in and frowned. “This isn’t just about Tommy, but even if it were, we cannot decide on our own. We are a union with the Sea now. We have to know their opinion too. I’m sorry son, but in the first place we have to think about two… if we count the Land of the Caves too then three nations’ people…”

“What if we split forces?” they heard Neil’s voice as he entered the chamber they were talking in. “Sorry for being late, Joshua got a little sick to the stomach,” he said.

“Oh that poor little thing,” Leila frowned thinking of her grandson. “Is he being taken care of?”

“Yes. Miriam, his mother and Sophie are with him,” Neil nodded, squeezing their mother’s hand before he looked at Adam.

“Sophia is a good healer. The young prince will be well in no time,” Eber smiled lightly then his face hardened again. “What do you mean by splitting forces? Our goal with uniting the countries was to strengthen our lines, not to split and weaken our forces,” Eber interjected before Adam could say anything.

“That’s not what I meant, father,” Neil stepped between Adam and the muscular Longineu. “It is clear that Adam won’t be persuaded to wait and knowing that Captain Vito and Thalia aren’t the best hosts to keep Tommy, I propose an undercover operation.”

“Meaning?” Adam raised a brow, clearly already interested in this alternative.

Neil remained silent for a second while he quickly read the parchment that contained the unreal ransom demands and the conditions of keeping the peace between the nations. Neil snorted and pushed the paper away. His expression told clearly that he thought it was all bullshit and that the captors of Tommy wouldn’t keep themselves to the agreement even if the Sand and the Sea would provide what they wanted. “We have our connections around the southern kingdoms too and I was thinking that a handful of our men in disguise could try to save Tommy. He is strong, but I doubt he’d last long alone against his captors’ ways.”

“That’s a crazy idea, son…” Eber shook his head doubtingly.

“No. It’s brilliant,” Adam cut in. “Who do you have in mind? Or I should rather ask who do you think I should take with me?” he asked after looking into his brother’s eyes. He knew that eager light in the depth of them. He knew his younger brother already had a full plan to rescue his brother-in-law and Adam was already grateful to him.

“Sometimes you aren’t as dumb as you look, brother,” he grinned sarcastically and Adam had to roll his eyes. Yes, Neil was on fire. “I’d surely accompany you…”

“Me too!” Isaac chimed in with a determined expression. “I have to make my mistake right. It’s my duty to protect King Thomas. Please,” he bowed.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Neil grinned and turned to the big black man with the dreadlocks “Longineu, father and the kingdom needs your expertise here,” he said and the head of the royal guards of the Sand nodded in agreement so Neil turned back to Adam. “I’d take Lord Sauli too. He’s one of our best warriors. We could use his speed and sneakiness.”

Adam hesitated for a second. A few years back he and Sauli were involved and for a long time he thought they’d marry one day, but then his father told him about the arranged marriage and they’d decided to break up. Since then they managed to become friends again, but not as close as with Brad.

“Or will that be a problem?” Neil asked raising a brow.

“No. Not at all,” Adam shook his head, knowing that Sauli was a noble man and without hesitation he would gladly help saving their other king.

“Perfect,” Neil nodded looking satisfied. “Now I know this is still only four of us, hardly enough to get to the southern kingdoms and then inside wherever they are holding Tommy captive.”

“He’s in the capital of the Land of the Volcanoes,” Adam cut in.

“How do you know?” Longineu asked on his deep voice.

Adam looked around and his jaw tightened. “Goddess Aset answered my prayers and visited me earlier today. She opened my inner-eye. He’s there,” he said sure about the truth in his words. He knew no one would start arguing about this as they all knew that the guidance of Gods and Goddesses was something they all had to take seriously. Through the years there were very few who actually talked to them face-to-face through visions. For a long time Adam was the only one who won more than a couple of visits from above. It seemed the patron of their country favored the young king. Adam could see in his parents’ eyes that this made them very proud of him.

“Did she tell you anything else?” Eber wanted to know.

“She said that there is little doubt about the war, father. During your reign you could keep up the peace, but sadly those times are over. We’ll have to fight. She also told me that the success or the failure of our united kingdoms depends on my decision. That…” he pointed at the ransom letter “is utter bullshit. Forgive the language. We all saw that the southerners are thirsty for blood. They could’ve smuggled Tommy out of the castle without killing all those men, women and children just to distract us. You really believe, father, that they’d keep themselves to this agreement? That they wouldn’t try to take over after we paid the ransom and granted them their wishes? I’m no dreamer to believe in that. They are not like us,” he shook his head and saw his father slowly nod.

“I don’t like the idea of letting both my sons go on such a suicide mission and leaving the kingdoms without a king…” he started and raised a hand when Adam wanted to cut in “but I am no longer the actual king who makes such decisions. I’m merely an advisor and you clearly thought a lot about this, Adam. Neil’s plan might work as well and I sense it’s not all that he planned,” he glimpsed at his younger son before looking back at Adam. “Tell me then… as king, what do you want to do?”

As Adam put his hands on the table and leaned on them, he suddenly felt lucky that he had such a supportive and frankly brilliant brother and the privilege to talk to the higher powers as it finally seemed that they were persuading the others. He knew he could’ve taken up on Neil’s offer without their father agreeing to it – after all Eber was right, Adam was king now. But he’d rather have the former king’s blessing on their mission. “I am to take these men with me and try to use our connections to get more information about Tommy’s whereabouts. Neil… I know there’s something else…” he looked at his brother before continuing.

“Yes. I know this will be a very experienced and effective group, but it probably still wouldn’t be enough to reach our goal. That’s why I’d like to take Commander Sauli’s troops with us. In disguise, divided and approaching on different routes. They are the most skilled fighters we have.”

Adam’s eyes rounded in surprise and he quickly looked back at their father.

“Neil, you are talking about two thousand men of our finest warriors!” Eber gaped and started shaking his head, but before he could object Neil continued.

“Yes, I know, father. But they’d back us up. You yourself said that you are not fond of the idea of letting your sons go there alone. This way we wouldn’t be alone. Isaac is an experienced bodyguard and Commander Sauli would travel with us too. He could stay in contact with the troops to coordinate them. You know well that the Land of the Volcanoes is much smaller than ours. We could go there on merchant ships. We have people who could take us there and then we could spread out. If we are able to approach their capital, Devil’s Hook undetected, we might get lucky and not just free Tommy but also take Vito captive and seize the city,” Neil said enthusiastically.

“That’d surely immobilize one of our enemies and by the time Thalia could aid them, you could send a legion which could attack them in the back while the rest of the united armies of the Sand, the Sea and the Caves could engage the southerners’ men which are already gathering at our borders. You know there are many. You’ve read the reports, father.”

“I did,” he agreed. Of course that worried him too and it was a clear sign that no matter what they did, the southerners would try to get their territories.

“I’d leave you, Longineu, Ron and his advisors to deal with that situation. You should stall the enemy. Their messenger will be back in two weeks for an answer. They think we’re vulnerable now that they have one of our kings and that we’ll accept their terms. That’s why they gave us so much time… to gather the goods and gold they requested in exchange of peace and Tommy. I can’t risk them killing Tommy and I fear they’d do exactly that once we denied what they wanted. Please, father… this is the only way. And even with the aid of the Sea we don’t have all they demand from us… I feel like this is the right decision and I just came from the temple,” he pointed at his forehead with the dried dove blood, indicating that after such activities the members of the royal family saw things clearer and could rely on their instincts better.

“Eber…” Leila turned towards her husband with a soft, nearly pleading look. “His mind is set.”

“I can see that. Very well. You have my support and blessing. We’ll deal with things here while you go on the rescue mission.”

“Thank you, father. Neil…” he turned to his brother lightly frowning “how fast can the Commander gather his men and give them instructions?”

“I’m way ahead of you, brother,” he grinned. “I already talked to him. Sauli’d gladly help and he said that it’d take only one day as most of his men are in or around Oudjat since the festivities and the attack. But we’ll need one more day to prepare too. I’ll get in contact with our spies meanwhile, but we’ll have to work out the details of our plan to make sure it’ll work.”

“You’re right, brother,” Adam lightly squeezed his upper arm and gave him a small smile. “Thank you for your help. I don’t know what I’d do without you and your plans.”

“Well, someone has to think with his mind and not his… heart,” he snorted, earning an eye-roll and a sigh from their mother and quiet chuckles from the men.

“That’s right,” Adam sighed and looked towards the tall windows as he wondered what was going on with his husband and hoping that he was unharmed.


	11. A pill to make you numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the darkest chapter of the story. It contains parts that might be triggering to some so consider yourself being warned as there'll be graphic depictions of violence!

**Chapter 11  
A pill to make you numb**

The slap on his face came with such a force that Tommy was knocked to the floor from his kneeling position and he could feel that coppery taste of blood immediately. As his hands were still tied together behind his back, he had no luck with avoiding his shoulder hitting the ground. It hurt like a bitch but he held back his painful moan. He knew it’d probably bruise by the next day, but he didn’t care. He was suddenly dragged back on his already hurt knees by the back of his tunic. It was the same guard who moved him to this smaller chamber with only little dark furniture and a couple of torches. It seemed like a room where they usually did the interrogations. And that was exactly what they have been doing for an hour or so.

“I ask it one last time, you little shit!” he heard the quite pissed off and very much aggressive guard to whom Tommy could thank a number of forming bruises on his knees, thighs, sides, his left shoulder and now on the right side of his face too. Apparently he had a split lip too judging by the amount of blood he spit on the floor. He could still hear their laughter clearly when he told their Captain… that sinister man, Vito that they shouldn’t lay a finger on him if they wanted to get whatever they wanted from the kingdoms. There was a law not to harm the royal hostages, but they practically all laughed mockingly into his face. They said they were above such silly laws. Tommy simply thought they were filthy and violent barbarians, so he sucked it up and endured the beatings. It wasn’t the first time he got a few punches. He had a strict instructor and he always pushed himself harder to prove he was worthy for his title.

“You better answer Xavier, King Thomas,” Vito chuckled sitting in an armchair as he picked his fingernails with the tip of a knife “he is very creative when it comes to interrogation. You don’t want to be taken to his dungeon.”

Tommy lifted his eyes and glared at the captain with pure hatred. He didn’t know he was capable of feeling something like this and after such a short time, but there he was kneeling and bleeding on the dirty stone floor in front of the enemy. He was such a fool to trust… to lower his guard. He was taught not to do so. He was taught not to trust anyone but himself. He failed. But he was determined to make it right. He’ll teach a lesson to these low-lives.

“Oh I like that fire in your eyes, don’t get me wrong. I’d love to watch it when we manage to put it out. But I still think you have valuable information. Stop being so stubborn and give in.”

“I have no answer to your question,” Tommy spit, not caring that his messy hair was grabbed by said Xavier.

“You are such an ugly little liar,” Vito sighed and stood up to walk over. “You are forcing my hand and wasting my time, little king,” he grabbed Tommy’s chin and moved his head from one side to the other as if he was a piece of meat “and when I’m in such a situation I tend to… let’s say, get firmer too…” he let his chin go and stepped back.

“I’m not a liar,” Tommy protested.

“Oh I know you are. Carlo told me everything about you, you know. You are indeed pretty enough… but I can make you even prettier and I will, if I have to. I hope it’ll come to that,” he grinned down at Tommy, who tried not to gag from that smile. It didn’t promise anything good and resolve or not, he certainly didn’t want to know what Vito meant.

“How do you wish me to make him speak?” Tommy heard Xavier’s raspy voice from above and he had to force himself from trying to break free from the tight grip in his hair that hurt especially by his nape where he was hit by Carlo earlier. “Should I take him to the dungeon?”

Tommy’s eyes slightly widened but he quickly controlled his expression as Vito looked back down at him.

“No, not yet. Take him to my chambers first. I’ll make him talk. I’ll be there shortly,” he smirked and Tommy cringed from the dirty snickers of Xavier and the other guards. Was everyone a sadistic in this realm?

Tommy didn’t have much time to contemplate on that as he was dragged to his feet by his hair and he had to concentrate on keeping his weight up. He was led out of the chamber. The corridors weren’t lit much more than the room they just left. Maybe all this gloom was the reason these people were so miserable and violent? That and the starving he heard about. But these men seemed to be strong enough to push him around like a ragdoll. Something he desperately wanted to fight against, but with his hands tied behind his back and his already throbbing injuries it wasn’t something he would’ve risked. He had to believe that Adam was already on his way to save him. If he survived… No, he quickly banished that thought from his mind. He had to believe that someone was going to come and free him. Or at least negotiate with Vito.

“You aren’t a lucky one, little king,” he suddenly felt Xavier’s hand tighten on his throbbing shoulder as he stopped him in front of a thick wooden door “he likes his boys young-looking and beaten,” he chuckled into his ear and this time Tommy’s eyes rounded as he was pushed into a room. Ice cold dread dropped into his stomach like a stone and this time he tried to get free from the man’s grip as he was led to a huge bed with chains attached to the foot and the headboard.

_No… this isn’t happening!_

***

Tommy felt the dread and the bile crawl up in his throat as with the help of another guard – who first cut his hands free – the iron cuffs by the foot of the bed were clicked on his wrists. He was fighting them as hard as he could, but that only earned a kick to the back of his knee, making him land on his knees and his face being pressed into the blood-red sheets.

“Easy there, boy. If you don’t want to get more kicks, you should start to cooperate with us. Our Captain won’t be so gentle with you and believe me, he’ll make you sing like a bird by the time he’s through with you…” Xavier leaned to his ear and pressed his groin to Tommy’s barely covered ass to give him an idea of Vito’s methods.

He tried to pull away as best as he could and force himself to breathe evenly. “I know nothing you might want to know of me. I’ve already told you.”

“And we already told you we don’t believe you are telling the truth,” Tommy heard Vito’s purring voice as he entered his chambers. He could feel Xavier move away from behind him, but it didn’t bring relief at all. Tommy’s chains rattled as he tried to get free, but there was no use, he knew it well. He twisted enough to be able to take a glimpse at the bald man who came closer to the bed. He felt sick in the stomach when Vito grabbed the hem of Tommy’s black tunic and pushed it up to his waist to expose his smooth ass. “Hmm… such a nice creamy skin…” he ran a hand over one cheek. “No wonder you wrapped your husband around your finger. I bet he loves fucking you through the mattress… Such a small and tight body…” he thought aloud and Tommy had to swallow back a protesting yell when he squeezed his ass hard.

“Stop!” he barked pulling away as much as he could, but that only made Vito chuckle low.

“You can make me stop once you tell me what I want to know,” he purred and it was a second time Tommy could feel a groin being pressed against his backside, but now he could feel how turned on this sick fuck was already.

He had to think fast to save his skin from the further pain and humiliation, but he really was clueless what to do. His dread numbed his mind even more when he heard Vito send his men out of the room and walked to the nightstand, starting to strip where Tommy could see him clearly. He was a well-built man and as his pants dropped to the floor, more white scars got revealed on the muscular thighs. The young king jerked his arms again as his eyes fell lower on the hairy body and saw the bobbing erection surrounded by a nest of dark curls. He was thick and big, but not as long as Adam. The maniac-sounding chuckle made him look back up into Vito’s dark eyes.

“Like what you see?” he grinned widely and poured oil in his hand to stroke his hard cock a few times, making it glisten.

“No. And I won’t let you do this to me. I don’t know anything…”

“Shut up. I’ve already heard this and it’s clear you don’t want to talk. I bet they made you swear not to talk about it, haven’t they?” he asked walking around the bed and out of Tommy’s line of sight, which made the blonde squirm and look over his shoulder again to keep an eye on his captor.

“No. You’re wrong,” Tommy gritted through his teeth and went silent for a second as he could see and feel Vito stand right behind him. He wasn’t touching him yet, but he could feel the heat of his body and his glare. The young king decided that it was the moment when he should tell more if he didn’t want the big man to rape him. “I… I know nothing about the secrets of the Lambert family…”

“And why is that?” Vito asked nearly gently, but Tommy knew it was faked. He cringed when one of Vito’s fingers traced the crack of his exposed ass, making his captive pull away and press harder into the end of the bed where he was practically bent in half.

“I… I don’t know… He… my husband promised me to reveal those secrets on the last day of the harvest festivities,” he said quickly and his eyes rounded when he felt the intimidating man step closer, his wet erection pressing against the small of his back.

“Continue!” Vito murmured grabbing his cock to rub its wide tip along Tommy’s crack. When Adam did this, Tommy knew it was about teasing and making him want more, but now it only filled the blonde with dread and wanting to escape more desperately. He felt his body tense and close in self-preservation.

“P-please…” he uttered as panic was starting to creep up on his back. “I don’t know anything else about those secrets… I’m telling the truth! I swear!”

“I don’t believe you… my pretty little liar…” he pressed his tip against the resisting hole. “I’ll make you spill everything you are keeping from me. By the time I’m finished with you, you’re gonna be an open book for me. My personal little pet with a broken will. No one defies Captain Vito! Understood?” he roughly grabbed Tommy’s hair and made his body arch. “No one!” he spitted with sudden anger and rammed forward.

First Tommy couldn’t feel any pain as the intrusion was too much of a shock for his body, but then it came on his senses with full force and he was screaming and rattling his chains, trying to get away from the source of the pain that was pushing into him over and over. It was as if his insides were about to split and abused by a knife and no matter how hard he tried to pull away, to free himself, the vice-grip on his narrow hips kept him in place. His stomach flipped and he wasn’t puking only because he couldn’t stop screaming as white-hot pain danced on his nerves and he felt as if his ass was on fire from the repeated thrusts. The sound of hung balls slapping against his tortured ass and Vito’s perverse grunts made him want to scream louder, not to mention the smell of his sex and sweat.

“That’s it, little king! Scream for me! It only makes me go wild!” he chuckled low and rammed harder inside as he pushed Tommy’s head into the bed.

Tommy’s arms were in an uncomfortable position, but he couldn’t move them. The only thing he could do was to turn his face to the side so he wouldn’t suffocate in the red covers while his body was being humiliated by that violent man who was moaning behind him like he was having the best fuck of his life. The blonde’s frame was shaking by the force of the rough thrusts and he could only hope that Vito wasn’t going to tear something inside. Maybe he should turn his head back and simply suffocate. That’d be still better than dealing with the here and now and then what comes after. As tears welled up in Tommy’s eyes for being called a liar, being beaten up and raped, he bit down hard on his lip to cut off his screams. For a moment Adam came into his mind, trying to guess what he’d think if he saw him like this and the disappointed picture of his husband for letting Tommy happen this to him made those tears silently slip his burning eyes. After all, he could thank this to himself. Tommy was the one to blame for getting into such a situation and causing pain not just for himself and Adam, but to Oudjat and their kingdoms. Because if they are still alive then they’ll have to come after him or negotiate to save him. He caused so much trouble and maybe this was his punishment for that.

“So fucking pretty!” he heard Vito’s happy groan and he didn’t resist when the thick fingers smeared his tears on his face. At least his body was going numb and the pain lessened as Tommy was getting used to it. “So, my pretty liar… How about you tell me some other things… I’m curious about too? I can go on all day long,” he leaned to Tommy’s ear and roughly sucked on his piercings before he chuckled dirtily and bit harshly into his straining shoulder.

***

Adam’s knuckles turned white as he was holding on to the wooden banister of the merchant ship he was standing on. He looked no better than a sailor in his worn black shirt and dark-brown pants tucked into black leather boots. He had no jewels on except his earrings. He was staring into the distance worried. They were out in the open sea, water wherever he looked. He just hated it that they had little wind, which slowed their progress towards the Land of the Volcanoes.

His mind was playing all kinds of scenarios in which Tommy could be at that moment and he felt sick from each and every picture his mind came up with. But there was anger too. Not against his husband but towards those who took him away from Adam. He gave a lot of thoughts to what Aset said. Were they really soulmates with Tommy? Adam’s heartbeat quickened even from the thought and he could easily believe the goddess was right. Why would she mislead him? Besides the tall king could feel it in his bones, in his soul. Which was aching at the moment from missing his husband and worrying for him. He wanted the terrible images to stop in his head and just close that fragile-looking body in his tattooed arms. He wanted to tell Tommy about his feelings. He dreaded the possibility that he won’t have the opportunity to confess with words what he already showed through his actions. Yes, he was in love, Neil was right about that.

He was right about a lot of things and Adam was glad his brother accompanied him on this rescue mission. It was a while since they fought side by side. They worked well together as they knew each other very well. Adam remembered all the fighting lessons since their childhood. They’ve started once they were strong enough to hold a sword and other weapons. Neil was better with the bow and spear. He liked to take out the strategically important opponents while Adam relied on his strength and built and preferred close-range fights with swords, knives and often his bare fists when there was nothing else. And he had a feeling that this time they’ll need all of their skills to be able to get Tommy back and defeat their enemy. The young king hoped that Neil’s plan would work.

“The captain said if the wind doesn’t pick up then we’ll arrive to the Land of the Volcanoes in a week or so,” Neil stepped next to his older brother and sighed.

“That’s an awful long time. I’m worried about Tommy and his well-being. You know that those barbarians don’t respect the international laws about royal hostages… You’ve heard about Vito’s…”

“Stop it, Adam. It won’t solve anything if you freak yourself out. Once we get there we’re gonna see what we’ll have to face.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. I’m trying not to freak out,” Adam sighed glimpsing at his brother. He gently squeezed Neil’s arm and forced a small smile on his face.

“Good. Have you talked with Sauli so far?”

Adam shook his head and turned back towards the water. “Not really. He was busy organizing his troops and planning the attack with you.”

“I see. Maybe you should. I know that you haven’t talked much since your… affair had ended. I just want you two to be on the same page to avoid misunderstandings or endangering the plan.”

“You think that’d endanger the plan? I thought he was on board with this whole rescue mission.”

“He is. But I want to make sure all goes as planned. With zero awkwardness.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to him. Thank you again for doing this, Neil. It means a lot.”

“Of course. You’d do the same if Miriam was taken. And despite me teasing you all the time, you are my brother and I want you to be happy. I think you made the right call with trying to overthrow Captain Vito.”

“I think the same. I’m just concerned about Thalia’s involvement. We don’t know exactly how many of her warriors will be there or how quickly she can sail over from her islands once she learns about our attack.”

“We’ll see that once we get to that problem, brother. First we have to free your better half. I like him and his effect on you. You are a good match.”

Adam just nodded and smiled weakly at Neil then watched him walk off to go over some details with Isaac. The heavy thoughts stayed on Adam’s mind and only got pushed back when he spotted his blond ex-lover by the front of the ship talking to the captain. He took a deep breath and made his way towards them. Neil was right and Adam knew he had to clear the air with Sauli.

“Just hold on until we get there, Tommy…” he mumbled, not being able to shake off that bad feeling in his guts.

***

Tommy was lying on his side on the floor by the foot of Vito’s bed. There was some thin blanket under him. His arms were now free but he was wearing an iron collar around his neck which was irritating his pale skin, but he didn’t feel any power left in him to move and scratch it. His wrists were bloody, not to mention the other injuries he had. He was completely naked now, shivering. His eyes were opened – or at least his left eye as the right one was swollen nearly shut. He was staring at the bare stone floor and tried to stay absolutely still since every little move made his ass flare up with pain.

It’s been nearly a week since he was there but to be honest, Tommy lost track of time during his repeated tortures. It felt like months if not years. He remembered that the more he fought, the more severe the beatings and rapes became so after a while he stopped fighting back. He’d learned how to take it without a word, only whimpers leaving his mouth which he bit bloody to hold his painful screams down. On the one hand Vito was satisfied that Tommy seemed to have learned the lesson of taking what he thought the smaller man deserved, but on the other hand he only got more and more pissed as he couldn’t pull much out of him during their raping sessions.

Tommy tried to retreat into his mind, which on more occasions provided him a certain kind of numbness, a distance from what was happening to his body. His spirit still wanted to fight, but his body was overwhelmed by all the violence committed against him. He desperately tried to hang on to his anger and plans of taking revenge some day. He knew that from that point it didn’t take long to reach that numbness and the more time passed, the more he welcomed that point. He was closing in on himself in order to protect his sanity. If he was still sane at all.

During the times a young servant, if he remembered clearly he introduced himself as Taylor, came in to take care of his injuries with some water and ointments, Tommy rather resembled a ragdoll tossed to the foot of the bed than the proud young king he was just a week ago. Xavier was right, Captain Vito knew well how to overwhelm and break someone’s spirit and Tommy wasn’t sure anymore how long he’d be able to take this.

When the door opened and someone knelt next to him he quickly closed his eyes and tried to curl up into a smaller ball – even if it caused him more pain.

“It’s alright, King Thomas, it’s just me, Taylor,” he heard the now familiar quiet voice. He should have expected the arrival of the servant as he always came in an hour after his tortures. Vito said letting Tommy feel the full extent of the pain was a fitting punishment for still lying to them. It didn’t matter how many times the blond man swore he wasn’t lying. His word meant nothing to his captors and he started to believe they were calling him a liar just to be able to torture him more. “I’ll need you to let me tend your wounds, your majesty,” Taylor continued and once Tommy let him move his aching and throbbing body he let the brunette boy gently but quickly take care of his old and fresh injuries.

It was always the worst between his legs. It was a wonder Vito didn’t tear him anywhere. Yet. He could probably thank for the oil he used on him, but Tommy believed Vito used it more to his own comfort. But Tommy wasn’t sure he wouldn’t manage to make him bleed there too in case he didn’t get what he wanted. But he already told him what he could tell. He refused to talk about the state, the armies, the wealth and the tactics of the kingdoms and that only earned him more beatings and rapes during this week. He was wondering if he was to stay here until his body or mind couldn’t take it anymore. That could last for years even if they continued practically starving him, only giving enough to eat and drink to sustain his body.

With the help of Taylor Tommy turned his face upwards so the boy could clean his black eye too. He opened his other eye and looked at him. He was young but his eyes and face looked much older. Tommy had noticed the thin scars peeking out from under the lean boy’s simple tunic on his back and the back of his legs. A few showed by his wide leather collar around his neck too.

“What happened to you?” Tommy asked on a hoarse voice. It was the first time he talked in the presence of Taylor and it seemed to surprise both of them.

The boy’s features and eyes hardened from the memories, but he had a small friendly smile on his face as he helped Tommy sit up to be able to wash off the blood from the fresh thin cuts and scratch marks on his chest too. “A few years back… when I was much younger… barely twelve, I used to be Vito’s plaything. He liked to whip me before raping me. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky…” he whispered at the end and averted his eyes when he felt Tommy’s shock and disgust make his body tense up.

“He’s a monster…” he managed to spit out, ignoring the throbbing pain all over his body.

“Yes…” Taylor whispered then bit his lip as if afraid that someone could hear them. “I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to say such things… They punish such ill-talk severely.”

“How long?” Tommy wanted to know.

“Until I turned eighteen…” he said so quietly that Tommy had to strain his ears to hear it.

“How did you survive?” he swallowed hard thinking that he wouldn’t be able to bear this for years.

“I’m stubborn, I guess…” he sighed and lifted a small bowl of fresh water to Tommy’s mouth to help him drink. “I kept imagining him getting it much worse one day. That kept me breathing.”

The young king didn’t ask anything else just got lost in his thoughts, letting Taylor feed him some plain soup. Tommy’s heart sank thinking how many young boys had to suffer the same fate like him – or worse. He should do something about it, but he was just so tired and weak by now that he could barely lift his hand or swallow the soup. He wasn’t able to sleep much from fear that waking up unprepared to having Vito over him or to the pain would be much worse.

“Help me… help me get out of here,” he begged quietly as he looked into Taylor’s terrified face.

“I… I can’t. They’d kill me… they have my family. Or at least what’s left of them. I… I can’t…” he shook his head and started visibly shaking. “They’re everywhere… there’s nowhere I could take you… No way to get you out of here… no way… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I wish I could help…” he apologized with tears in his eyes.

Tommy wanted to say something, but then the door opened and Xavier entered with two of his men, making Tommy tense and curl up as much as he could.

“Get out, you mutt!” he kicked Taylor away from him and grabbed Tommy’s bruised upper arm to jerk him up on his shaking legs. From the corner of his terrified eyes he saw Taylor stumble out of the room as fast as he could then Tommy’s attention was drawn back to the muscular man in front of him while another opened the lock on the iron collar around his neck. It landed by his foot with a loud metallic thud. “We are taking a walk down to the basements. The Captain wants to show you his playroom. I’m sure you’ll like it there too,” he chuckled.

“No… please, no,” Tommy whimpered in panic and pain but he was already dragged along shady corridors where all the servants shied out of their way, not wanting to get punished.

“Shut up!” Xavier shook him, making him nearly lose his balance and scream as white hot pain ran up his naked spine.

A few floors lower he was soon shoved through a thick wooden door. It was much warmer there and Tommy thought they were inside one of the mountains close to an active volcano. The air was stuffy, making it harder for him to breathe. As he looked around, his dread just grew. It looked like a torture chamber and Vito was already there… with a clearly more than tipsy Carlo on his side.

“Oh how nice of you to finally join us!” Vito grinned. Tommy hated that grin as by now he knew it only meant more suffering for him.

“Nice work you did on him so far, lover,” Carlo chuckled letting his dark eyes wander on the bruised and wounded body of his ex-lover.

Tommy’s eyes flared up for a few seconds, but his anger was quickly replaced by growing panic once Vito thanked Carlo and turned his full attention back to Tommy.

“You see, my little pet, you still haven’t learned to be fully obedient. I can’t leave things like this. After our little encounter a couple of hours ago I discovered something. Clearly you already like my cock shoved into you, that’s why you are refusing to struggle or talk. This isn’t right…” he shook his head and pursed his lips while watching Tommy being held by the guards so he wouldn’t collapse on the stone floor. “I realized I have to use new methods on you to teach you that lesson and then… and then you’ll tell me _everything_. That’s still a long way to go, so I won’t waste our time. This… is my playground. I hope you like it. Oh well, if not, you’ll learn to like it. Or at least get acquainted with most of the devices here until you learn to completely obey to me…” he grinned that disgusting smile again and Tommy felt his stomach flip. It took a lot of effort to keep down the little food it contained.

“I…” he tried to say something and jerked his arm only to be held even tighter, the grip on his bruised upper-arm making him hiss.

“Save your breath, little liar. The next time you’ll talk to me, you’ll be telling me everything about your pathetic kingdoms. Chain him to the pole, his back to us,” he nodded to the guards.

“No… please, don’t…” Tommy started to say and it earned a slap by the back of Xavier’s hand, his bitten lip reopening. The now familiar taste of blood made him want to throw up again, but instead he chose to pant in the hot air around them while he was tied up once again.

“Haven’t you heard what our Captain just said?!” Xavier grunted and Tommy could barely feel the pain in his bruised arms or care about the guard who spit on his back after cuffing his aching wrists to the pole above his head.

Ignoring the humiliation of pushing him through the castle naked and being tied up again, which was aimed to break his resistance, Tommy pressed his throbbing lips together to stop further pleas and tried to figure out what sick thing did Vito plan for him this time.

“You know, little liar, I can see you really want to learn your lesson,” he heard Vito’s voice coming closer and then some whooshing sound in the air made Tommy wonder what could be the source of that – until it snapped against the floor. In that instant he could see Taylor’s peeking scars. He stayed silent, but he strained against his chains. He knew trying to break free was futile, but his survival instinct kicked in despite how weak his tortured body was already. “Oh you can try, but you can’t avoid this,” Vito chuckled and Carlo joined him.

“He’ll look pretty with the permanent reminders of your lesson,” Tommy heard the familiar and by now very much hated voice. “Will you do me the honor to allow me to give him a few strokes of the whip once you had your fill, lover?” Carlo practically purred to Vito and Tommy felt the bile rise in the back of his throat once again.

“Of course. We have to make sure the lesson gets etched deep enough,” he grinned and Tommy could hear the sounds of wet kissing.

The first strike wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. It was like with his first rape. The pain came just in a few seconds. He was wondering if he ever survived this, would anyone recognize him. Would he be able to continue his life or become a mental and physical wreck, a laughing stock? Would Adam even want to be with him or would he think he was disgusting and ugly? A pathetic copy of the once pretty husband he had… Those damned tears ran down his distorted face from this thought and the next stroke of the whip. The wounds were stinging unbearable from the sweat that formed on Tommy’s skin from the stuffy air. Now he understood that this was just another way to torture him as more and more marks opened on his pale back. A few times the end of the whip reached his sides, shoulders, arms and the back of his thighs, but he endured his lesson in silence.

“Your turn, Carlo,” Vito announced after a while.

Tommy’s whole body was shaking unstoppable by then and he wasn’t on the floor in a pile of bloody mess because his shackles didn’t let him slip down. He was trying to control his panting although maybe it would’ve been better if he just passed out or died on the spot. The pain was excruciating and he couldn’t see anything from his tears.

“I’ll enjoy this so much. I’ve been waiting for this for years,” he suddenly heard Carlo’s malevolent voice by his ear and he tried to jerk away but couldn’t.

“Why?” he gritted through his teeth, not caring if his disobedience earned him a few more strikes. He just had to know why the once so nice man he knew turned into this twisted wreck on the side of the cruel monster who’d been torturing him since he arrived to this godforsaken land.

“You want to know, don’t you? I bet you’ve been wondering for a while now why I am here on the other side of the whip,” he asked in a drunken slur but sober enough to let his hatred clearly come through his spitted words while he pressed a finger into one of Tommy’s open wounds on his back, making him hiss in pain. Carlo just chuckled satisfied from that. “Remember that lover you had? The one who tried to top you and you told the guards to remove him from the castle and the kingdom? Well, my little prince, he was my cousin. The only relative I had and grew up with. I won’t lie, we fucked too, because why not? Then no matter how much I begged, he said he’d try his luck in your court. He started serving there, leaving me alone back at home. I had no idea how his life turned out until his first letter arrived. Then we stayed in contact like that while I continued my music studies by an older musician. Things were going well, he wrote that you two became lovers along the way and then suddenly nothing. The letters stopped. I left our hometown in search of him. I’ve learned something terrible about him. Do you know what? After all the guards acted on your orders, haven’t they?” he snarled scratching into another wound, making more blood run down on Tommy’s tortured back and a painful groan escape him.

“I don’t know… what you’re talking… about,” he panted from the pain.

“Don’t. You. Fucking. Lie!!!” he snapped and dug his fingers into Tommy’s back, making him scream out. “You ordered them to make him disappear! They took it literally, little prince! They took him to the edge of your fucking kingdom and beat him to death! That’s what happened! That’s why I hated you so much ever since I’ve learned about this! You wanted to know, why! And guess what, I had to become your lover myself to be able to learn this. Then I left as if nothing happened, as if I just wanted to continue my travels through the kingdoms to earn money with my music. You have no idea how hard it was not to kill you in your dreams, but that would’ve been a too easy way for you to go. No, I wanted you to suffer. So after a while I’ve ended up here in this lovely place and Captain Vito and I became lovers and he promised that he’d help me with my vengeance. I didn’t care about your kingdom, I just wanted my cousin to be avenged. And this is exactly what I’ll do right now. You’ll live and carry your mistake on your skin for the rest of your pathetic life! No more pretty prince just an ugly wreck!”

“I had no idea… I swear I didn’t know about any of this!”

“You know we don’t believe such pathetic liars like you are, hiding behind your pretty face and innocent brown eyes! You’ll get what you deserve now…” he laughed hysterically and stepped back with an insane light in his eyes.

In the next moment another painful scream tore itself out of Tommy’s throat and he started seeing black spots on the edge of his vision. Carlo’s strokes came harder and faster and for a split second he was wondering if anything would be left of his back once they were finished with him.

He wasn’t sure, but he probably blacked out after a while because the next time he opened his eyes he wasn’t tied to the pole anymore. Now he was bent over a wooden table, bleeding wrists chained to it by the longer chains that came back from the legs by the head of the table. His ankles were chained to the back legs of the table, leaving him exposed. When he realized this, he started tugging against his chains just to be rendered motionless by the pain that flared up in his back, knocking the breath out of him and making him nauseous.

“Oh look, our little liar is awake,” Vito chuckled and Tommy wished he’d die right then and there when he saw four guards standing behind the captain with wicked grins on their faces. They were half-naked, one of them already stroking himself through his pants. “I admit, Carlo gave you beautiful wounds to remember him by. You even passed out long enough for us to set up the next chapter of your lesson,” Vito crouched down next to the table, fisting his hand in Tommy’s wet hair to keep him from turning his head away. “I’m gonna tell you what’ll happen now… For that beautiful work he did on you I’ll let him fuck you first. Then it’ll be my turn and then my boys will have the leftovers to play with.”

“Please… please…” Tommy whined barely audible.

“What? What is it?” Vito cooed leaning closer.

“Don’t hurt me anymore…”

“Oh well, you know what you have to do to make us stop, little liar…”

Tommy pressed his blood-shot eyes shut, the swelling throbbing as it was pressed against the table. All he wanted to do was spill everything, all details of his kingdoms, the Lamberts’ secret (even if he barely knew anything about those), everything just to make the pain go away, but instead he said resigned: “I… I can’t betray my people.”

“What a noble king you are trying to be. That’s honorable. Too bad it won’t help on you,” he said and nodded to Carlo somewhere behind Tommy and in the next moment he could feel his ex-lover’s wet cock press against his hole. Tommy could see over Vito’s shoulder that the guards pushed their pants down too, their dicks already hard. The tortured man closed his eyes with resignation once again.

“Adam’ll kill you all for this…” he said loud enough for everyone to hear and Tommy knew his husband would once he got there to free him.

Vito’s maniac laughter hurt his victim’s ear. “What makes you still think anyone’s coming for you? Everyone you knew is dead by now. Your precious husband is dead… No one’s coming for you. You’ll stay here with us for a long-long time, my pretty little pet!” Vito jerked Tommy’s head back the moment Carlo forced his cock into him.

Tommy’s mind was screaming ‘NO!’ and not just against yet another violation of his body, but from the news he got. Adam was dead?! His beautiful husband… his last hope to get out of this hell… Was Vito telling the truth? His rational brain was trying to come up with reasonable explanations of why it was a lie, but they’ve been fucking with his sanity for too long. So he slowly believed that his worst fear came true and he really was killed during the siege of Oudjat… Tommy could feel the remains of his hope shatter into million pieces and his sanity spiraling down into the growing darkness inside of him.

Vito grinned seeing the light go out in Tommy’s teary eyes as he _finally_ accepted his fate. The bald man was grinning like a satisfied maniac seeing the blank expression etch itself into the broken blonde’s features. He reached his goal, he finally broke him in. Vito watched the sick pleasure on Carlo’s face for a second as he stood up and opened his own pants. A short chuckle then a moan left him as Tommy easily opened his mouth to let the bald man’s hard cock fill it and submit to whatever they wanted to do to him. He’d lost everything important to him so why bother fighting back?


	12. Into Eternity

**Chapter 12  
Into Eternity**

 

Despite the long puffy arms of his shirt, Adam adjusted the black stripe of cloth around his wrist to make sure his tattoos were covered. They couldn’t know just how well the people in this land knew him and his tattoos could be the cause he gets recognized. They just couldn’t afford that. He then took a sip from his jug that was filled with water and kept an eye on the people around.

Sauli was sitting next to him in the corner of the run-down tavern near the docks. They arrived to Devil’s Hook an hour ago and managed to fool the harbor-master and the guards. They told them that they raided a ship of the Sea and brought the wares to sell. So at the moment the crew of the merchant ship they’ve been traveling on were unloading the wares they brought from the Sand as part of their cover, while Adam, Sauli and Isaac were sitting in that shady corner. The king watched as his brother was quietly talking to a dirty-looking older man – their contact – to get more information about the castle and the number of the guards.

Adam tried not to fidget too much and look calm, but he was very nervous. It showed and Sauli had to put his hand on Adam’s arm or knee when he was starting to draw attention.

“I know you’re restless and want to go free him right away, but we have to be careful and prepared,” Sauli whispered close to Adam’s ear not wanting to risk being overheard by the few customers.

Adam sighed and nodded. “Yes, you’re right. I just hate to wait here while gods know what’s happening to him,” he said and was grateful that his commander and ex-lover was there to calm him a little.

He was glad they had that talk on the ship a few days ago, because – as usual – Neil was right. There was a little awkwardness there, but once they talked the past over, things went back to normal between them and Adam could talk to the short blond like he used to. He was still amazed by how noble Sauli was. Adam wasn’t sure he’d be able to help on his ex-lover’s husband if the roles were reversed. Well, probably he’d if he was ordered, but still, it’d be more than uncomfortable to him. But not to his commander.

“Thomas is a good king and he is good for you, Adam. I have nothing against him. The people like him as he is fair and kind and puts their needs in front of his own. That’s the kind of husband you need and the kingdoms deserve. I’m glad your marriage seems to work out well and I want to be supportive. No one deserves to be taken away like this and be at the mercy of Captain Vito…” Sauli explained on the ship and suddenly Adam wanted to hug him, but he just squeezed his arm gratefully.

“Thank you, Sauli. It means a lot to me.”

“It’s all right, Adam. Besides I treasure the time we had together, but we both moved on. I have someone to fight for and go home to, so you don’t have to feel guilty for having to break up with me. It wasn’t meant to be. You and Thomas are. I can clearly see the way you look at each other,” he smiled.

_Everyone seems to have picked up on that_ , Adam thought and relaxed his grip on his jug. _Well, if we truly are soulmates then it’s no wonder_. That’s why he wanted to go so desperately to search for Tommy. If he looked deep inside, like during his vision with Aset, he could barely sense that presence. But he knew Tommy was here.

“He’s here and kept in the castle,” Neil confirmed his feeling in a couple of minutes when he sat down to their table, the hood of his cape still deep in his eyes.

“How can we get inside?” Adam asked barely above a whisper.

“Our contact has a place… an abandoned farm house nearby. There we can wait for Sauli’s troops to arrive undetected. It’s vital to our plan not to be discovered so communication with your men will be very important from now on,” he told to the commander who just nodded.

“What about the castle?” Adam repeated, clearly inpatient about that part.

“The guards are the strongest by the docks and in the castle. It has five floors and each can be sealed down individually. We’ll have to go through the canals and seal down the place from the inside so Vito cannot get reinforcements from the outside. It’ll be tricky but I think we’ll be able to pull this off,” Neil looked seriously at his brother from under his hood. “But we have to get moving, pretend that we sail off and then dock a few miles to the south in a bay close to that farmhouse. The risky part will be moving along on the mountain routes undetected, but that’s what the night is for.”

“I understand. Let’s get going then. I don’t want to waste any more time,” Adam drank the rest of his water and stood up. Sauli, Isaac and Neil followed him outside as they made their way back to the merchant ship. Adam’s heart was beating in his chest as he looked into the distance above them. The black and grey castle was there on the side of the huge mountain behind it. They’ll have a hard time getting inside, but once there, he was confident their fighting skills would earn them victory and a husband back in his arms.

***

It took three more days for all the troops to reach the abandoned farm house. They were careful to hide and lay low in the surrounding barns and the nearby caves so they wouldn’t be spotted by the enemy.

Adam was on edge and impatient. Only his brother could put him in his place and warn him if he acted like a jerk, they’d leave him behind. Clearly he was too involved emotionally, but that’s why Neil, Sauli and even Isaac were there not to let his emotions blind the young king. The worry he felt for Tommy became a constant companion, barely letting him sleep. He knew he had to rest as his strength would be required during the siege, but he couldn’t help it. Besides they had to move fast as the troops had little food, which was provided by their connections. But you cannot win a battle with a starving army.

So when finally Sauli joined them and reported that all of his men managed to arrive undetected, they were waiting impatiently for nightfall, laying low and going through the plan a few more times to make sure everyone knew their role.

Adam had to concentrate hard not to let his mind wander and imagine how it’d feel to hold Tommy in his arms and kissing him again. He knew that once he had him back, he’d confess his love and never let him out of his sight again.

Using the unusually dark shadows of the night seemed to work, although the bare and rocky terrain made it a little hard to move noiselessly. Either way, soon enough they reached the entrance of the canals. Luckily there were only a couple of guards there. They were quietly killed by Neil’s arrows and they hid the bodies before descending into the knee-high water. The smell wasn’t the nicest, but it was bearable and soon they’ve got used to it anyways. The first real obstacle was the gate made of iron bars that sealed their path. They didn’t want to use anything too noisy to get in so they tied strong ropes to them and since there were a lot of men, they pulled together, some men staying close to the gate to catch the bars when they were about to fall into the water.

They tried to work as fast and as quietly as possible and their efforts were rewarded soon enough. They managed to move inside without being discovered. The old man Neil was talking to in the tavern, gave them the layout of the castle pretty accurately so they didn’t get lost in the canals.

Neil and Isaac were leading them to the basement level through some narrow corridors. They were supposed to escort Adam towards Captain Vito’s chambers where they knew Tommy was kept, while Sauli and his troops could distract the guards and take in the castle after sealing the gates from the inside.

On their way they managed to silently kill the guards until they reached the ground floor. Thanks to Sauli’s small build he managed to sneak close to the gates, some of his men following him like shadows. With two of his fingers Neil waved towards the stairs that led upstairs. Isaac led the men assigned to them and Adam was about to follow with Neil, when he saw from the corner of his eye that a guard was about to shoot an arrow at Sauli.

“Intruders!” the guard yelled.

“Sauli, look out!” Adam cried out at the same time and could already hear the arrow whoosh through the air. “Shit!” he cursed and ran out to the yard where the fight already broke out.

He saw that the arrow was stopped by Sauli’s sword and Adam looked back at Neil, who was cursing under his nose and looking questioningly at his brother from the corridor.

“Go, find him! I’ll be there in a little!” he shouted over his shoulder then dodged a blade from the right.

“Moron…” Neil shook his head, but decided to proceed with their plan when he saw Sauli cutting the counter weight of the iron gates. It lowered with a loud thud and he could see half of their troops getting engaged in the battle on the court yard. His brother disappeared in the crowd quickly. Now it was up to him to seal this level of the castle. The other half of the troops was already fighting above. The warning sounds of the horns cut into the dark night and the castle got filled with shouts, clashes of swords and arrows in the air.

Neil ran up the stairs as fast as he could, his bow and arrow in hand. He wasn’t going to follow Isaac, but find an alternate way to Vito’s chambers as he liked to do things his way. They just had to move fast before that evil snake could harm Tommy more than he probably already did.

***

The Land of the Volcanoes had strong warriors, Adam had to admit. It wasn’t so easy to slay them and keep himself from getting cut or worse. He was back to back with Sauli at that moment, fighting with two muscular guards. The battle was raging on around them and he wished he had his shield with him to protect himself easier, but he was no stranger to a difficult fight. He only had a few scratches yet and managed to kill the guard to the left with driving his sword through his stomach. He quickly jumped back from the other man, who aimed to cut off the young king’s arm as he pulled the sword back. But Adam was quicker and stronger than the guard expected and with a turn of his wrist he managed to cut his throat open.

“This is taking too long, Sauli!” Adam shouted behind him as he dodged another sword. Where he killed the guards three more came at him. “Help me get back to the stairs!”

“Alright. Follow my lead,” the smaller man said and whistled and shouted to his men. Four of them quickly finished off their opponents and made a relatively clear path for them as they moved as one, fighting back the guards that came from every direction. Two more of Sauli’s men closed the circle they were in and fought from. In a few minutes they were close to the stairs where Neil and the others disappeared earlier.

Adam and Sauli changed places with a few steps, cutting down two more guards that managed to get inside the circle. “Thanks. Don’t get yourself killed!” he told his commander.

“I’ll try not to. Take two of them with you! Stephen, Zack, go with King Adam and make sure he doesn’t get harmed,” he commanded two of his men closest to the stairs and Adam. “Adam, make sure you save our other king!” he said and their eyes met for a brief second. The tall man nodded and smiled faintly.

After their command Sauli’s men broke formation. The one with black hair, Zack, ran in front of Adam, while Stephen protected them from behind. Sauli’s words were still ringing in Adam’s ears as they were running up the stairs. He was a little out of breath when they reached the first floor. There were a lot of dead bodies lying on the corridors and they could hear the distant sounds of fighting ahead of them. They just had to follow those noises to know where to go.

One or two guards came at them but Zack easily eliminated them. He seemed to be one of Sauli’s best soldiers and Adam promised to himself that if they were to survive this, he’d award him and the others for their bravery.

As they got closer and closer to their destination, the anxiety was growing more and more in Adam. He had to control himself not to rush into something that’d end badly. When they turned the next corner, he spotted Isaac and at least thirty men fighting on the corridor. Despite the bloody chaos, Adam felt relieved when he realized that there were more of their soldiers, but the narrow passage made it hard to quickly eliminate the enemy so they successfully defended a heavy-looking dark-brown door. It was obvious that it was their destination.

With the help of Zack he managed to make his way to Isaac who was fighting close to the door. His face and clothes were bloody, but little of it was his own blood.

“We have to finish the rest of them off,” Adam panted and made his sword clash with the man’s who was about to bring his own down on Isaac’s shoulder. “We have to get inside!”

“I agree,” the smaller man nodded and swirled out from the way to cut the throat of another man with his daggers which he was holding in both of his hands. “A few more minutes, your majesty,” he added and threw himself back into the fight.

“You’re too late, king Lambert,” Adam suddenly heard from his opponent and saw a crooked smile spread on the rough features.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he snorted nonchalantly but his heart sunk and he wanted to shout at everyone who was standing between him and the door.

“Your pretty blonde is gone for good. We all had our fun with him,” the sweaty man chuckled and Adam suddenly saw red.

“What did you just say?!” he gritted through his teeth as their swords clashed again, sending sparks in the air.

“That’s right. That lovely tight body…” he started to say, but Adam’s angry roar cut him off and he managed to push the guard against the stone walls. In the next second the furious king stabbed him in the stomach, pulling the sword upwards to open him up and make his gut spill.

“You’ll rot forever for your sins! I’ll kill all of you! All who dared to lift a finger at him!” he spit ignoring the guard’s last painful yells.

After that the rest of the fight became a blur to Adam. He was so angry after the confirmation of Tommy being hurt by these men that he was fighting like a machine, slaying one guard after the other. His mind was repeating what the dead southerner said.

_You’re too late… he’s gone for good… we all had our fun with him… that lovely tight body…_

No, that can’t be. They wouldn’t…

“King Adam… your majesty!” he heard Isaac’s worried voice and the last guard who was trying to stab him in the back was pushed away by Tommy’s personal guard. For a few seconds they were wrestling on the floor then the guard dropped his sword and he never moved again.

Isaac pulled his bloody daggers out of the dead body and glimpsed up at Adam who just nodded and took a deep breath to steady himself and try to think rationally. As much as it was possible in the given circumstances, of course. He reached out with his left hand for the door handle but was stopped by Isaac, who bumped the back of his hand against Adam’s wrist as he was still holding his bloody dagger.

“Your majesty… please, let us go inside first. We don’t know what awaits us. We can’t risk you getting hurt…” he looked at him pleadingly and clearly still amazed by the way Adam fought himself through the remaining guards in record time.

Adam wanted to protest and suppressed an annoyed huff for being held up once again, but he stepped aside and let Isaac and the remaining five of their men break the door down as it was locked from the inside. Those few minutes felt like an eternity to Adam and once he could step inside the chambers of Captain Vito, his eyes rounded and a snarl escaped his mouth from the sight.

“Well, well, well… look who came for a visit…” the bald man grinned despite the fact that he and two of his muscular men were cornered in the room. He seemed confident as he was standing by the leg of his bed. Probably because of the fact that he was fisting one hand in a kneeling Tommy’s hair and the other holding a knife to his throat just above a steel collar with a chain in the front which tied him to the leg of the bed. The blond was naked, his body full of healing bruises and cuts. Adam couldn’t see the familiar brown eyes as they were downcast and fixed on the stone floor by his bruised knees. He was utterly shocked by how Tommy looked, but what worried him the most was that he wasn’t putting up any fight or looked tensed or scared for his life because of the knife by his throat. No, he looked relaxed, resigned even.

“Vito…” Adam growled, anger flaring up in his blue eyes that looked as if it was glowing. An effect of the blood that splattered all over his face during fighting his way up here. “What have you done to him?!” he gritted through his teeth.

“What? No introduction?” the other man snorted while the rest of the people in the room were watching each other tensed, ready to fight. The tension was palpable and heavy like the smell of sweat and blood. “How rude, _King Adam_ …” he pressed the last two words mockingly. “To answer your question, I made an obedient little pet from this pretty little thing…” he chuckled with an undertone of insane.

“How you dared…” Adam stepped closer tightening his grip on the hilt of his sword.

“Ah-ah!” Vito jerked Tommy’s head upwards and pressed the knife tighter against the pale skin, sending down a thin rivulet of blood from where its tip cut Tommy. The blonde didn’t react just let Vito do to him whatever he wanted. His eyes were closed, a blank expression on his face as he kept his hands loosely by his sides. There was no attempt to cover his nakedness or get free from the painful grip. “Another step forward and I’ll cut your precious husband’s throat and make you watch him bleed out because of your own fault!” he warned and Adam stopped immediately.

“You’re a monster!” Adam spit, nearly blinded by his anger, but it only made Vito chuckle.

“Well, thank you for the compliment. I’ve been working on this title for a long while…”

Adam ignored the insane man and turned his attention to his husband. His heart was breaking all over seeing him in this state. “Tommy… Tommy, can you hear me? It’s me, Adam. Please, baby, look at me. I’m gonna save you, I promise.”

He got no reaction just another chuckle from Vito. “Oh my, my. It seems you have no effect on him anymore. Pet,” he pulled on Tommy’s hair again “tell me your name.”

Tommy’s eyes fluttered but he didn’t open them just arched into the painful grip. “Little Liar,” he said on a flat tone.

“That’s right. And to whom do you belong?”

“Captain Vito.”

“See? He doesn’t need you anymore,” Vito grinned and let his knife slide down from Tommy’s throat to his chest. He lightly cut the already sickly pale, abused skin.

“You fucking bastard... I’ll kill you with joy for this!” Adam grunted as he stopped watching Tommy’s blood slowly slide down on his skin. He wanted to scream at his husband to make him snap out of this strange state. Vito must’ve tortured him ever since he was kidnapped and arrived here and Adam was already starting to beat himself up for not being able to prevent all the suffering Tommy had to go through until he reached this state of mind. Adam felt sick seeing how unaffected the awfully thin and bruised man looked. He could barely recognize him. Adam knew that Vito was enjoying both their suffering and that putting Tommy on display like this was to mess with his mind and sanity too, and he had to admit that it was working. He could barely think straight from the pain and anger. He thought about himself as a pacifist man, incapable of hatred. But now he could only feel exactly that: pure, blinding hatred.

“Oh I don’t think so…” Vito shook his head. “You’ll let me and my men go freely, or else I’ll kill this pretty thing here.”

Adam clenched his jaw and looked from Tommy to Vito and back. He knew he had to make a though decision and he was just incapable of thinking straight. His whole body was shaking with rage, blood-thirst and pain. What the hell should he do? If he tries to get closer, Tommy’ll die. If he lets them go, Vito’ll probably kill him then too – or worse: keep him as his broken pet. This was never about the ransom or negotiations. That was just a distraction. Looking into the insanely sparkling eyes of Vito, now Adam understood that it was about humiliating and destroying the captain’s enemies.

“Well, what’ll it be?” said man let the tip of his knife make a small cut on Tommy’s bruised face too.

Adam wanted to shout at him to stop torturing Tommy, when his eyes caught movement from the window to the left behind the men. It was Neil with his bow, aiming his arrow at Vito’s head. Adam had no idea where his brother came from, but he was fucking grateful for the unexpected help. Luckily no one noticed Neil or at least didn’t give him away. When Vito moved his knife a bit further from Tommy’s body, Adam’s eyes met for a brief second with his brother’s and he nodded barely noticeable.

Vito’s maniac laughter from Adam’s silence suppressed the sound of the arrow quickly crossing the air and the king watched with deep satisfaction when that ugly smile froze on the bald man’s face. His eyes stared at Adam for a few more moments and he could see the shock in them. The arrow went through his temple and although Adam didn’t plan such a quick death to that monster, a dark smile curled his own lips upwards as he heard the knife land on the floor by Tommy’s knee. Vito’s hand was still fisted in Tommy’s hair so as he fell he jerked his head backwards tearing some hair out. The kneeling man let out a painful whimper but quickly got back to his previous position with his head bent and as motionless as possible. It was as if he tried to be invisible. Maybe to avoid further tortures, maybe from some other reason. Adam didn’t have much time to muse on it.

The moment Vito landed on the floor and the shock of the others eased up, Vito’s commander, a big man they knew as Xavier roared and looked for the source of the attack. Before Adam could warn Neil, a silver flash flew through the air.

Adam met Neil’s slightly surprised eyes. There was a thin rivulet of blood gushing out of his mouth. Despite all he was smiling at his older brother, ignoring the dagger sticking out from his chest. That moment stretched and felt like eternity to the dark-haired man. That look told him so much, it burned into his mind then Neil lost his balance and fell out of the window.

“NO!!!!!!” Adam screamed and he barely registered while running to the window that Zack stabbed Xavier before the outraged man could jump at the king.

Adam forgot everything around him – the now disarmed guards, his people, even the motionless Tommy with Isaac kneeling next to him. He just grabbed the window frame with his free hand and with terrified eyes looked down at his baby brother’s lifeless body lying on the cobblestones.


	13. Come and Save Me

**Chapter 13  
Come and Save Me**

The ship was rocking gently around him as if the sea didn’t want to bother his thoughts either. Adam was sitting on the simple bed in his cabin. He was staring on the floorboards with his head in his hands. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying and lack of sleep. Now he felt just empty. It’s been two days since they conquered the Land of the Volcanoes capital, Devil’s Hook. Two days since he had Tommy back. Two days since Vito was killed. And two days since his brother was gone for good.

He pressed his eyes shut as he remembered how he left Tommy to Isaac’s care and ran down on the yard to his brother’s body. He was dead. His only sibling. He looked as if he was just sleeping, but the knife sticking out of his chest and the trail of blood by his mouth said otherwise. Adam pulled the knife out and let it drop on the ground next to Neil. His hands fisted on the bloody fabric of his brother’s clothes and Adam could feel hot tears slipping down his face. A choking sob was what his men around could hear while they disarmed the surviving men of the enemy. Their victory was clear and they could thank that to Neil and his brilliant plan. His last plan.

Adam couldn’t break then. He couldn’t mourn his flesh and blood. First he had to act like the king he was. Orders were to be given, the situation explained to the innocent people of the Volcanoes. He could feel Sauli’s reassuring hand on his shoulder as he tried to collect himself. He looked up at him thankful. The blonde told him to go, he’d take care of Neil’s body. It was clear the commander too was devastated by their loss. He always liked Neil and his sarcastic nature.

So Adam stood up and walked up on a few stairs to face the people. He let the tears dry on his pale face as he told about their victory. He looked at the defeated men kneeling on the ground, hands bound behind their backs. He wanted to give the order to kill them all on the spot. He wanted to watch them all die. They hurt his family and kingdom beyond words, but that was a decision for the war council to make. For now they were imprisoned, the slaves and innocent people of the land freed. He gave orders for the troops to strengthen their defenses in case Thalia decided to attack the fallen land. Reinforcements were only two days away as he learned. From now on the Land of the Volcanoes was their territory too and if the Amazon Queen wanted to attack it, she’d have to count with the anger of the Sand, Sea and Caves too. Adam didn’t think she’d risk that. Not after losing her strong ally.

After that Adam went back to Vito’s chambers just in time to see the body being carried out. He found Isaac sitting on the bed next to Tommy, who was still staring at the floor in front of him. A blanket was wrapped around his naked and shivering body. He wasn’t talking, not even when Adam went over and crouched in front of him. He avoided the dark-haired man’s gaze and only muttered one name: Taylor. Adam had no idea who that was, but he sent Isaac to find the man Tommy was calling for. His heart ached more when Tommy pulled away from his embrace. Figuring he was traumatized by these men too much, Adam didn’t try again, he was just sitting there on the floor.

Now Tommy was in another cabin with said Taylor. It turned out he was a slave and a former boy toy of that disgusting Vito. Tommy closed up completely, only letting Taylor close to him. After talking to the boy Adam learned that he used to treat Tommy’s wounds after the… sessions Vito and his men had on him. Adam didn’t even want to know the details, he could imagine too clearly what kind of awful things his husband had to live through while waiting for them to arrive and save him. But what really bothered him was that Tommy wasn’t communicating with anyone. Not even with Taylor, he just let him take care of his still healing wounds, but no words left him. The boy informed them that he became like this a few days ago and even he couldn’t change it. He said that it was probably his mind protecting itself and that it’d take some time until he’d talk again or even recognize the change of scenery around him.

Adam tried to be understanding and strong and let Taylor do his best to tend to Tommy’s wounds. He knew from experience what had to be done and Adam… he just felt useless. He felt no happiness about their victory. He lost too many things along the way to rejoice. He didn’t know what to do with Tommy, how to bring him out of this state… how to let him start healing. He wondered if the Tommy he knew was gone for good too… Like his baby brother, who looked after Adam a lot of times as if he was the older instead of the younger sibling. Oh damn, how was he supposed to face their parents now? After all, it was all Adam’s fault they lost one of their sons.

It was Adam who insisted on going after Tommy. It was Adam who didn’t want to wait and who took Neil with him. And now his brother’s blood and life was on his consciousness. He sent a messenger ahead so his parents and the kingdom could prepare for the funeral. Oh god, he just made Miriam a widow and his nephew will have to grow up without a father! He’s the worst uncle and son and husband in the world. What was he thinking?

His hands curled in his dark hair, threatening with pulling some out. Another dry and ugly sob fought its way out of his mouth. He messed everything up. Big time. Now everyone will hate him. He should have listened to their father… But then… then who knows if Tommy survived? Who could tell he wouldn’t end up dead soon?

A knock on the door interrupted his intense self-hate. He wiped at his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He had to look strong in front of others. They couldn’t see how broken he really was. He was the king. He had to show strength even if he was choking and sobbing on the inside.

“It’s open,” he said running his hands through his hair to make it appear less messy.

“Sorry for bothering, but you should come, your Majesty…” Isaac said with a sympathetic look.

“What’s going on?” he looked up.

“It’s Tommy…”

“What’s with him?” he stood up instantly and walked closer to his husband’s personal guard.

“He has a high fever… Taylor doesn’t know what to do with him. Probably one of his wounds got infected. He doesn’t know about your family’s… skills so I came to fetch you. Maybe you can help on him,” he said quietly, seeing the deep wrinkles of worry appear on Adam’s pale face.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” the tall man whispered and stepped back to his bed, reaching under it for a brown leather bag.

***

He was floating between darkness and consciousness. He had no idea where he was or who he was, for that matter. He only knew he felt awful. And _so hot_. It was as if his skin wanted to peel off his bones. He prayed for the darkness like he always did lately. There he didn’t have to think or feel, no matter what was happening to him.

Just how long does he have to suffer? What did he do to deserve this fate? He used to be a good boy, a little rebellious as a teen, but who wasn’t like that at that age? He tried to be a good prince, tried to become a good king. And for the short while he actually was a king, he thought he did quite well on the side of his husband. So then why did the gods everyone was so fond of set him this path? Was this their way to punish him for not believing in them?

If it was then they did a good job, because Tommy wanted nothing else than just die and finally find peace. But who could tell if that was the case after death came for him? What if the afterlife was just another form of suffering? If there was an afterlife at all…

_Hot. So fucking hot… Water. Someone give me water…_

But what was he expecting from his captors? The barbaric animals that raped and beat him up repeatedly until he could barely move. The ones who made him starve until he was nearly skin and bones… reaching a point where even if he ate, more than not he threw up that little too… Then after a while – which felt like months to him – he stopped feeling the hunger too. His body was in constant pain most of the time so he started to seek shelter in the depths of his mind. And most of the time it worked.

But not today. Today this heat was dragging him out of his quiet and dark place, making him feel all the wounds, bruises and pain his broken body housed.

Until… until there was a sweet smell mixing into the salty air of the sea. That scratching feeling in the back of his throat from the ash slowly fading away. The scent got somewhat stronger and there was a strange high voice, like when someone was using a singing bowl. It was quite relaxing and certainly drew his attention away from the pain and heat he was feeling.

Then he realized someone was chanting and finally something was cooling his head and arms and that ugly burn on his side. Breathing came somewhat easier and the need to scream for someone to stop this all lessened a bit.

That chanting and the cool touches on him combined with the sweet scent soon relaxed his mind and body enough to send them into a healing deep sleep.

***

“He should be okay from now on. Make sure he gets enough water,” Adam opened his eyes after he came back from the trance-like state he was in. He was using one of the many healing techniques combined with the ancient knowledge he was taught as a Lambert.

The air in the cabin was still heavy with the sweet smell of incense and different kinds of herbs were plastered on Tommy’s wounds.

“When he wakes up, call for me and I’ll prepare an herb tea for him. That should help with the rest of his fewer and relax his mind and body so he can heal faster,” Adam said quietly and put everything away, not caring about the amazed looks he got from Taylor and Isaac.

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Taylor bowed. He looked better than when Adam first saw him. He was bathed, a simple but more comfortable tunic was given to him and the leather-band of the slaves was cut off from his neck. As he and Tommy seemed to have grown close and he was a free man now, he asked if he could go with them to the Sand. Adam had no objection. The boy seemed to know what to do with Tommy and the broken blond let only him close. That hurt Adam, but he didn’t show it. He knew he had to be patient with him.

Now he just nodded and looked at the more relaxed man he called his husband. “Tell me if anything changes about his state.”

“You don’t want to stay?” Isaac asked standing by the door.

“No. I just… can’t. I can’t,” he mumbled picking up his bag and left the cabin to get some fresh air.

***

The ship slowly sailed into the harbor. People were lined up everywhere. Adam looked up at the rebuilt Oudjat and saw the simple black flags of grief dancing in the wind. He sighed and closed his eyes for a few moments to pull himself together and step into the role of the king. His expression was far from his usual one. The pain and exhaustion was clear in the hard lines as they slowly left the ship. He was leading the small march towards the palace while behind him men were carrying the casket covered by a black cloth. Taylor was in a palanquin with Tommy. This time the curtains were drawn closed. They agreed with Isaac that they shouldn’t let the people see their other king in his current state.

It was hot. Adam could feel the sweat beams on his forehead and at the back of his neck. His heart got heavier with each step they took among the grieving people and towards the palace where he’d have to face their parents. Some of the people were crying, but most of them just stood there in silence, giving the respect the dead deserved.

The king was looking straight ahead as he was playing the role which was expected of him. By the time they reached the top of the stairs that led up to the palace, his face was rendered into an expressionless mask.

Former queen or not, first his mother ran to him with tears sliding down on her pale face. It was clear that she had little sleep since she got the bad news. For a moment Adam was afraid she’d slap him or something, but nothing like that happened. Leila just threw her arms around his eldest and sobbed into the broad chest. The young king swallowed hard and put his long arms around his mother. His red eyes were burning from the unshed tears, but somehow he still managed to hold them back as he looked at his father over Leila’s head. Eber had similarly red eyes and he didn’t seem to blame Adam either. Not yet, at least.

After a minute his mother finally let him go and his father could greet him too.

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, mother, father. I couldn’t keep him safe,” he whispered hoarsely and he sighed bitterly when he spotted Miriam with Joshua sitting on her arm, tears flowing freely on her kind face, but she made no sound. Adam made his way to her too and went down on one knee. “Miriam, I beg for your forgiveness too. I do anything you ask to help you and my nephew.”

“Adam… raise. Please,” she whispered while Joshua was watching silently. It seemed the little boy felt it instinctively that something bad happened. “My heart is bleeding as I loved your brother dearly. But I don’t blame you. He had a good death, fighting for you, Tommy and our kingdoms. He had a warrior’s death. Please… don’t blame yourself. What I’d ask for, you cannot fulfill as the dead must stay dead. Thank you for bringing his body back to us,” she said and Adam was amazed just how well his brother had chosen when he took this strong woman as his wife.

The young king stood up, hugged her and Joshua to him and pressed a kiss on his nephew’s head. He could hear him asking for his papa, but Adam was already on his way to rejoin his parents and the march up to the throne room where his brother’s body would be kept until the funeral so the people of Oudjat and the kingdoms could pay their respect.

Once inside the palace they let the servants take the casket away to prepare the body for the ceremonies and for their parents and wife to see Neil and say their goodbyes. Adam already did that on the ship. He was sitting by Neil’s body for hours sobbing, talking to him, thanking him for being the good brother he couldn’t be and apologizing.

“How’s Tommy?” Leila finally asked watching as the palanquin was taken towards the royal chambers.

Adam shook his head and sighed heavily. “He’s not well, mother. He was being tortured… they did horrible things to him. He is still in shock, not himself. It’ll take time. I… we can announce that we managed to save him and that he needs time to heal… But I don’t want the people seeing him like this. Besides the funeral will be there too. I brought a young boy, Taylor with him from the Volcanoes. He used to share the same fate and was to tend Tommy’s wounds while he stayed in that awful place. Sauli stayed behind with his troops…”

“Son, we can talk about these things tomorrow,” he suddenly felt Eber’s hand on his shoulder and Adam couldn’t stand how kind and sympathetic his look was besides the obvious grief in his eyes.

“A-alright…”

“Ron is here and Tommy’s sister’ll probably visit soon too. We’ll talk in the war council tomorrow. As I see you have the traitor captured too,” Eber looked over Adam’s shoulder. The chained and muted Carlo was being dragged towards the prison cells. Adam just nodded, a sudden wave of anger washing over him, but he controlled himself with his last strength. “We’ll deal with his fate tomorrow as well.”

“Go, refresh yourself and try to rest a little, son. You look exhausted,” his mother said softly.

Adam nodded and mumbled a ‘thank you’ and went after Tommy and Taylor just to meet Sutan in the royal chambers, who was already preparing the baths.

Later that night Adam was letting out some tension while crying in his mother’s arms curled up like he and Neil used to do when they were small.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers! Thank you for all the kudos, comments and patience again! :)  
> I just wanted to tell you that next Monday's chapter might be a few days late as I'll be away. I hope breaking the "Monday Update" tradition won't stop you all from waiting the next chapter just as much. I'll try to update as soon as possible, promise! ;)  
> Usi


	14. Let the Light Touch You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah, surprise! :D I thought I wouldn't be able to make it, but last week I carved out some extra time to start the chapter and was able to continue while on the road. So here we go, enjoy! Gonna try not to break the "Monday Update" for the last couple of chapters either ;)  
> Usi

**Chapter 14  
Let the Light Touch You**

The soft warm breeze was ruffling his hair, getting it into his eyes, but he didn’t care. He was sitting between two richly painted columns and although the weather was warm outside, he had a thin blanket wrapped around his skinny body. His cheeks were hollow and there were dark circles under his empty-looking eyes that stared into nothing. The blanket was to try warming him up as his body’s been cold for a week now. He still had no sense of time, but that’s what Sutan’d told him. He always announced the days and chatted about the latest gossip even if he knew Tommy wouldn’t reply or react.

He never came too close to him though. He made that mistake once when he wanted to hug Tommy once he was back, but the blonde shied away from his touch, seeking shelter between Taylor’s arms. Now Sutan kept his distance even if it was killing him a little each day.

It was still just Taylor who could come close to him and touch him to tend his healing wounds. Even so he slept on the bed with Adam. It was big enough to keep a safe distance and the king made sure it was kept as he didn’t want to freak Tommy out. Tommy had missed the pained expression the first night when bedtime came and without thinking Tommy slid on his knees next to the bed offering his mouth for the male in front of him so he could fuck his face like Vito, Carlo or some of his men used to do.

He was confused for a moment when he wasn’t used like that just led to his side of the bed and tucked in. But he was convinced he did something wrong or wasn’t desirable or the male just wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t recognize the change of his surroundings yet. He just saw that his Master, Vito wasn’t around him anymore. He thought the tall male was just one of his other men or he was borrowed to some noble man.

But at least his fever was gone thanks to some strange tea he had to drink and Taylor swore it’d help on him. He didn’t care about his wounds but it was nice not getting knew ones for a while now. He could deal with the physical pain by then, his mind became experienced in protecting itself from it so he could just feel empty and detached from his own body. He spent more and more time in that headspace and it was convenient. But it was harder and harder to come back each time something snapped him out of it. So he just stayed. This was the longest time he’s ever been there, but he stopped caring. Stopped having his own thoughts. He was just a tool. A useless piece of meat. A pretty liar.

But something was different that day. The change was subtle, nearly undetectable.

Tommy turned his eyes from the clear blue sky when he heard singing. A lot of people were singing. It was a sad melody and it touched something that was left of himself deep inside. For a while he just watched the mass of people slowly gathering on the curling streets under the palace and the stairs that led up to the higher levels of the building. There were people carrying a plank full of fragrant lotuses which surrounded a motionless male body. It was covered by a thin white fabric, a bow and an arrow placed below the legs. They were slowly carrying the figure down the stairs, people dressed in bright white following them.

It took Tommy quite some time until his numb mind made him realize that he was watching a funeral. He stayed motionless but his eyes followed the march descending on the stairs to the singing people. Everyone was dressed in white, which could be a bit strange for someone who wasn’t used to the customs of the Sand. They looked at death from a different perspective. Here the dead were mourned but celebrated at the same time as they believed that death was only one step of someone’s life and spiritual growth. That’s why they were all dressed in white instead of black. It symbolized a new beginning just as much as the next step in the funeral.

The body and the grieving family were followed down the streets by countless people. From his spot Tommy could see that they were headed towards the river bank. A part of it with lush palm trees and plants that somehow struck him as familiar, although he couldn’t remember why. For a while he didn’t exactly know what was happening but then he saw the body appear on the water in a small boat. It was pulled by four other slightly bigger boats into the middle of the river Sesen and the body was lit on fire. White smoke curled towards the horizon where the sun was about to set and that’s when thousands of white spots appeared on the water – more lotuses on the river which’s name meant purity and rebirth too.

Tommy’s eyes followed the burning boat accompanied by the four others and the flowers until his eyes could see. Time after time the wind brought him the sounds of singing as he watched the sun make the sky and the city bleed from yellow to red then dark blue as the night arrived. There were torches lit everywhere and feasts all around Oudjat and in the palace in honor of that man. Tommy had no idea who it was, but he figured he must’ve been an important person to have the whole city attend the funeral.

His mind didn’t dwell on it for too long. He just relaxed back into his chair and watched the night slowly take over the city, the different sounds melting into background noise.

***

This was probably the hardest day of his life so far. He and his family had to give his baby brother to the gods. He could feel the intangible presence of Aset, but this time Adam didn’t try to search for her. He just murmured a silent prayer and a thank you for her support. He followed the march silently, not looking at anyone or singing like even his parents and Miriam did. He was rendered speechless and he could only press his lips together not to completely fall apart.

He didn’t let any teardrops escape his burning eyes either. He was the king and although he knew everyone would’ve understood it, he just couldn’t afford it. Not anymore. Not after all that has happened. So he watched his brother’s burning body slowly go down the river from the very spot where they used to bathe together as kids. Their favorite spot by the river. A gift from their silently crying mother who was being held by Eber.

After the priests’ chanting and rituals he said a few words about the devoted prince and brother they’d lost, Adam just stood there silently, grieving on the inside until it was time to head back to the palace. He had no appetite but he had to stay on the feast for a while.

But the first time it wasn’t considered rude to excuse himself he did and headed back to the royal chambers, leaving his parents and Miriam to handle things downstairs. He knew he should have stayed longer, but he just couldn’t. Despite his mother’s soft and reassuring words from earlier, Adam was still blaming himself.

He bumped into Taylor on the corridor and asked him if there was any change, but he just shook his head and retreated for the night. He was staying by a nearby simple room in case his help was needed with Tommy at night, but that didn’t occur until now as the blonde was rarely asleep or when he did, he stayed just as quiet like through daytime.

Adam quietly entered the chambers and walked around the corner to see Tommy already curled up into a tiny ball on his side of the bed. He was so close to the edge that Adam was sure he’d have rather slept on the floor by the foot of the bed. Sometimes when Adam woke during a bad night and didn’t see Tommy on the other side of the bed, he knew he could find him curled up by the foot of the bed like he used to do in that terrible place. Then he had to pick him up and put him back in bed. At those times he couldn’t help but wonder what awful methods and emotional terror Vito must’ve used on his husband to put him in such an awful state.

At times – a lot of times, actually – it felt as if the Tommy he knew was completely gone. Like the blonde had lost all of what he used to be and only an empty shell was left of him. It hurt Adam beyond words to see him like this. There were days when he thought he won’t be able to take this too. There was a lot on his plate and he felt like going crazy because of not being able to help at least on Tommy.

This was one of those overwhelming days because his brother’s funeral just added to that pile. He was beyond tired, sad and lonely. He missed his mate, his husband to whom he could talk about these things or who could just hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

Things were far from alright.

He quietly and slowly undressed until he only had his undergarments on and slid into bed. He turned on his side, facing away from the motionless thin body.

At least he saw the little healthy signs of gaining weight on Tommy. He was so fucking thin and fragile-looking compared to his already slim built. A week ago Adam had a little doubt that Tommy’s system would be strong enough to fight off that fever. But now slowly he was looking a bit healthier thanks to Taylor. The young king didn’t know what he’d have done without that boy.

But now his head was full of other things. Memories of his little brother. He was absolutely not in the mood to stay downstairs and go through these memories in the presence of others and strangers. He wanted to do this alone. And now he felt utterly alone despite the small sleeping form behind him. He knew Tommy wouldn’t react to him anyways. He was getting used to it even if his heart was breaking each time he got no or the wrong responses from his husband.

But now… now he finally could let go of his emotions and pain and soon he was silently crying into his pillow, his body slightly shaking and trembling from the intensity of his grief.

He had no idea for how long he’s been crying like that, but suddenly he felt the bed move behind him and a slender hand was carefully put on his upper-arm. He sucked in a breath and tried to think clearly for a moment while tensing up. It was so unexpected he had no idea what to do so he just sniffed and stayed like that until he could feel the small body slowly slide closer and nuzzle to him from behind. Seconds passed and when Tommy didn’t move away, Adam’s tears continued but now not just because of his grief but from some relief and hope too…

***

 Adam was sitting in one of the two thrones looking over the throne room. There wasn’t a mass of people in there. No, this trial wasn’t for the masses. Only the nobles of Oudjat and the war council – Ron, Eber, Leila, Isaac, Longineu, the high priests of both the Sand and the Sea, Ron’s and the Caves’ advisor and King Adam – were present.

Guards were standing along both lines of columns that led to the heavy main doors of the palace opposite the thrones. Two guards were standing behind a kneeling figure, his hands tied up behind his back. His clothes were dirty and ragged here and there.

“Carlo Dioli, you know well why you are here in front of us,” the high priest of the Sand started from the top of the few stairs that led up to the thrones. “But for those who does not know, as a citizen of the Land of the Sea, you are accused of high treason for the kidnapping and torturing of King Tomas, who is still recovering from his injuries; of conspiring with the late Captain Vito of the Land of the Volcanoes and Queen Thalia of the Islands of Gorgo. Furthermore, you are accused of…”

Adam zoned out on the other crimes the priest read up from a parchment in his hands. He had to control himself not to get up and open the throat of this traitor. He was one of the men who tortured and raped his husband, who wasn’t there on the rightful place next to Adam. Tommy’s throne was empty because of this man too. It took all his energy to keep the neutral mask on his face which still looked disdainful.

The brunette man slowly looked up and instead of fear for his life a sick half-smile played on his lips. It was clearly mocking Adam, Tommy and the accusations against him. That look made Adam’s blood boil with anger. How did this low-life dare to act like this after what he’d done to Tommy?! Adam would have none of that. He stood up and silenced the priest with a wave of his hand.

“You know you’ll pay for what you’ve done. So I don’t think any of this is funny.”

Carlo chuckled shortly and shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve reached my goal and you can do nothing to undo it.”

“Your goal?” Adam raised a brow questioningly.

“Yes. To make your precious little husband’s life miserable. I avenged my cousin’s life and took my time playing with that nicely tamed pet of yours… And even if he comes back to his senses, he’ll always be reminded of us by his scars,” he grinned.

“You’re just as much of a monster like that sick bastard Vito was. I don’t know what Thomas did to your cousin, but what you did to my husband, your king, was outrageous and completely unacceptable…”

“He is NOT my king! He never was! You don’t know a lot of things, _your Majesty_!” he said mockingly. “For example, I’m sure you thought that my fake letter was just like that: fake. Well, you’re wrong. We used to be lovers with your husband and he _did_ cheat on you the night before I drugged and kidnapped him,” he spat. “He loved my mouth on him. He never wanted to resist.”

“Shut your mouth!” Adam cried out, anger flaring up in his eyes. “You have no right to talk about him like this! I’ll tell you what’ll happen to you and then we’ll see if that grin of yours will stay on your face!” he took a step closer, itching to smash in said face, but instead he just clenched and unclenched his fists a few times. He let the silence stretch for a few moments. He could hear that the whole hall fell into a deadly silence, waiting for the verdict to the crimes of this man – the cause of the attack on Oudjat and the person, who tortured their other king. Moreover, the reason of the battle which killed their beloved Prince Neil. They didn’t know exactly what happened to King Thomas, but all the hurt their enemy caused was enough for them to want some kind of retaliation.

They wanted Carlo to pay as they saw him as the symbol of all the pain and suffering the United Kingdoms suffered.

“I’m not sure if you know, but after each war we win, we have a ceremony to offer blood sacrifice to the gods as our gratitude. We choose the sacrifice from the defeated enemy. This time, you’ll be that sacrifice. I hope you’ve prayed for forgiveness, because it won’t be a pleasant way to enter the afterlife tonight,” he said and this time it was Adam, who had a dark smile on his face seeing the blood rush out of Carlo’s cheeks.

“No…” he started, but Adam waved for the guards to take him away and prepare him for the ceremony. The hall got filled with Carlo’s protests and curses as he was being dragged out and the approving yells and murmurs of the nobles.

Adam turned around and looked at the members of the war council. Not all of them were keen to accept Adam’s decision about the fate of Carlo when he told it to them earlier, but the king found it important to make an example of the traitor. That way their enemies would know what to expect in case they decided to attack the United Kingdoms of the Sand, the Sea, the Caves and now the Volcanoes too.

***

Adam was emotionally exhausted by the time he went back to the royal chambers. He needed some time to calm down and collect his thoughts. Did Carlo tell the truth about the cheating or was that just another trick to hurt him one last time? Adam knew he couldn’t ask Tommy about it yet. Although Tommy started slowly improving since the night of Neil’s funeral, he still wasn’t completely himself.

As Adam turned at the corner of the short corridor that led to the bed chamber of their suite, he saw Tommy sitting on the edge of their bed. That wasn’t unusual, but this time Tommy looked right into Adam’s eyes and the tiniest of smiles tugged at the edge of his mouth. He looked a bit healthier than previously.

“Adam…” he whispered a bit hoarsely and he had to clear his throat. It’s been a while since he talked.

“Tommy… you’re back?” Adam asked with disbelief but he could already feel a weight being lifted off his chest. He took a few steps towards his husband, but he quickly stopped, not wanting to startle him.

“Yeah…” he whispered and reached out a hand for Adam.

The tall man walked to him and took the slender hand in his much bigger one as he sat down next to Tommy and lightly squeezed his fingers. “I’m so happy, baby. I’ve terribly missed you…” he sighed relieved.

“I’m sorry,” Tommy dropped his gaze.

“No. You don’t have to apologize. None of this is your fault,” Adam shook his head.

“But it is…” Tommy sighed bitterly, but continued before Adam could protest. “When did I get back here?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Just bits and pieces.”

“I see. You had a fever on our way back. We’ve returned a bit more than two weeks ago,” Adam answered while playing with Tommy’s fingers. Truth be told, he wanted to hug him tight and never let go, but he wasn’t sure if he could.

“Oh…” Tommy looked up at Adam, examining his face. “What happened to M… to the Captain?” he corrected himself before he could call him ‘Master’. That was the only title he could address him when he had to.

Adam lightly frowned, but let it go. He knew what Tommy wanted to say. He called that monster ‘Master’ in his tear-filled nightmares from which Adam had to wake Tommy at least 2 or 3 times a night. “Neil killed him with an arrow through the head. You were in shock, I think, so you don’t remember.”

“Probably. I was… away,” he looked down and with his free hand he pressed the edge of one of his bandages.

He still had a lot of those. Once Adam watched Taylor tend to the countless healing whip-marks on Tommy’s back, ass and arms. Adam couldn’t stay in the room for long. Not because he found the injuries disgusting, but because they were another reminder that he couldn’t protect his husband. It was outrageous how those sick bastards broke that creamy skin’s perfection. It was likely that some deeper wounds would scar like on Taylor’s skin. To prevent that – as much as possible – Adam brought a special balm he made in the temple to speed up the healing process.

“But what counts is that you are finally back. Here, with me…” Adam whispered and watched as Tommy slowly nodded.

“Sorry about your brother… you lost him because of me,” he sighed trying to turn away, but Adam didn’t let him.

“No. Tommy, look at me, please,” he asked gently taking Tommy’s pale face in his hands. He still felt a little cold to the touch and skinnier than usual. “It’s not your fault. I feel myself responsible. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you in time… I’m sorry I got there so late. I thought I’ve lost you for good…” he whispered as tears collected in his eyes. “I thought I could never tell you that I love you,” he said barely audible but didn’t get the response he was hoping for.

Tommy pulled a little back and suddenly seemed shy and at a loss, like someone who doesn’t know what to do in such a situation. And maybe he really didn’t know now how to take it. Then Adam thought he saw some guilt appear on his face too as he stayed silent for a long minute. “But… I don’t deserve you… any of this,” he waved around the room and hung his head low again “and I definitely didn’t deserve your brother giving his life to save me,” he said as silent tears ran down his face. “I don’t deserve anything. I’m just a little cheating liar.”

“No, Tommy, no! Don’t say such things!” Adam grabbed the blonde’s shoulders, ignoring the cheating part of his answer for now.

Tommy’s reaction was immediate. His whole body tensed under Adam’s touch as he slightly jerked back in a weak attempt to get free, his eyes rounding as he was staring at his own thighs and his breathing hitched. When Adam realized his mistake, he let Tommy go right away. His husband was visibly shaking and clearly at the brink of a panic attack.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t hurt you, Tommy,” he said feeling himself choking up. “I could never willingly hurt you…” he said watching worried that his husband put his arms around his middle and curled on himself. “Just breathe, Tommy. Please…”

“T-taylor… I need Taylor,” he forced out and Adam felt his heart drop, but still he slowly stood up and headed towards the door.

“I’ll get him. Please, keep breathing. We’ll talk later,” he added and hurried out of their chambers to knock on Taylor’s nearby door. When he opened the door, Adam only had to say “Tommy needs you,” and the young boy was already on his way.

The king followed from a distance and watched them from the shadows. His chest was aching while watching Tommy hug the other boy after he calmed down. Adam couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but the way they interacted, that special bond they had left a bitter taste in Adam’s mouth. It should be Adam having that bond. It should be him taking care of his husband’s wounds. It should be him receiving such hugs. Instead he could only offer his love for that small blond and he could do that only from the distance in fear of overwhelming him even more. Although his heart was aching from not hearing back what he was hoping for, he understood that Tommy just came back and was still emotionally unstable. He swallowed hard and blinked a few times to stop the burning in his eyes.

He turned away when Taylor started changing Tommy’s bandages. It was the perfect night – after the execution of Carlo – to drink until he passed out.


	15. I Come Alive in Slow Motion

**Chapter 15  
I Come Alive in Slow Motion**

“Please, I want to see them.”

Adam’s request was echoing in Tommy’s mind as he looked at his husband unsure. He’s been asking for this in the last few weeks, but Tommy always said no. He felt ashamed and ugly. Ruined for life. He never really cared when people told him that he was beautiful or pretty. To be honest, from the latter word he itched nowadays as it reminded him of the time he spent in captivity. But now… Now he knew he was ugly and disgusting because of his healed, but still shiny and red scars which were caused by the whip Vito and Carlo used on him to torture and blemish his smooth pale skin. And Adam wanted to see that ruined skin.

Tommy’s stomach turned from the idea and he was breathing a bit faster as he dropped his gaze.

“Please. I don’t care about the scars. You’re still perfect to me, Tommy,” Adam said gently and the blond man had to press his eyes together.

He was hesitating. He thought Adam would change his mind and be grossed out. He always hated to be so small and scrawny despite all the exercises and fights he did to get stronger. Now the scars just added to the feeling of not feeling good in his own skin. But he could thank himself for the scars. He was stubborn and refused spilling the secrets of the Sand and the Sea. He didn’t regret keeping his mouth shut though. He didn’t want to become a traitor and fail as the king of his people. He paid his prize and he wouldn’t care about the scars if they came from a fair fight or if he wasn’t married. He could be wearing them proud if he got them during defending himself and his land, but no, they were a constant reminder of his humiliation and weakness.

On the other hand, Adam knew how he looked before. He praised his flawless skin countless times, told him how much he loved its smoothness. Well, that smoothness was gone for good and Tommy had to admit that he was afraid of making Adam think he was ugly. He was afraid that his own husband would be too disgusted to be around him or touch him. Not that there was much touching going on between them since Tommy was brought back to the Sand. Aside from that one time he tried to comfort Adam with nuzzling to him at the night of Neil’s funeral, he got anxious and jumpy when someone came too close to him or tried to touch or hug him. So he avoided that as much as he could. He still only let Taylor touch him when he put ointment on the scars that remained on his skin. Twenty-two scars, to be exact. So Tommy made sure that Adam never saw him naked.

“You can’t hide from me forever, Tommy,” he heard Adam say and the blonde looked up into his eyes biting his healed lips.

Adam has been so patient with him, so understanding. Tommy started feeling himself bad for isolating himself this much and causing more pain to his husband. He himself didn’t matter, but Adam lost much more than just his dignity.

Finally Tommy sighed and stood up from the edge of the bed where he’s been sitting after getting ready for bed. Adam was already sitting on his own side watching Tommy. The blonde could feel his intense eyes on him, which made him feel uncomfortable, but they have been working on that too.

By now Tommy knew more of the Lamberts’ secret teachings as Adam tried to help him with different methods. Taylor told Tommy that it was Adam who made the healing ointments, lotions and teas which were applied on his wounds or were drank by him. But there was more. After Tommy’s _real return_ Adam tried to spend as much time with his husband as possible. The war council could usually deal with the questions and problems which came up or with the aftermaths of the battle they had with the army of the Volcanoes by their door step while Adam was in Devil’s Hook to save his husband. They won the war, but they were working on strengthening their own army and were building more warships. Adam refused to be unprepared for battles in the future – let it be with Queen Thalia or anyone else.

The freckled man used his alone time with Tommy teaching him a breathing technique which could help on his quite frequent panic attacks. It was normal though to have them after the trauma he went through. Another method he used was teaching Tommy to meditate and relax his mind and tense body. He was slowly getting better at it and he had less panic attacks or nightmares thanks to Adam’s patience and teachings. Not to mention that by now he could sleep at least a couple of hours at nights. It was still strange for Tommy to learn these things, but it was interesting and next to helping him heal at least those sessions distracted his mind from his dark thoughts.

“Alright… I’ll do it… just… I know they’re ugly…” he mumbled. He wanted to say ‘I know I’m ugly’, but changed his mind in the last moment. He sighed heavily and dropped his gaze as he took off the soft tunic he started wearing for sleep. He was facing the bed only in his undergarment and avoided Adam’s eyes. His wounds at the front were completely healed by now and the ink on his arms weren’t too much damaged either, but Tommy was already thinking of asking Ashley to redo some of the tattoos once his skin was completely healed. Maybe he’ll ask for a more intricate tattoo all over his back too to hide the scars or make them less prominent. He knew that his front wasn’t what Adam was curious about, but it took a minute for him to reveal his back. He took a few deep breaths the way Adam taught him and finally turned around to sit back on the edge of the bed. He bent his head and was glad that this way he didn’t have to see the pity or disgust in his husband’s eyes.

The silence stretched between them and Tommy started nervously biting his lip again, his hands picking at the cover by his thighs. His mind was already coming up with insane things, only making him worry more, but then he felt and heard Adam coming closer behind him. His body tensed and he felt his heart beating faster in his chest, breathing quickening.

“Just breathe, baby…” he heard Adam’s soft voice from behind. He was within arm’s reach, but didn’t come closer. Tommy hated that everyone was walking on eggshells around him, but at the same time he needed it too to protect himself. He quickly focused on his breathing and soon calmed down and his body relaxed a bit too.

“Can I touch them?” Adam’s question startled him a bit and he licked his suddenly dry lip, his hands fisting around the black and gold cover.

“Uhm…” he started, wanting to say ‘no’ so badly, but they talked about this too with Adam. At some point Tommy had to start letting Adam closer again. He took a deep breath and just nodded, slightly turning his head to the side, but still not looking back at the other man.

The first touch made his body tense up again and he bit his lip hard not to jump up right away. Adam continued gently tracing the shiny scars without a word while Tommy was focusing on his breathing, fighting off a panic attack. As minutes passed by it became a bit easier and his tense muscles started slowly relaxing too. He closed his eyes under the gentle, feather-light strokes.

“They are a part of you now, Tommy. You’ll eventually have to accept that,” Adam said softly while tracing one of the longest scars starting from Tommy’s shoulder and going down across his shoulder-blade and back.

“I… I know… it’s just…” he whispered hoarsely but trailed off.

“It’s just what, baby? Please, tell me.”

“They… they make me ugly, doesn’t they?” he uttered what really bothered him.

“Oh baby, don’t say silly things… This is what you are afraid of? That I’d see you ugly and wouldn’t want to touch you?” Adam asked and waited until Tommy nodded. “That’s stupid. In my eyes you are just as beautiful… and I’ll always want to touch you. You are my husband…” he whispered as he slowly leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Tommy’s naked shoulder. “I love you, Tommy. No matter what. You are my beautiful husband and I love you until my last breath,” he whispered and pulled back to gently turn Tommy’s body to the side so he could sit between Adam’s open legs.

The small man slowly looked up into Adam’s eyes and felt relieved when he saw that Adam was telling the truth and there was no pity or disgust in those amazing blue eyes, just love. Pure and unconditional. It made Tommy’s heart flutter and he had to swallow hard as a knot in his stomach started to ease up. “You mean it,” he whispered more as a statement than a question.

“I do,” Adam nodded and kept slowly caressing Tommy’s back, feeling the bumps of the scars under his palm as they protruded from the healthy skin. “I was so scared I’d never see you again, that I’d lose you. That’s when I really realized how much I fell in love with you since our wedding. Please, believe me when I say that nothing changed between us. You are and will be my husband, my love, my soulmate. I just want you to feel better. Heal both physically and mentally. I know it will be a slow process, but I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I want to help in any way I can…” he gave him a small smile.

Tommy looked hopeful as he searched the freckled face. “Thank you. I know I’m fucked up and unsure and I hate it… I want to be… I want to be like before all this went down. I really do… but I think that Tommy is gone for good.”

“I don’t mind as long as the new Tommy’ll stay by my side. We are already dealing with this and will continue doing so. Besides I love the new Tommy the same. I promise I’ll be patient and help whenever you need it.”

“You’re already helping me a lot, Adam. I’m grateful for that. I’m trying to get better for you.”

“No, not for me. Get better for yourself, Tommy. I’ll be happy if you do that.”

“O-okay. But… there’s something I should tell,” he averted his eyes again as a wave of guilt and worry washed over him and he tensed a bit once more.

“What is it?” Adam asked watching Tommy nervously biting his lip again. It was a habit he picked up lately.

“I… I’m not proud of what I’ve done… I guess I could blame it on the drinks I had or the fact that… his unexpected appearance surprised and confused me, but it still wouldn’t change the fact that I… I cheated on you with Carlo,” he swallowed hard and wanted to curl up as small as possible in fear of Adam’s anger. He wondered if all the rapes he had to suffer through counted as cheating too, but he banished that thought for now.

Adam didn’t react as Tommy expected. “Tommy… baby, look at me,” he tipped his chin up with two fingers under the ashamed man’s chin. He waited until Tommy’s sad brown eyes met his. “I know. It hurts, I won’t lie about it, but I already knew about that. Carlo wrote a fake letter in your name while he… took you away from me… I thought it was a lie, but he reminded me during his trial too. I hoped he was just lying to hurt me more, but I guess it was the truth then. Look, Tommy… I’ll get over it. I’m just glad I got you back. If you try not to do that to me in the future, we can start clean. We can leave the past behind us now that everyone responsible for hurting you is gone. We can build a new future together. A happier future. What do you say? You would like that?” Adam asked searching Tommy’s eyes.

“Yeah… yeah I would like that very much…” Tommy whispered barely audible as his eyes welled up with tears and he sniffed. “I’m so sorry, Adam… I’m so sorry for everything…” he said as the first two drops slid down on his pale skin. “I promise I won’t do anything like that in the future. I… I promise,” he said shaking lightly as he tried keeping his emotions under control. After days and sometimes weeks being detached from his own body and suppressing all that’s happened to him along with his emotions, they were sometimes all over the place now. There were random times when Tommy burst out in tears shaking like a leaf. They knew from Taylor that it was normal. It was a sign that Tommy started dealing with what happened to him. Another step in his healing. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

“I know and it’s okay, baby…” Adam assured him and couldn’t help himself, he had to gently hug Tommy to him. First the freckled man thought he’d pull away as he felt how much he tensed up again and heard the tiny gasp too, but after a few moments he relaxed into the hug and buried his face into Adam’s chest. The bigger man didn’t mind Tommy’s tears wetting his tunic he started to wear for sleep too. Although they usually slept naked, this was an attempt not to intimidate Tommy with having to sleep with a naked man in the same bed after everything.

Once Tommy calmed down enough while Adam was holding him and stroking his hair he sighed. “Can I ask you something, Tommy?”

“Sure,” he lifted his head off Adam’s chest to be able to look at his husband. Adam lifted a hand and wiped off the remains of Tommy’s tears.

“I can’t really help it so I’m sorry about that, but… I feel kinda jealous of Taylor…”

“What? Why?” Tommy rounded his eyes surprised.

“I know he’s been helping you a lot as he was the only person you let close to you. I know he tended your wounds back there too… I just… well, I’ve noticed how close you two got. The bond between the two of you. I promise I won’t get mad at you, no matter what but… should I be jealous?” he asked softly and a bit worried.

“No, Adam. No!” Tommy shook his head and sat up more straight in the embrace. “I swear, you don’t have to. He’s just someone I trust, someone who went through the same things I did. I guess I could say that he became my friend. But nothing more. Really. I never looked at him like that and he likes girls more anyway,” he claimed.

“Alright, alright, I believe you, baby. Don’t work yourself up on this, please. I believe you. I just wanted to see clear,” he smiled softly down at him, seeing the truth in Tommy’s nearly desperate-looking eyes. He caressed his face with his thumb until he relaxed again. Adam felt relieved too as he wasn’t one for sharing the man he loved and he just barely got Tommy back. He didn’t want anyone to come between them. Especially now when they had to work on getting close again too. He ran his fingertip along Tommy’s jaw-line and leaned down to give him a tiny peck on the lips then pulled back to see his reaction. He was a bit afraid that maybe he shouldn’t have done that. “Was this okay?”

Tommy didn’t have to hesitate with his nod and he even gave Adam a tiny smile as it truly felt okay. He was moved by how much Adam cared and didn’t want to hurt him in any way. He really didn’t deserve this wonderful man. He even forgave his unfaithfulness and wanted to have a future with him! Tommy was flooded by gratitude. Not just for saving him and caring about him, but because Adam gave him hope. The promise of getting better and a better future is what keeps Tommy waking up in the morning and work with Adam.

For a while he was shocked and in denial of what happened to him. Then the rage came and he wrecked more than one piece of furniture in the process. He knew that both Vito and Carlo and the other guards who abused him were all dead and he couldn’t strangle them with his bare hands, so the poor furniture had to suffer for that. But no one said anything about it. They understood and Tommy didn’t talk about it. Then he accepted what happened and finally he got to the point where he wanted to get better. For Adam, for himself, for the kingdoms. No one saw him in public since he was brought back and he knew that the day would come soon enough when he’ll have to leave the chambers and stand out in front of his people. But for now the idea of facing so many people still made him nauseous. For now he was starting to get comfortable around Sutan, Isaac and Adam too. Adam. He was the most important. He wanted him to have his husband back as much as possible.

That’s why he fought the urge to pull back and instead he mustered up all his courage and closed his eyes to lean up and kiss the freckled lips. The soft encouraging moan he got made him peck Adam’s lips a few more times before he let the kiss get deeper. He then realized how much he’d missed the taste of his husband’s lips and tongue as it slowly slid in his mouth and took its time massaging his own. The uneasy feeling in his chest slowly eased up and he completely melted into the kiss which went on for long minutes.

“Let’s lie down and try to sleep, okay?” Adam said with the gentlest and proudest smile Tommy ever saw on his face. The blue eyes were sparkling with happiness and hope and it made the blonde man return the smile as he nodded.

They soon got comfortable with Adam lying on his back and Tommy snuggled up against his side, a big hand gently caressing the narrow back. It didn’t bother Tommy that much anymore. Adam accepted him like this too and he had no idea it was something he really needed to know to be able to heal faster.

“Did Carlo suffer?” Tommy asked after a while.

Adam opened his eyes and stared at the painted ceiling. “I may have given him less drugs and perform the sacrifice slower than necessary…” he said thinking back at the ritual and the struggles of the dying man.

“That’s… good,” Tommy said after a moment and sighed a bit calmer as he closed his eyes and soon fell into an exhausted sleep. It was the first night in a long while when he had no nightmares.

***

There was something else Tommy – and everyone else around him – realized soon after that. Spending time with Neil’s little boy, Joshua helped on him too. He opened up easier to the small boy and he was a sweetheart anyway. In some things he reminded Tommy of Neil and he still couldn’t fight the guilt he felt for being the reason why this little boy had to grow up without his father, but he couldn’t do anything about that now, could he? He wished he had the power to bring his father and Adam’s brother back, but he just had to deal with how things were. And he was trying hard.

He was helping Joshua in building a tower from painted wooden blocks while Sutan watched over them pretending to be cleaning and doing other things which weren’t necessary, when he suddenly heard a little girl’s squeak and he barely had time to open his arms and close them around his niece, Bridget.

“Uncle Tommy! Surprise!” she giggled holding on to Tommy, who quickly pushed back the urge to let her go. Easing himself into letting others touch him was better than being jumped on like this, but he knew his niece couldn’t help it. So he just let her hug him for a few more seconds and kiss his face all over. That actually made him chuckle softly.

“Well, it is a big surprise,” he looked up seeing her sister standing next to a servant who led them there. “But a good one,” he smiled genuinely. “Now let me look at you,” he held Bridget at arms’ length. “You grew a lot, princess,” he said and watched the little girl beam proudly.

“Yes I did! I have to get tall and strong to be able to protect my baby sister or brother!” she announced and Tommy glimpsed at Liza again, who was stroking her round belly smiling warmly.

“That’s a great plan, sweetheart,” Tommy assured.

“I know. Who’s he?” she asked looking at the curiously watching Joshua.

“He’s Prince Joshua, Adam’s nephew. Prince Joshua, this is Princess Bridget, my niece,” he smiled watching the kids getting to know each other.

“A prince?” she giggled as she sat down opposite the boy. “I’ll call you Joshy!” she smirked, making Tommy softly chuckle again.

“Play with him for a while, okay? I’ll talk to your mother,” he stroked her brown curls and smiled again as she nodded and turned her attention to the younger boy while Tommy got up from the carpet they were sitting on and made his way to Liza.

“It’s so good to see you, Tommy,” she greeted him with a careful hug. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“You did surprise me. It’s good to see you too,” he said and pecked her cheeks as he took one of her hands. “Come, sit down. You shouldn’t be traveling with such a big belly, sis,” he gently scolded Liza.

“I know, but I wanted to see you with my own eyes. I’ve heard about everything and I was so scared and worried. But… you look good, Tommy,” she said as they walked to some comfortable chairs by a round table and sat down.

“Thank you, sis. I’m trying.”

“I can see that. Adam’s taking good care of you?”

“Yes. He’s… wonderful,” he blushed lightly. “He goes away only when there are duties that require his presence as king. Did you meet father yet?”

“Adam’s a good man. You’re lucky to have such a husband. Yes, I did. We talked a little then I came up to see you.”

For a while they were chatting about the things that were going on in her kingdom and at home then the recent war came up too. They were keeping an eye on the kids as well as a servant brought some snacks for them.

Tommy just popped a grape in his mouth when his sister turned to him again.

“So how are you really, Tommy?” she asked on a more quiet voice.

“I’m better. It was much worse,” he said just as quietly. “I’m trying hard and Adam helps a lot. Sis… I’m glad I married this man. I don’t think many would have so much patience, no matter how much I don’t want to be a burden to him.”

“I’m sure you aren’t a burden to him. It’s just natural that he wants to help the man he loves,” she said and gently slid her hand on the back of Tommy’s as it was resting on the table.

“He really loves me, huh?” he asked with a small dreamy smile.

“It’s very obvious, but he told me too,” she answered examining her brother’s face.

“He did?”

“Yes, he did. He’s just as much in love with you as you are with him.”

“What? How…?” Tommy asked a bit shocked.

“I know you, Tommy. And despite everything I never saw your eyes light up the way it just did when I told you that Adam loves you. It’s okay and right to feel like that towards him. He’s a good man and I love him forever for saving you and trying to take such good care of you.”

Tommy blushed and played with a grape on the table. “You’re right, sis. I do love him. I’m just… trying to work myself towards opening up to him again… and telling it to him.”

“I understand,” she nodded pulling her hand back to rub her belly. “You two’ll make it.”

“How do you know? I might still fuck it up…” Tommy glimpsed at his sister.

“It’s because I can already see the hope in your eyes and the way you talk about Adam tells everything. Your bond goes deep. Keep trying, because it’ll be worth it.”

“I will. I promise,” he smiled a little shyly.

“Good. And aw, don’t go all blushing on me!” she chuckled softly. “You’re cute though.”

“Oh shut up…” Tommy blushed even more but it felt good to smile and laugh again. “Are you gonna stay until my niece or nephew is born?”

“Probably. I don’t want to risk a long trip back to the Caves so close to giving birth. My king’ll come after me once he can,” she said rubbing her belly again. “Wanna feel the baby? It’s active now,” she asked and had to smile again as Tommy nodded and reached out to feel his niece or nephew under his palm, not having any bad feelings about the physical contact as he got lost in the miracle that was going on with his sister again. He wondered if that’d ever happen to him and Adam with the help of a woman. He didn’t notice but Liza was watching him and could pretty much read Tommy’s thoughts off his face. She was getting hopeful too seeing that his brother’s thoughts were turning more and more away from the trauma that happened to him and towards happier future plans.


	16. Know Where You've Been, But I Don't Care

**Chapter 16  
Know Where You've Been, But I Don’t Care**

Having his sister and niece around the palace was reassuring and first Tommy didn’t even notice how much faster he was healing. It was good for him to play around with the kids and have longer talks with Taylor who told him how he tried to deal with his abuse in the past. Tommy knew that it could be different to everyone how they coped, but as the days went by, things got easier bit by bit. He saw on Adam too that he was less worried and smiled more while watching Tommy or just walking around the palace.

Tommy slowly got used to the idea of coming out of their chambers and in a few days he surprised the war council when he entered the room where they were holding a meeting about the actual problems at hand. He felt only a bit uneasy when the other men greeted him with handshakes or squeezing his shoulder. His father even hugged him and he managed to return it without wanting to step back. He saw over Ron’s shoulder how proud Adam looked as he watched them.

As soon as everyone greeted him he walked over to the seat where Adam was and not caring about anyone or that it was very much not king-like behaviour he sat on his lap and pecked his lips. The beaming smile and the ‘I’m so proud of you’ he got from Adam for that was worth everything. After that he started working on getting more and more involved in the kingdoms’ issues again.

He still had a few panic attacks, but they came very rarely by the time he felt strong enough to get dressed and appear in front of the people of Oudjat. He looked down at them from the terrace over the main gate of the palace and waved and smiled gratefully for their love and concern. That day they had a feast in the palace and there were celebrations all over the city too partly in honor of their victory and saying goodbye to those members of the war council who had to travel back to the Sea or the Caves… and partly because of King Thomas’ recovery.

It was the first evening Tommy spent down in the dining hall sitting next to Adam, holding his hand for nearly all along. He made sure he only drank fruit juices or water as he was still a bit paranoid about alcoholic beverages since his kidnapping. Having Adam on his side all evening made Tommy more comfortable and he managed to smile and exchange a few sentences with some other people too.

When Adam saw on Tommy that people were tiring him out, he excused them and they retreated for the night. The tall man smiled satisfied when on their back to their chambers Tommy slid his slender hand in his as they were walking down a corridor.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he whispered in the half-light, which mostly hid Tommy’s sudden blush.

“Thank you. It wasn’t as bad as I imagined it’d be,” he confessed as they climbed the last set of stairs and turned a corner which led to their corridor.

“You came along far, Tommy,” he nodded and gently squeezed his husband’s hand, who laced their fingers together as an answer.

They were both lost in their thoughts for a while until they got ready for bed, but when Adam wanted to put on his night-time tunic, Tommy took it from his hands and let it drop next to the bed shaking his head. Adam looked questioningly at him and Tommy bit his lip and blushed lightly again as he looked up into his eyes.

“I want to try sleeping naked tonight,” he cleared his throat and with slightly shaking hands he pushed Adam’s undergarment down. He shyly let his eyes wander down on the nicely toned and very much freckled body before he undressed too with his heart beating hard in his chest as he took Adam’s hand and pulled him under the covers.

Adam just smiled softly as he let Tommy nuzzle against his side and rest his hand on his stomach and head on his shoulder. It was how Tommy preferred to fall asleep on him lately. “You sure about this?”

“Yeah…” Tommy whispered taking a few deep breaths. After the success of that day he felt pretty satisfied and brave. He was just lying there motionless for a few minutes until he relaxed and felt Adam’s breathing becoming more even as he was slowly falling asleep after an eventful day. But Tommy had other plans.

He bit his lip and watched as his hand started drawing small circles on Adam’s flat stomach, inching lower and lower towards the edge of the black and gold cover that was up to their waists. He heard a breathy sigh as he ran his fingertips along the sensitive skin of Adam’s lower tummy.

“Tommy… what are you doing?” he heard from above and felt Adam’s hand move on his shoulder as Tommy’s fingertips disappeared under the edge of the cover. He was determined to reach his goal and the heat he felt with his fingertips was a good sign.

“I just… want to try something…” he whispered barely audible and sounded less sure than how he felt himself. It’s been months by now since they touched intimately and Tommy knew that this was the department where he’d have the most work to do.

“I can’t really promise to be able not to get too excited if you continue this… You know that, right?” Adam asked gently and Tommy could feel the shiver that made goose bumps appear all over his husband’s body when his curious fingers closed around the hardening meat. He gave him an experimental pull and it made Adam moan low.

Tommy looked up just in time to see the pleasure on his handsome face. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes closed as he enjoyed Tommy’s touches. That sight encouraged Tommy more and after wetting his palm with his saliva he rubbed him a bit harder, smearing pre-come all over to make it easier to work on his husband’s still growing cock. “I know… but I want to give you pleasure. You sacrificed so much to help me… Let me do this. I promise I’m feeling fine…” he said softly and returned Adam’s searching look.

“Okay… but stop whenever you feel uncomfortable…” Adam panted and caressed Tommy’s shoulder reassuringly.

The blonde man bit his lip again as he nodded then turned back his attention to what he was doing. Soon the cover slid lower and now he could see too how hard he made Adam. He nuzzled closer and put his head back on Adam’s chest as he was watching his hand working on his erection. His heart was beating wild, but to his relief, he seemed to be okay with giving a hand-job to his husband.

Sometimes he changed the pace and the intensity of his grip on the thick and long rod or twisted his palm over the head. He didn’t risk tasting him yet, but the telltale moans and the heaving of Adam’s chest under his head made it clear that he was enjoying this a lot without that too. He could feel his husband’s fingers twitch on his shoulder where he was holding him and the way he was moaning told Tommy that he was getting close quickly. No wonder after months without sex and when Adam had to probably rely only on his own hand.

“Baby… I’m gonna…” Adam panted warning Tommy, which only warmed the blonde’s heart again.

“It’s okay… come…” he whispered feeling the hard meat pulse in his grip and after three more strokes Adam shot his load all over his own stomach and Tommy’s hand. Adam was moaning loud as the blonde man stroked him through his orgasm until touching became too much.

Tommy slowly let him go and lifted his messy hand to his lips. He tentatively tasted Adam from his finger, happy that the taste didn’t bring any flashbacks. He felt Adam caress along his arm and back with a satisfied groan and Tommy turned his head to look up at him.

“Thank you, baby. It was wonderful. How are you feeling?” he asked already a little worried.

“I’m…” Tommy paused to look into himself “I’m fine,” he smiled at Adam relieved and leaned up to peck his lips before he reached over the other man’s body for the wash cloth. He cleaned up Adam then his own hand, letting Adam gently caress his back and side, deliberately avoiding Tommy’s ass as he thought he wouldn’t be ready for that and he didn’t want to push him anyways.

“I’m happy to hear that, baby. It’s wonderful!” Adam said genuinely happy for Tommy, who gave him one of his rare wide smiles. “Can I take care of you?” he asked casually, without pressure.

Tommy lied back next to Adam and bit his lip. He knew he was just half-hard. “I… I’m good, I think,” he said unsure.

“Baby…” Adam turned his face towards him gently and looked into Tommy’s eyes. “I don’t want you to associate sex or feeling pleasure with something bad or seeing it as an obligation. Please, let me help you to release some tension…” he asked softly. “Will you let me help you? You can ask me to stop any time, you know that.”

Tommy hesitated and chewed on his bottom lip for a moment then nodded. “Okay…” he finally said and took a deep breath.

“It’s just me, baby. I won’t hurt you. You know me,” he said reassuringly and laced their fingers together to squeeze them. “I’m gonna just do the same you did to me, okay?” he looked calmly into Tommy’s eyes who just nodded again and turned his head to look at the ceiling.

He hated it that it was so difficult just to accept the pleasure his husband wanted to give him. He was doing so well today, he was even a bit proud of himself. And he just gave a hand-job to Adam, so he didn’t have to be afraid of what was to come, did he? He nodded again more to reassure himself and closed his eyes, concentrating on his breathing as he felt Adam’s hand draw small circles on his stomach then thighs while whispering sweet nothings into his ear, telling him how beautiful he was, how much he missed such touches between them, how much he wanted to pleasure Tommy like this…

It all made Tommy relax more and when Adam finally managed to put him in the right mindset with his soft kisses on his face and shoulder and took his cock in his hand, he was nearly fully hard. A broken moan escaped him from the feeling and instinctively he slid a hand on Adam’s arm, but he didn’t know if he wanted to stop him or just hold on to something. His other hand was fisting around the sheet.

“Look at me, baby,” he asked quietly and Tommy did while Adam was slowly stroking him with a hand he wetted previously. “Let the guilt and bad feelings go and feel the pleasure, baby… Let me see you enjoy this,” he whispered stroking him a bit firmer and harder, remembering how Tommy liked to be touched.

Tommy made a whiny little sound in agreement and closed his eyes again as Adam showered his lips and face with gentle little kisses, his hand doing wonders to his body and broken soul.

Adam slowed the moves of his hand after a while and waited until Tommy opened his eyes again and looked at him. “Everything okay, baby?”

“Y-yeah…” he panted softly and couldn’t stop himself from lightly bucking into Adam’s hand. He bit his bottom lip when he realized he was already leaking. He had no idea he missed this feeling so much and the longer he let Adam stroke him and look into his eyes, the easier it got to push the negative feelings away and let himself go.

“Please, baby… I’d like to use my mouth on you too,” Adam caressed the messy blonde hair out of Tommy’s flushed face. “Is it okay? Will you let me?”

Tommy was too turned on and in need of his release by now to say no so he just nodded a few times. Adam pressed one last kiss on his lips before he kissed his way down to the hard cock he was still stroking slowly. When he sucked it in his mouth keeping his eyes on Tommy to see his every reaction, the pleasured man threw his head back and his body arched with lust as he finally let out a moan too.

Adam was always amazing with his mouth and it didn’t take very long for him to take Tommy to the brink. “Just let it go whenever you’re ready, baby,” he paused for a moment then circled his tongue around the tip before he sucked him all the way back into his mouth. He wanted to give pleasure to his husband which he very much deserved after depriving himself from it for so long. And Tommy finally seemed to be able to let himself go enough in that pleasure to soon shoot his seed into his husband’s mouth. Adam kept sucking and caressing the shivering and arching body. Tommy’s pleasure-filled cries were like music to his ears.

He quickly licked him clean and crawled back next to the shaking body. He noticed tears staining Tommy’s face and when he took him in his arms, he started sobbing. Adam gently rocked and caressed his back and hair. “It’s okay, baby. Let it all out,” he mumbled knowing that this was a very big step for Tommy and Adam wanted him to get rid of a good amount of tension he’s been bottling up in the past months. His heart was breaking all over feeling how desperately his husband was sobbing into his chest while holding on to him for dear life, but he was glad too, because he knew that things would be easier after this. For both of them.

***

Tommy couldn’t deny that he was excited and a bit nervous as he was walking up to the temple with Adam hand in hand. It was a special day in his studies of the ancient knowledge and the most serious one so far. Adam made sure he understood the importance of what they were about to do. Tommy watched as Adam placed a richly decorated bowl in the middle of the golden altar that was surrounded by the small amphitheatre-like stairs sunk into the floor. He was sitting on one of the big comfy pillows next to his husband and tried to memorize everything the other man did.

As they discussed previously, Adam waved for Tommy to put the necessary herbs in the right order into the bowl while he was murmuring in the ancient language Tommy’s started to learn a couple of weeks ago too. He bit his lip as he followed each step he had to memorize before doing it for real.

When the ingredients were all placed in the bowl, Tommy put his hands back on his thighs and waited for Adam to light the herbs. Soon enough a rich smell hit his nose from the smoke that curled up from the bowl. Now they were both chanting the same few lines. Adam took Tommy’s hand and nodded for him to close his eyes and start the meditation.

It was deeper this time because of the smoke and the singing bowl’s sound that was still resonating in Tommy’s mind and soul as he sank deeper and deeper into himself. It was always an interesting experience when he got more in tune with himself. Starting with his breathing then letting his heart’s steady beating calm down his mind and being. Once his thoughts quieted down he could feel his whole being starting to open up. They practiced a lot with Adam and by then he was getting quite good at it. He could feel Adam’s energies burning his palm and joining his own where they were touching and it made him feel safe and more relaxed as he let his husband’s quiet and even voice guide him deeper and deeper.

A calm peace came over Tommy, allowing him to let go of all the remaining anxiety and fears he was still harboring despite how far he’d come since he was back from the Volcanoes. He let himself be lulled by the smoke and Adam’s voice. It was nice and relaxing and he could feel himself resonating together with the universe. It brought a higher understanding of things as he let his instincts lead and his rational thoughts melt into the background.

Soon after he felt a subtle change in the air and he heard Adam’s voice. “Slowly open your eyes…” he asked on a soft tone, lightly squeezing Tommy’s fingers.

Tommy did as he was asked. His sight wasn’t clear. It seemed as if he was looking at the world through a thin veil, making the colors of his surroundings brighter and slightly out of focus. He was amazed by the sight as he never before was so deep in meditation to have such visions. While looking around holding the hand of his husband he finally looked at Adam and gasped amazed as he saw his energies dancing around him in different colors. The soft smile on his face while looking back at Tommy made the blonde’s heart flutter. They shared a chaste kiss and when the smaller man pulled back he caught movement from the corner of his eye.

He turned just to softly gasp at the sight of the graceful figure.

“Tommy, meet Goddess Aset, the protector of Oudjat and our nation,” Adam grinned and nodded to the goddess with respect as she was walking down the few stairs just to stop on the other side of the altar, a soft smile playing on her lips.

“King Thomas, it’s nice to see you well and finally meet you in person…” she said and Tommy felt too shocked and amazed to reply right away. He was in the presence of a goddess after all…

***

“You okay, baby?” he heard Adam’s voice and it brought Tommy back from his thoughts. He was sitting in one of the chairs of their bed chamber. Since they’ve got back from the temple a little while ago he’s been sitting there deep in thought. His mind was repeating the vision in which the beautiful goddess visited and talked to them about the recent happenings and a little bit about the future as well.

“Yeah…” he sighed with a small smile, feeling oddly satisfied by the whole experience. “This was… amazing!” he looked at Adam. “Overwhelming, but amazing! I had no idea you were able to converse with your gods like this!”

Adam chuckled softly as he took off his tunic, his mind still a bit hazy from the deep trance and the smoke that they’ve been breathing in. “Not every god answers the prayers or calls. More often than not Aset stays away and looks over us from the distance, but there are times, when in great need, she comes to me when I ask for advice,” he said putting his tunic on the back of a vacant chair.

“That’s why you wanted to teach me this? To be able to ask for her advice when in need?” Tommy asked letting his eyes get lost in the sea of freckles that was being revealed. When Adam didn’t reply right away Tommy looked up and saw that he caught him looking. The blonde man smiled and blushed a little.

“Yes. Her advices helped me make the right decision on numerous occasions.”

“You asked her before you came after me too?” Tommy asked quietly as he met Adam’s eyes again.

“I did,” he nodded and took off his rings – except his wedding band – and the necklaces he liked to wear.

Tommy stole another glance of his husband’s body, mesmerized by the dance of muscles under his skin. The strength that radiated from Adam nearly all the time always amazed the smaller man and he felt drawn to it, especially now when his senses were still not back to normal. “But she didn’t warn you about Neil and me, did she?” he asked barely audible, but the way Adam paused for a moment before he let a necklace fall into his jewelry box told Tommy that he heard him.

“No. I don’t think she can see the future in details or maybe she does, I don’t know. The point is – as you know by now – that she won’t say anything explicit. She likes to talk in riddles or gives only hints. I believe that everything happens with a reason and maybe she isn’t allowed to help that much, even if she knows what’s going happen…” he mused, a dark expression crossing his freckled face while thinking about his brother.

Tommy understood that look. Adam was still mourning his brother, although now he was more open to talk about him. Neil’s loss was hard on him and when Tommy got better, he realized that Adam probably escaped into trying to help him and deal with the kingdoms’ issues instead of dealing with the loss of his brother. But a few weeks ago, not long after the first time they pleasured each other sexually, they talked about Neil and what it meant for them to lose him. Tommy could still remember how both he and Adam blamed themselves for the tragic event. It took a few more conversations and tears to start getting over the void Neil’s death had left in Adam. And Tommy wanted to help his husband after all that he’s done for him. He could practically thank his sanity to Adam and Taylor.

“… she can give only her guidance. Even so… I believe that his loss was a part of a bigger plan… like getting closer to you, making me harder against our enemies and taking more responsibility over the kingdoms’ future or maybe something else that I don’t see yet…” he trailed off rubbing a gem stone in the necklace he was holding lost in thought.

Tommy quietly stood up from his chair and walked over. He put his hand on Adam’s arm and turned him to be face-to-face. His husband watched him a little curious as he reached up and pulled Adam down for a soft kiss.

“What was that for?” he asked with a tiny smile on his face.

“I like the way you think,” Tommy simply said and kissed him again. “Undress me,” he breathed a little heavier.

“You sure?” Adam whispered looking into the brown eyes.

“I am,” he nodded. Tommy knew that Adam probably thought this’d end in a hand or blow job like in the last few weeks since that night, but this time he was planning more. He let Adam loosen the belt that held his tunic together then stroke the light fabric off his body. There was still a little bad feeling left inside about his scars, but he always thought back at the times when Adam kissed them all and told him how much he loved him with those too. He always tried to hold on to that memory when the uneasiness tightened his throat. He was doing that now too and let himself get lost in the soft caresses on his sides and the small of his back while they were kissing slowly and sensually.

He wanted that dark look of grief and guilt gone from his husband’s eyes so he kept kissing him while he pushed down Adam’s underwear and slid a hand on the half-hard cock between his legs. The moan into his mouth told Tommy that he was on the right path and he let Adam pull him back towards the bed.

He soon found himself lying on it naked and aroused as their kisses continued. He always loved when Adam took them both in his hand to grind against velvety but hard flesh. It made both of them moan with lust, but this time Tommy’s heart was beating faster and he broke their kiss to look into Adam’s eyes. He bit his lip a little nervous while slowly bucking back against Adam.

“What is it?” the freckled man asked seeing that Tommy wanted to say something.

“I… I want to try it… for real this time,” he whispered barely audible and blushed again.

“What do you mean?” he asked wanting to know exactly what Tommy meant to avoid any misunderstandings.

Tommy took a deep breath and pulled his legs higher up to rub his thighs against Adam’s sides. “I want you to… fuck me,” he breathed.

“Oh baby… you think you’re ready for that?”

Tommy offered him a small smile and a nod. It always moved him how much Adam cared for him. He never pushed more than what was necessary for his healing and he appreciated it. Adam hesitated for a second as he thought Tommy should’ve waited a bit more with that, but the slender hand slid on his nape and he met a serious pair of brown eyes. “I want to try it. Please… I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

Adam searched his eyes for a long minute then nodded. “Alright… but just tell me to stop any time you feel it’s getting too much, okay?”

“Okay, yeah,” Tommy nodded eagerly and returned the kiss he got from Adam before he started kissing his way down on his body. He was nervous and tense, but Adam’s tongue and teeth on his nipples could always do wonders to him. Not to mention his hand on his hard cock.

Tommy closed his eyes and arched his back as the skilled mouth took over the work of Adam’s hand. One hand found Adam’s dark hair, the other reached up above his own head to grab the headboard for support and some grounding. He was used to this by now, but in the last few weeks they never took it further from this point, so when Adam’s lips slid off his shaft and traced his balls before slipping further down to tease his perineum, Tommy’s moans got louder and his legs started shaking. But he still let Adam push his legs a bit further up to expose his hole. He felt more naked than ever before and it was an ambivalent feeling.

He gasped for air when he felt a wet tongue trace his hole after all these months. The feeling itself wasn’t bad, but he still bit his lip and opened his eyes to stop the uneasy feeling’s return. He could feel Adam’s attention on him, but he didn’t dare to look at him while he slicked him and his fingers up with some oil from the bedside table.

“It’s just me, baby. Breathe and relax,” he whispered soothingly and caressed Tommy’s thigh as he placed the tip of his middle-finger against his opening. A quiet whimper escaped Tommy as the finger slowly slid half-way in. His body clenched down on it to stop the intrusion and he panted for air. He tried to calm his breathing as his hands now fisted around the sheets. “Baby, I can stop if you want me to…”

“No… no! Keep going!” Tommy shook his head with closed eyes and pushed against the finger. Adam’s lips back on his cock gave him some distraction and soon the finger was all the way in. His body started to ease up and his breathing slowed down too as he opened his eyes and looked down at Adam. He was watching him with some worry in his eyes but otherwise tried to appear reassuring, his other hand never stopping his soothing caresses on his thigh.

Tommy nodded when a second finger was pressed against his opening and he concentrated on relaxing his muscles as much as possible. He hated it that this proved to be more difficult to him than expected. He thought that with his senses still a bit lulled by the smoke and the vision it’d be easier. Still, he forced himself to let the second thick finger in too. He let the headboard go and his fingers clutched tighter around the sheets as he looked down between his legs to watch the two digits moving in and out of him. A few minutes passed by like this before Adam lined up a third finger.

“You okay, baby? Want more?” Adam asked gently.

Tommy moved his hips a little and nodded again. “Yes… Keep going!” he panted and braced himself for the slight burn of the stretch. When the picture of his captors’ face flashed in front of him doing the same thing to him but with very little lube and roughly, he quickly opened his eyes and gasped for air, moving down on Adam’s fingers. He wanted them to go away. He wanted to be able to do this! He wanted to get over with it and leave his insecurities behind. “More!” he urged Adam, missing the worried look return on the freckled face.

His husband didn’t protest though just pushed the third finger all the way in too and made sure to curl them as soon as possible in search for that magical spot. Until he found it Tommy was taking deep breaths and he buried his face in one of the pillows. The discomfort grew for a moment as more memories flashed back, but then a shock of pleasure shot through him making him cry out. “Oh yes, right there!” he cried and moved against Adam’s fingers to get more of that amazing feeling he’d missed so much and on which he wanted to concentrate instead.

Adam kept pleasuring him like that, ready to make Tommy come on his fingers and into his mouth, but after a while the blonde pulled on his hair. “Please… fuck me now.”

The dark-haired man slid off his cock and looked up at Tommy, still massaging his prostate with his fingers. He hesitated for a moment but the lust and need in his husband’s eyes made him surrender to his will. He slowly withdrew his fingers and knelt up to slick up his cock. “Turn around, baby. It’s easier that way as it’s been a while…” he trailed off and Tommy nodded and turned on his stomach, his limbs shaking as he pressed his cheek against the pillow, hands fisting in the sheets again.

He could feel his heart beating in his throat again as he felt Adam adjust him and caress his thighs and ass. He tried to ignore the fact that his scars were now on display all over his back, ass and thighs, or the flashbacks the position brought with. He gritted his teeth together as he closed his eyes, trying to breathe steadily. He has to do this. He can do this! “Please…” he said on a broken voice, the growing fear urging him to do it now before he backed out.

“Baby… you’re so tense. I don’t think…”

“Just do it!” Tommy cut in and hated that the few moments Adam hesitated felt like an eternity before he pressed his wide tip against his prepared hole.

_“Take it, my little liar slut! I know you love my dick up in your tight little ass!” Vito chuckled and rammed into him without mercy. The burn was sharp as the hard meat made its way into him, stretching Tommy too fast. He tried to get free, but he was tied up, gagged and held down by the back of his neck. Hot tears were streaming down his face as he yelled against the gag, pain making him shudder as his body was used against his will…_

A wave of panic hit Tommy hard and he started panting and moving away from Adam, although his tip was just barely inside. The blonde man was shaking like a leaf and he realized that hot tears escaped his eyes just like in the memory he just saw and felt so clear as if it was happening all over. He whined and scrambled further away on the bed. “No… please, don’t…” he whined and curled up on his side into a small ball, hiding his face in his arm. Half-heartedly he was waiting for the beating for the disobedience as the panic was still gripping his throat and heart, his vision blurring.

“Baby… baby, it’s okay,” Adam hurried to reassure him as he crawled to his side, but didn’t try to touch him. “Just breathe with me. Come on, Tommy… breathe with me,” he asked worried while his heart broke all over again from his husband’s reaction, but that didn’t matter now. First he had to calm him down. It seemed Tommy heard him because he picked up the rhythm of Adam’s breathing and in a couple of minutes he calmed down enough not to hyperventilate or pass out. The panic’s grip eased up and his tears slowly stopped too. He felt the bed dip next to him so he knew Adam was lying on his side now, facing him. But Tommy didn’t dare to lift his arm and look at him. He felt ashamed and useless and it made him choke again.

“I’m sorry…” he whined feeling pathetic.

“It’s not your fault, love,” Adam said carefully putting his hand on Tommy’s tattooed forearm which hid his face. “Look at me, please,” he asked softly and waited until Tommy did. Adam wiped the rest of his tears away with his thumb and gave him a little sad but reassuring smile. “We should’ve waited with this. It’s okay. We’ll try some other time, alright?”

“But I thought… I thought I was ready. But I heard him… felt him forcing himself into me and I just… I just panicked… I’m so sorry… I’m such a disappointment!” Tommy whispered trying not to whimper again. “I so wanted to do this… I thought I can… I wanted to stop being afraid… wanted to give pleasure to you… as you went through a lot as well and I felt selfish… and I _am_ selfish!”

“No, baby, you aren’t. You’re still healing and I’ve already told you that I’ll wait for you as long as I have to,” he murmured sliding closer and pulling Tommy into a loose and gentle embrace. He pressed a kiss against his forehead and let him hide in his chest. “We’ll get through this too, baby. Give time to yourself.”

“But I didn’t want to wait anymore. I’m sick of waiting. I wanted to feel good about sex, about pleasuring you,” he sniffed and held Adam closer as he inhaled the familiar and calming scent of his husband.

“Clearly you can’t force these things. But I could see how much you wanted to pleasure me…” he said and hummed for a moment. Tommy sensed that he wasn’t ready and he was right. “You really want to give and get pleasure tonight, huh?”

“Yeah…” Tommy frowned lightly and pulled back enough to be able to look into Adam’s calm blue eyes. “But I don’t think I can…”

“No, I know, baby. What if we approached this from the wrong way?” Adam raised a brow.

“What do you mean?” Tommy shook his head feeling lost.

“Maybe instead of me topping you, you should try topping me…” he said calmly and Tommy’s mouth fell.

“WHAT?!”

“Why are you acting so surprised? I’ve told you at the very beginning that I let those top me whom I trust and love…”

“But…” Tommy was still practically speechless from shock. Adam never let him top before.

“Tommy… baby, you know I trust and love you,” he said sliding a hand on his neck so he could rub the smooth cheek with his thumb. “Maybe being in control instead of being controlled would help to let yourself go and not associate penetration with something bad… So… what do you say?”

Tommy bit his lip and watched Adam for a good minute while thinking about what his husband just said. It made sense to him, but he was still surprised that he’d offer something like this. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to fuck him. It was more like… it put a different kind of stress on him. But he thought he could deal with pleasuring Adam this way. “Okay… we can try,” he nodded and uncurled with a calmer expression.

Adam smiled at him and offered his lips for a kiss which Tommy gave him. As Adam gave control over the kiss, Tommy’s confidence slowly returned and soon he was lying on top of the bigger man. He could feel himself getting hard again and he didn’t miss Adam’s erection pressing against his thigh either. He still couldn’t believe Adam gave permission to this. That he wanted this. He was the embodiment of dominance, but Tommy figured there were times when he wanted to give up control too and just let the right partner take care of him. It seemed their relationship reached that point where Adam felt comfortable enough to offer this – besides wanting to help on Tommy, of course. And maybe he longed to be cared for after all the bad things that had happened to them lately.

While thinking about this Tommy found himself kissing and biting on Adam’s nipples as he was oiling up his fingers. He looked up at his husband who was flushed and clearly felt pleasure from each touch and the way Tommy’s fingers slowly worked him open. A haze of lust wiped the blonde man’s mind clear and he slowly got lost in Adam’s needy blue gaze while he brushed his wet tip against his hole.

“Please baby… let me feel you inside,” Adam panted clearly turned on like hell as his hard and heavy cock was already leaking pre-cum on his stomach.

Tommy nodded then moaned as he slowly started sliding inside. He felt relieved that no bad memories came back this time as he buried himself deeper and deeper until he finally bottomed out and stilled. Adam gave him a throaty groan and Tommy gave into the urge to kiss him passionately.

“Oh gracious gods! You feel so good, baby…” Adam groaned sliding his big hands down on Tommy’s scarred back to cup his small ass.

“Want me to move?” he panted with a questioning look.

“If you’re okay then please yes…” he nodded a few times and licked his freckled lips as he pulled his legs a bit higher and put them around Tommy’s sides to give better access.

“I’m good… I promise,” he said and he didn’t lie this time, he really felt good and turned on as the novelty of this fascinated him. He started remembering how it felt to be the one dominating the other. He remembered how much he loved to fuck his lovers like this and it made him more confident. He made sure he didn’t revisit his memories about Carlo back when they were still lovers. No, now he was focusing on pleasuring his husband. While rolling his hips back and forth, he looked down at the freckled and flushed face that was swimming in the pleasure he deserved so much.

Tommy could see each step Adam took to surrender to his control and fall apart under him. He never heard him moan this way or saw this kind of calm on his face as he was enjoying the deep and intense thrusts against his prostate. It was more than just making love to him. Tommy felt himself more connected to him than ever before and the fact that he was topping him was just one of the reasons. The others were the way he finally wasn’t afraid to give in to the sexual pleasures he’s been struggling with lately, and that this ran deeper, touching their souls which seemed to melt into one as Tommy pressed his whole body against his husband’s and kissed him deeply. It was a magical moment and he wanted to make it last as long as possible while their feelings for each other were filling them just like Tommy’s seed soon filled Adam’s shaking and sweaty body for the first time.

The shared orgasm made Tommy lose control and shake and shiver atop of Adam as he was moaning his pleasure into the other man’s mouth. It was overwhelming and it felt like he let another shackle fall off him. He knew he had a few more and that it’d take time to get rid off all, but he was just so happy and serene in that moment that he didn’t care about anything else. He was grateful that Adam made this possible. Without him he had no idea in what state he’d have been at that moment. Probably he’d be still in a very dark place, but the warmth and love this freckled man gave him helped him through the worst period of his life and now he dared to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had no idea he needed Adam’s deep trust and offer to take yet another step in his recovery, but he could already tell that it was working. A weight was lifted off his heaving chest and it was as if he could finally take a deep cleansing breath.

As Tommy opened his eyes and looked down at the blissful man underneath, some things just clicked into place and he had to gasp from yet another revelation. This was the moment he talked to his sister about.

“Adam…” he whispered still breathing a bit quicker.

“Yes, baby?” he asked as he looked up at him with hazy blue eyes and a satisfied expression.

“I love you,” Tommy simply said and there was no hesitation in his voice. He could see the moment it dawned on Adam what he just said and the radiating smile he was rewarded with made Tommy warm all over.

“Really?” Adam asked with a little disbelief as it was the first time Tommy said it out loud.

“Yeah…” he grinned down at him and let Adam pull him in for a sensual and deep kiss.

“I love you too, Tommy. From the bottom of my heart… Forever,” he whispered on his lips in the half-light of their bed chamber.


	17. Let the Sunshine In

**Chapter 17**   
**\- Epilogue -**   
**Let the Sunshine In**

Adam was standing by the balustrade at the edge of their floor of the palace, the long pool behind him. The sun was rising over one of the sand dunes, sending its already warm rays down on the Land of the Sand, but it wasn’t uncomfortably hot yet. The soft warm breeze made the nearby potted plants lightly move. The king closed his eyes and turned his head towards the sun to take a few deep breaths, his hands resting on the marble in front of him. It was the beginning of an important day.

As Adam murmured a soft prayer to the gods he let a few other things cross his mind too. Things he’d have to do that day. The sound of a soft chime-like giggle made him open his eyes and look to the left. He saw the silhouette of a familiar female figure move away. He watched as the edge of the transparent white and gold tunic disappeared behind a palm tree while the vision dissolved. Adam smiled to himself. He had a good feeling about today’s mission.

He turned back towards his beloved city which was slowly waking up after the preparations. A lot has happened in the past three years, but Adam was confident and felt himself more prepared than around the time of his and Tommy’s coronation.

The relations with most of the Eastern kingdoms’ were stronger now. There were negotiations and a few smaller battles in the past three years with those kingdoms which didn’t want to cooperate or tried to attack the Sand and the Sea. Two were overtaken and added to the territory of their united kingdom. Tommy and Adam spent the first two years in the Sand to strengthen the kingdom and governed the Sea from there too with the help of Tommy’s father. The kingdoms now had a strong army both on the land and at sea, but when there was a problem they first always tried to solve it in a diplomatic way. But in case of attacks Adam and Tommy became the firm-handed kings they had to be in order to protect what they’ve built up so far.

The third year was spent at the Sea, closer to the Caves where Tommy’s sister lived with her husband, Bridget and their second daughter. They visited as often as they could and Adam knew that Tommy loved to spend time with his nieces. To be honest, he liked to play with them too and it came to his mind more often that maybe in the near future they should have a kid on their own. Another little Prince or Princess of their kingdom. That’d be cute and he was sure Joshua would love to have another kid to play and grow up with.

A bittersweet smile appeared on Adam’s face as he thought of his nephew, because it inevitably led him to think of Neil too. There were still times when he missed him terribly and felt a little guilty, but they did everything they could to help Miriam and her son and slowly Adam made peace with himself and the loss of his brother. Time really was slowly healing that deep wound. He wondered what kind of sarcastic things his brother would have said to him before they were ready to go to war with Queen Thalia.

Adam sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about the battle ahead. It took this much time for Thalia to gather enough allies and manpower to try something against them. But the tall man wasn’t worried about the outcome. He still had that good feeling and taking a glimpse of their goddess only reassured him more. Besides, they were stronger than the last enemy that tried to ruin the peace they’ve managed to keep more or less in the last few years. Adam and Tommy’s goal was to keep it as long as possible after they returned from battle. Maybe then they could think of extending their family too.

Adam smiled and opened his eyes as a thin but toned arm slid around his waist from behind. He could feel it was his husband even before Tommy reached him. He slid his right hand on the tattooed arm around him as his shoulder-blade was kissed.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked the freckled man, resting his cheek against the naked back.

“About peace,” he answered and turned around to be able to take Tommy in his arms and look into the sleepy brown eyes.

“Hm, good topic,” he smiled up at Adam and offered his mouth for a morning kiss, which he got, of course. “A bit serious this early in the morning, but a good one. You think we’ll be able to maintain it?”

“Yes,” Adam nodded without hesitation. “I’m absolutely positive about that. I saw a few good omens and I have a good feeling about today too, baby,” he nodded smiling down at Tommy. He found the messy hair and sleepy expression adorable as he was holding his husband, who was wearing only his undergarment like Adam. “You’re beautiful this morning.”

“Duh, I can imagine,” Tommy rolled his eyes but kept smiling. “But hey, wait! Just this morning? Where did the ‘you’re always beautiful’ go?” he teased pressing his body tighter against the freckled skin.

Adam giggled and shook his head. “It didn’t go anywhere. It’ll always be true,” he answered and leaned down for another kiss. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Morning. Could’ve been better, but you were gone from bed when I woke up. What was more important than staying there with me?”

“I was just thinking about the past and today… and the future.”

“Oh really? And what do you think about the latter two?”

“We’ll win and then have a peaceful future with kids. Simple like that,” he shrugged confident and caressed the small of Tommy’s back, not skipping the scars there, which nearly made the blonde man purr.

“I like the sound of that. This is the dawning of a new age…”

“Exactly. The dawning of _our_ age,” Adam winked and they exchanged another kiss. Deep and sensual this time.

“That’s right,” he said catching his breath and just let himself get lost in looking at this handsome man he could call his husband and with whom he was so much in love with. He never would’ve thought that they’d get here one day. He was at peace with himself and the two of them. He was at the brink of making peace with the darkest part of his past too. With the help of Adam Tommy could leave behind all the bad things that happened to him. He will never forget, but he’d learned from them. They made him stronger and he knew by now that together they could overcome anything. He knew that Adam didn’t want to take Tommy with him into battle, but the blonde persuaded him. He needed his revenge to completely close that dark chapter of his life. And defeating Queen Thalia, who was part of the reason why Tommy was taken away, would be the last piece of that puzzle. Seeing Adam this confident about the battle calmed Tommy and he was now looking forward to what the day held for them, but before that…

“You know… It’s still very early and I think we started the day in the wrong way…” Tommy grinned sliding his hands down onto Adam’s butt.

“Oh really? What are you trying to suggest?” he raised a brow grinning. He loved the playful sparkle in Tommy’s eyes.

“We should get back to bed…” he began and reached for Adam’s hand to slide it down on his own ass. “and start it right. Don’t you think?”

Adam grinned and licked his freckled lip pretending to be deep in thought as he squeezed the small ass. He knew they’d have a long and stressful day ahead and they couldn’t know when they’d next have time for each other. The idea of starting the day with burying himself into the man he loved more than anything sounded more than appealing to him. “If you aren’t too sore from last night… But oh well, you must be right, my dear husband.”

“Nah, I’m good and I’m always right…” he winked and started pulling him back towards their bed chamber, while Adam’s giggle was carried away by a warmer breeze coming from the desert. The breeze of change with the promise of the better future the young kings were dreaming of.

 

 

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yes, it's over. My baby is done and of course I'm a bit emotional about that. (I think I'll re-read it from the beginning some time soon to see how it works like that.)  
> I want to thank everyone who took their time to read the story, gave kudos and wrote comments with their opinion(s). It really kept me going and always made my days. I hope you enjoyed the soundtrack/mix too I've put together. But most of all, I'm happy I could make the Mondays of many a bit better with my weekly updates and I'll try to keep the stories coming (even if not on every week or Monday). So thank you all again for the love and support! Love you all! <3  
> Usi


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